Mommy's Law

*Don't forget to enter my contest!!*

We all know about Murphy's Law--Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way.

Well what about Mommy's Law? Heard of it? For me it goes something like this...if I'm on a weekend away with Hubby, or friends, or on a night out alone, I am bound to be flooded with thoughts, comments, and guilty feelings about not being with my children.

Or even wanting to bottle up their preciousness at a young age...then wanting them to "grow up" in the next breath.

You too?

Sitting at dinner with Hubby on a night out. We talk about his work. He asks about my blog. Then...all about the kids.

Driving out of town for the weekend we discuss our plans, movie times, radio stations....baseball. Then the kids. A text arrives soon after from DQ. "Miss You!!!!!!!!!!" Miss You Too, Get Off Papa's New Cell Phone!

Bunco? Yep, all kid talk. Grades, deliquency, boyfriends (ack), and teachers.

I'm doubting men do this. They don't even talk about their wives. Or women at all.

It's all we know when we have young ones. Our worlds revolve around them.

My friend R made a few comments the other day, "I won't see my son for a month! [he's out of the country with Scouts then travelling with his grandpa]" and "I haven't seen my daughter [teen] all day!"

That was so odd. I ALWAYS see my kids. I mean a few hours here and there, and if we're lucky a weekend. But, a MONTH! Or even all day when you're in town?! I wonder what that day would be like to have those words come out of my mouth. Some days I want to know, most others, I don't. Catch-22.

Mommy's Law.

56 supporters in group:

  1. ciara said...

    i'm already saying, 'i wont see my kids for 7 weeks!' but that's cuz they have to visit their dad. i end up missing the heck out of them. they actually came home 4 wks early this summer because they were getting in trouble for every little thing there.

    i also have a 21 yr old and i see him only once or twice a yr now since he moved back to vegas. hard to let your kids grow up, but then you gotta.

  2. wehave9 said...

    I totally agree! We spend so much time figuring out when we can get away from the kids only to spend our "alone" time talking about them.

  3. ugagirl30 said...

    I know how you feel. I always want my children to go have sleep overs somewhere, but I can't wait to go pick them up. I miss them so terribly when we are apart. All 3 are spending the night with my sister on Saturday while we go to the Def Leppard concert with 6 friends. I'll probably be miserable most of the time. Mainly because it is August in Alabama, but also because I'll be worrying about the kiddos.

  4. Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

    It is scary as they get older- my 12 year old is constantly wanting to go spend the weekend with friends and pretty soon will be traveling with a basketball league and I won't always be able to join. Letting go of that "mommy control" is soooo hard but a necessary part of letting them grow up.

  5. Jaime H. said...

    Yep. I know the feeling! No matter who I'm talking to, my Honey, my parents, grandparents, I always bring up the kids!

    I didn't see my kids for 2.5 weeks last month. I went out of my MIND! I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. It was horrible. Mind you, it was nice to sleep in until 10 and stay up late watching movies, but during the day, I didn't know what to do, since I wasn't wiping noses or tooshies or making PBJs.

  6. Tenakim said...

    Good points. Yes, I totally get it. I complain about them, but when they're not here, there's really something missing!

    My husband is toooo overprotective to allow ANY of our kids to be gone for more than 1 night, much less a month, until they are in college! That's not somethng I'll have to ponder.

  7. Brittany said...

    I am the same way, the second I am not with them, I am guilty about it and really, it's all there is to talk about.

    I think back when I was a kid, and I remember going on trips a lot with friends, and staying over at a friends house for days at a time...how did my parents do it?!

    Luckily, by the time I was a teen, my house was always where we gathered, so I was home very weekend swimming and having bonfires...so I will just try to have that happen when my boys are older...I hope.

  8. Jo-Jo said...

    Oh my, you sound like me. I was thinking yesterday when was the last time I was without both kids at the same time. I don't mean at work teaching other kids but at home or out doing something relaxing without my kids. I tell my mom this and she mentions me getting my sister-n-law to keep one of them overnight. I don't like her roommate so no...Guess I don't need that break to mcuh afer all!

  9. Chelle said...

    I'm right beside you on this one. Even when I'm gone for a few hours my thoughts are always back to Bella. I can't imagine an entire month...that must be hard!

  10. Susan said...

    So very true!!!
    My husband and I always talk about missing the kids even when we are just out to dinner.
    When I go out for Girl's Night Out we all have to force and remind each other not to talk about the kids or it will consume our night. It is really hard though!
    I have to go away in January and will be gone from my kids for 2 and a half days. I am already worrying about how miserable I will be because I will miss them. Though, I may get over it at night when I get to sleep without interruptions :)

  11. smiles4u said...

    Right now I have a foot in both of those worlds. With my little people I never get a break from them, except a few hours here and there. The days get long and monotonous, just like when my other kids were young. On the other hand my "first" set of children are now grown and 4 out of the 5 have moved out of state...I am in a constant state of missing them. Now I look back at those years, where your at now and remember feeling like this time would last forever...the monotony of raising kids day in and day out...and just wanting them to grow up and quit needing me so much...now it feels like time passed so fast...too fast.

    So, I agree it's a catch 22...I think the lesson I have learned in all this is that in the big picture our time with our children living in our homes really is short...that we do need to take breaks(I'm working on that!)while in the midst of the growing up years but that indeed our children grow up fast and to embrace every moment we get to have them in our homes...I swear in a blink of an eye they grew up on me!

  12. Smart A$$ Mom said...

    I have gone days and not seen my kids; either away on a trip or sleep away camp. It is misery. The entire time. Now, when I go out with my husband, we have just turned this new leaf where we can go out and the kids don't come up as a subject....pretty interesting.

  13. Amy said...

    Yep, me too!

  14. Ranch Girl said...

    I can't imagine not seeing M for a whole month - I might lose my mind! And, I remember going out and it seemed like the moms did nothing but talk about the kids (and sometimes the hubbies!). When I head to work each day I always get at least 2 calls from M asking when I'm coming home (mind you, I work 2 hours or less each day) - it's been really hard to stay at work and get my work done guilt free! Ah, I'm just glad my baby boy isn't too grown up yet ...

  15. Tena said...

    I want to beat Murphy's butt most days but your on to something with the Mommy Law. Being a mom is a 24/7 job, even on the moments you are suppose to be on your vacation! I think that makes you a normal, kick butt kind of mama!

  16. Alice said...

    It can be hard sometimes, but it does get awfully nice when my in-laws take the kids for a few days. You miss them, but it's sheer bliss in the mornings for sure.

  17. ali said...

    Next week my boys are spending 3 nights with their grandparents. They'll be 3 hours away and I think I'm already starting the miss them:)

  18. Lindsey said...

    I was JUST discussing this with my girls this past weekend, on the Hunt for CB, Part III, up in Canada. My kids were hyperactive and driving me nuts all week, and when Friday rolled around and it was time to leave them, I breathed a sigh of relief. Until my husband pulled out of the driveway to take the kids to Nana's house, and they were pressed up against the truck windows, blowing kisses. Then I cried for ten minutes. Then I missed them all weekend. Damn invisible umbilical cord.

  19. Heather @ A Boy, A Girl, A Pug said...

    I hate it when my kids are gone over night.

    I didn't leave Kyler for the whole night until I was in the hospital giving birth to Ella!!

    I cried that night. My husband thought it was from the pain. It was really because I missed Kyler so much!

  20. Sassy Mama Bear said...

    Happens no matter how old the kids are I think, still do it and our kids are in their teens, but you know I think it shows we are good parents. I know some who easily leave their kids and never call or think about them.

  21. mom3crazygirls said...

    I am totally with you! After being cooped up with each other for 7 days so far, I love them one second and wondering how much I can get on ebay the next!! Haven't had a conversation with another mom friend that hasn't at least started and ended with stuff about our kids - perhaps hubbies and maybe even something that has nothing to do with our families at all if we're lucky!!!!

  22. scargosun said...

    I have to tell you, being friends with people who ALL have kids...this is the rule rather than the exception...and...you are right. It is a Catch 22, for me too.

  23. HappyHourSue said...

    So funny that you "girls weekend countdown" widget is right at the end of this post. Anyone want to know how many days til school starts? 27. I'm ready to miss them.

  24. Merrie said...

    Hey, don't forget -- we also talked about pharmaceuticals.

    But I know what you mean. I'm excited about Vegas, but I know I'll feel a little out of sorts without my family. This is a first.

  25. momto2boys said...

    It's so true. When I go to conferences I think your brother thinks he's going to get a break, but I call and text all of the time...push pull push pull... it is the mommy's law.

  26. TONYA said...

    Yep, we find that discussions always end up being about kids too.

    I haven't spent more than a few hours away from the kids. I don't know that I could do it. Then I think of my hubby who isn't going to see them for the next year. I don't know how he does it.

  27. tollesons4him said...

    I have to agree pretty much like that with me always seem to talk abou the kids. Oh, and yes I am entered into your giveaway :)
    Happy Wed. to ya!

  28. Aubrey said...

    Earlier this year, my mom came to stay with our kids for a week while my Hubby & I took a belated anniversary trip. I missed them terribly and called at least twice a day!
    scargosun is righ...it seems to be the rule not the exception!

  29. armyfamilyok said...

    My parents take my daughter twice a year. They get her for a week during Christmas break and a week during summer vacation. At first, it started as a couple days and as she got older, it got to be this. Now, they're asking for her for 2 weeks next summer. I haven't quite wrapped my arms around that one YET!!

    I love my daughter as much as any mother can. She's everything to me. But, we time need away too. It just makes us stronger. We grow closer.

    My parents love her and she loves them. This is their time. She absolutely loves it there. It's a totally different life than she has at home. And no, she's not spoiled and pampered. She still has rules to follow and chores to help with. Sure, they're grandparents, they have to spoil a little bit!!

    I talk to her every night on the phone. She's called me during the day when she missed me. Last night, we were on the webcam together. It amazes me that she grows while she's gone.

    I can understand how you can't imagine being without your kids. I was that way too. It took me a long time to get her and I swore I'd never let her go. Then, I realized I had to....for her.

  30. Kristen Andrews said...

    so true isn't it. before i had a kiddo, i didn't get it. when kathie lee use to talk about her kids all the time on regis and kathie lee i just didn't get it. now i do.

    Kristen

  31. Jennifer said...

    I totally know what you mean. Especially having a baby around again I feel guilty going to the grocery store when she is napping just because I can get it done faster lol

  32. Kelli said...

    Mommy's Law works in full force at this house. I feel guilty leaving even when the kids are asleep. How pathetic is that?

  33. This Mom said...

    Mommy's Law SUCKS. Everyone says you need time for yourself to be a better mom. But you can never get it without first a good dose of kid guilt or hubby guilt.

  34. Ann said...

    Yea, hi, I was looking for "Less Expensive Than Meds". Is this the right blog? (wink! wink!)

  35. Tara R. said...

    Sometimes I don't see my college kid for days. She's asleep when I leave for work and I'm asleep when she gets home. She went to China - CHINA - for two weeks and I couldn't even talk to her. But Hubs and I will still take about our kids if we get a night out alone. When she goes back to school this fall, I will go weeks, without seeing her... it is still strange.

  36. Marla said...

    this is GOOD stuff... every trip i take i miss my kids... then come re-entry and i can't wait to get away again... damn mommy's law

  37. Not Just Any Jen said...

    I love this post, it is all so true.
    Jen

  38. Susiewearsthepants said...

    I am a single mom. Thank goodness despite my divorce, my child still maintains close relationships with his side of the family. Which means that Keri is gone A LOT during the summer. I get lots of breaks, it's REALLY, REALLY nice.

  39. Jonny's Mommy said...

    I have this same problem....Hubby and I finally get time alone and bam...we're talking about Jonathan and wondering what he's doing and how he's doing and....it's usually me bringing it up, but...*sigh*

    Yeah...I wonder what my little guy is doing right now.

    Better go check

  40. Rebecca a.k.a. Mum said...

    I often don't see Jarod (11) for the whole day, he will leave the house around 10am and wont come home till 7pm!
    This is because living on a base it is an enclosed and safe community, security (military police) drive all over the base daily and I know where he is, there are only a couple friends he hangs out with daily.

    Now during the summer holidays I am barely away from the little ones, but when school is on the twins are in pre-school 3 hours a day for the whole week, and beleive me it is a JOY!
    Once Nate is PT and 3 he will join them, and I am SO looking forward to having NO kids for 3 hours every day! lol

  41. Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

    When Kyle is gone for one night, Mr.4444 and I miss him SO much! I think it's because we know he'll be gone in a blink to college!

  42. Ring Leader said...

    I have the same thoughts. I am also consumed with thoughts of my kids. I have four so there's a lot to think about. Talk about.

    I feel like my identity is gone. When did I become the mom who can't talk about anything but her kids?

    There's not much else though. I am a SAHM. I have been for 7 yrs. I don't have many hobbies because there's not much I can do with 4 kids in tow.

    Now that they are all going to school in the Fall I find myself lost. What am I going to do for those 3 hours? Will I sleep? Will I clean? Will I get lunch with my girlfriend?

    I just can't see a time when they won't be here filling up my thoughts and days. It's an odd thought.

  43. Ali Blogger said...

    So true. The motorcycle ended up being great for Hubby and I cuz then we don't have to talk at all!

  44. Petra said...

    Amazing, I was reading this and thinking "it is like she is in my head!" Get out of there woman, it's dangerous in there! LOL. But seriously, it is amazing how we, as mothers, can relate to each other like no one else.

    Thanks for being a fellow mom and mind reader.

  45. Carol said...

    So true!

    There is no pleasing us. We long for time off and away and then spend almost every minute thinking about the ones we longed to have a break from.

    Oh well may as well relish it while they actually like being with us.

  46. anti-supermom said...

    My husband just got here last night after not seeing the kiddos for 7 days, it sound dreamy - but also I could never imagine it. Well written~

  47. mom2natnkatncj said...

    Ahhh ain't that the truth. Sometimes being with the kids just about every minute can be very draining, but really how many more years of this do we have? My oldest is 9 so it won't be long now.

  48. Diane said...

    I see my kids for a couple of hours in the morning and at night and on the weekends and there are some days that is too much! I often need a break from them. I miss them, yes, but it's nice to have adult, kid-free time. I'm good for a weekend away, but longer than that I start to get antsy to see them again.

  49. Kelly said...

    Here's another mom law...if you are quietly sitting down with a hot cup of tea reading blogs the children will hear you BREATHING and come downstairs.

    Yes, I know we must enjoy the time we have with them as soon enough they will be insisting on being dropped off a block away and live with a phone and "much cooler" people to hang around. But sheesh!

    Happy POW!

  50. Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

    I agree with you 100% on Mommy's Law. When I am feeling overwhelmed all I want is time away, but when that time comes I can't get my sweet little guy out of my head and end up wanting to get back home as soon as I can!

  51. Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

    I agree with you 100% on Mommy's Law. When I am feeling overwhelmed all I want is time away, but when that time comes I can't get my sweet little guy out of my head and end up wanting to get back home as soon as I can!

  52. Mamasphere said...

    I LONG for time alone, away from the kiddo. But as soon as I get it, I miss her so much I usually cut my plans short. Then it's back to wishing ANYONE would take her away so I could have a break. I imagine it'll always be like that, and I don't think I'd have it any other way.

  53. LifeatTheCircus said...

    I am with you... I can't imagine uttering those words either!

  54. McMommy said...

    You are speaking my language! I have not voluntarily gone away with my husband in over 3 YEARS because of the kids. Luckily, he feels the same way. So at least we can only blame ourselves...

  55. Jenny said...

    no way i could be away for a month or have my child away for a month. i do relish in my hour here and there away from the little one but that is just to get my sanity back and keeps me being a good mommy.

  56. Deanna Watson said...

    I was a nanny in Europe for 3 months. I still talked to my mom through email every week.
    xo

Related Posts with Thumbnails