The End of Elementary School.
Five days of elementary school, then it's over.
High school bound.
My oldest will head to Great America theme park this week to celebrate with the eighth grade class.
She will spend her last days with her favorite group of friends, some of which will be heading to different schools in the fall.
Memories of youth behind her as she grows into a young woman.
Scared to start anew.
Excited to start anew.
Sad to miss those friends.
Eager to meet new ones, I think.
Where did the time go?
She just graduated from Kindergarten!
Now an eighth grade graduate.
I'm so proud of my girl.
She's beautiful, smart, and so precious.
I love the woman she's becoming.
I just don't want her to grow up so fast.
Baby Talk from my Baby.
The past few nights have been late ones.Late ones like we were out of town for a baseball game.
Dance and dinner ran late.
The yewzh.
Everyone was cranky and tired and over-tired and super cranked.
The whining was abundant.
A bumped head out of crankdom made bath time a cryfest.
Oy.
Finally, my youngest calmed down enough to request her nightly book reading and tuck in.
She lays in the bottom bunk, story is read, kisses are given then lights out.
Tonight I needed more after all the emotion.
"Lay with me here on the couch and we'll read."
SIGH okay.
I read her book for the night which is like an encyclopedia, she finally tells me...
Stop there, I'm tired.
"Please, how about we cuddle on my bed?"
...stomp stomp OHKAY!
As we climb into my bed I rub her back and she lets out a "MAMA" in complete baby talk style.
Sounded like one of those baby doll back in the day when you pulled the string on their back they cried Mama!
I giggle.
She giggles.
Her giggles make me giggle more.
Giggles amplify in the room until we're delirious.
Just a few minutes later she's asleep on top of me in my bed.
Oh these moments, I want to bottle them up before they're gone forever!
A Long Phase of Separation Anxiety?
I was trying to think about what has been bothering me.I mean, I've dealt with PPD, depression, and anxiety for years since the birth of my second child.
This feels like that, and I am finally putting a finger on the cause.
Over this past year a few things have happened that have left me sad during the day.
My youngest and last child spends her day in the Kindergarten classroom.
Don't get me wrong, she needs Kindergarten.
She loves Kindergarten.
She's wanted to go since birth.
As a result she is a reading machine, loves to write, loves art thanks to her amazing teacher and is almost done with Kindergarten heading to first grade.
The sad part is that I feel lost at home. Alone.
I still have my schedule in the morning for dropoff, then I drive crazily all over town each afternoon.
I work in the classroom and at the student store at two schools.
But when I wrote the Lonely Mama Bird post, I thought the phase would be short.
Nope, it's lasted all year.
I'm a stay at home mom, with no kids at home during the day.
I am working. I do have my review blog that I work hard at and has garnered me a "part-time job" but the emptiness is still there in my heart.
Also, my husband's new job has yet to really sink in.
For nearly 20 years, the length of our relationship, he has worked in our hometown.
Less than a mile away, only a few minutes commute.
Last July that changed due to the economy.
Thankfully something wonderful was offered to him, an hour's commute each day.
Yes, he has a job. Yes, it could be farther, like some people deal with.
But, in all those years, every day I saw him at lunch time. He was there for the kids' awards assemblies. He could come at a minutes notice to help me out when I needed a hand. He was able to manage our son's baseball team and he was just so close.
Spoiled. Yes, I was. I appreciated every moment of it.
Now, we have lunch together maybe once a month.
Now, he doesn't make it home in time for baseball practice.
Now, he misses just the smallest things like picking up our youngest after she's gotten her first good citizen award.
Now, his meetings are in different counties, he spends his evenings at city planning meetings.
It's made me feel like I have separation anxiety, I guess.
Oh. I'll live. It's just a long phase.
I Often Dream of an Office Outside My Home
Since having my first child back in the 1900's...I haven't worked outside the home.It's a blessing.
It's a curse.
I wake up, make lunches, ship the kids off to school and then come home.
Around me I see my bed first and foremost.
My "office" is a desk in our bedroom.
There's just no other place for it in our teensy house.
So my dilemma becomes, bed or desk.
Should I get a few more winks, or should I check my email?
Then I wonder into the living room.
TV. All to me.
My shows recorded dutifully on my DVR just waiting for me to press play.
TV, a few winks, or write some blog posts?
Then there's the kitchen. Unlimited food, drinks, snacks.
Should I eat, sleep, watch tv, or throw out some travel pitches?
There are so many distractions at home although I'm all alone.
I often wish for a real office. Outside my home.
It would drive me a bit more, motivate me a bit more.
It may get me out of my PJ's a bit more.
My hair may get done outside the classic ponytail or tucked into my signature black hat.
Hmmm.
Downside about an outside the home office....rent.
On top of our mortgage.
Yeah, probably not going to happen.
But, maybe some day.
Our Spring in Instagram Photos
It's been almost a month since I last posted.That's gotta be a record.
I'm usually busy over at The Mom Reviews.
But, mostly with life.
This little guy, our newest nephew at almost 4 months...
Still having fun at theme parks and enjoying the world through the eyes of a child.
Damn You Katniss Everdeen!
It sat there taunting me.Dare ya, I think it said.
No, I'm not delirious, the book talked to me.
I think.
Hunger Games this, Hunger Games that.
Dude, it's not Harry Potter.
It's definitely not Twilight.
Jacob is NOT in it.
Neither is Adam Levine.
No, I'm not going to read it.
It took my husband one day to finish book 1.
It took him one other full day to finish book 2.
There there's that thing called work, family, dinner, sleep.
I think it took him 2 full days to finish the third book.
"Just read it. You'll like it!
No, I have a stack of real-non-teenager-books to read.
Even if I had the time, I would feel like I should be doing something else.
Working, making money, laundry, cooking, grocery shopping,
You know, real things.
"Just read the first page."
"Just read the first chapter."
My husband's book harassment was getting old.
I wanted nothing more to NOT read the books because he did.
You're cool honey, you and the squealing girls at the midnight premiere of the movie, that's super cool.
Maybe ask DQ if you can wear her Team Catnip shirt.
So then a week goes by and that book is there next to the couch.
Even My Boy and DQ aren't reading it.
"A book about kids killing kids, no thanks" says DQ.
Plus, just watch the news and you'll see that, wait...don't watch the news.
They're not followers. Apparently like my husband.
Hype schmype.
Movie schmovie.
Ugh.
I'll read one page, be completely bored and be done with it.
Gave it the good 'ol college try.
Read me! Holy Crap, the book literally hissed at me. I swear I think there's a ghost in this house!
Ugh.
2 chapters later....I text my husband.
I caved.
"Told ya!"
Dammit.
There goes my free time.
My Boy's Eleven and I Miss Party Stress
Last week My Boy turned eleven.11.
Ten plus 1.
Does this mark the TWEENS?
I think so.
The first year we didn't have a full-on Swag-fest with jumphouse and mommy-stress.
It was kinda nice.
Though when the weather gets it's head out of it's butt we're going to the beach.
The Beach Boardwalk that is.
My Boy will bring a couple of buds and they'll get their amusement park junk food and rides on.
We'll also get our season passes.
Look at me all multi-tasking.
It's about time.
But, I miss that bounce house.
I miss all the kids running amok.
I miss all the food and goody bags.
The store bought birthday cake that feeds a small army.
I miss the party stress.
Oh wait...no I don't.
