I Owe the World Big Time Positive Karma
Remember when those flashing lights got me the last time when I was climbing over the back seat?If you forgot, read this post when I got carded twice in one night, http://www.themomjen.com/2008/07/i-was-carded-twice-in-one-night.html.
So over the weekend we had a MOST relaxing few days up in the sierras with my husband's family.
Eat, cozy by the fire, throw rocks in the lake, nap, repeat.
Glorious.
Well, one of the nights we drove across the stateline to a sports bar for dinner. I was not drinking, hubby indulged in
Of course I was going to drive home, and by the time we left everyone including me was exhausted.
The tourist spot was pretty dead everywhere due to the lack of snow, including on the road.
You know how you get in that, "I just want to get the heck home" mode, well that combined with driving over the speed limit was my way to make it happen.
Stupid.
Suddenly, I'm blinded by bright lights and it wasn't from the casinos around me. Red, white, and blue shimmered in my rear view window and my heart fell to my stomach.
Holy Shit!
I don't have my wallet with me.
Panic sets in as the cop approaches my window and asks me for my license and registration, proof of insurance. 2 out of 3 isn't normally bad.
When I tell him I don't have my license I see the look in his eyes. I'm freaking busted.
He then asks me my license number.
Thank goodness for my normally useless knack for remembering numbers.
Hell, I have my MOM's license number memorized for what reason I'll never know.
It's B...9....5...0......DAMN that's my social security number, wait...
I'm freaking out now. He's going to ask me if I was drinking, have me walk the line and put my finger on my nose (or whatever they do) in front of the kids scared in the back seat!!
Suddenly the number comes flooding back to my bloodless brain and spill it to him correctly as he writes it down.
Cold sweat drips from my brow as he says, "i'll be right back."
My husband pulls out his cell phone and giggles as he dials my brother-in-law's number, who was following us and probably drove by laughing.
I hear something like "Jen's busted!" and some more smirking but the heartbeat in my ear is overpowering.
His return to the car felt like hours.
I just want to get back to the cabin and sleep the whole experience away.
I hear, "I'm going to let you off with a warning...." and my first instinct is to jump through the window and kiss this uniformed god!
Oh my goodness, thank you so much comes out of my mouth and I choke on the urge to cry.
I'm sorry.
I drive the rest of the way back just under the speed limit.
I owe the world big time Karma.
This Kid Cracks Me Up!
You know how I've always documented my youngest's cute words and sayings?If not, scroll through the posts labeled K-lish, it's her cute little language, err speech impediments, well...they're super cute.
Now that my girl is less than a month away from her 6th birthday she is still saying THE cutest stuff that puts a smile on my face.
**This morning, she was walking around with a puka shell necklace, you know the ones with the teeny shells, and was putting them up to her ear saying, "ooh, ooh, yep I can hear the ocean. It sounds little."
**Last night my husband was sacked out on the couch around 8pm per usual (he's a commuter now) and K says, "listen mom, dad's SNORTING!" Do you mean snoring honey? "oh yah that."
**When watching an upcoming movie trailer involving airplanes/war/bombing she says, "mom, is that about POOL HARPER?!" Who the what? "Where we went in Hawaii....pool harper, the sunken boat?" Ah Pearl Harbor.
**(on a related note) She watched the Ben Affleck movie Pearl Harbor over the holidays with my husband and asked questions incessantly about it!!
**She still says CAH-leats when talking about soccer shoes, which makes DQ laugh.
**Her favorite recent movie is the MUFFETS and wants a MUFFET birthday party. (Muppets)
**Her favorite song is currently "Forget You" by CeeLo but the Chicken version from the MUFFETS. Bok Bok Bok, bok bok, Bok Bok!
**Something new...well we finally came into the 21st century and bought a Wii for Xmas and well frankly our baby is a sore loser. She cries if no one lets her win. I think that's normal. Right?
Just to be clear, at this age My Boy had already been seeing the speech therapist at school, her teacher is not worried in the slightest.
Luckily K just has a cute way about her and is not at risk, in case you were wondering.
Um, About the Christmas Cards on my Desk...
Thanks to my friend Ana, she gave me fuel for a blog post.Last year's photo drama was the last of trying too hard.
I'm letting Christmas photos happen naturally.
And, by naturally, I mean I'm not going to force or bribe the kids to smile in pressured conditions.
And, I'm not going to sweat uncontrollably for one great shot that I won't spend hours photoshopping to make my daughter's smile look real.
This year, the Oahu backdrop was more than ideal.
The kids look natural...minus my son's slight imbalance and trying not to fall into the ocean fully clothed.
I worked with a fabulous company to make a super cool ornament card.
Ouila!
Okay, everything perfect right?!
Nope.
Here they are...
It's December 27.
They're not addressed.
They're not stamped.
They're. Not. Happening.
But, if anyone does want one, I'll leave them on the porch.
Just don't leave me a bag of flaming poop in return.
I Really Don't Hate Christmas
Wait it was just Thanksgiving, how is Christmas in 4 days?(insert panic attack here)
Like everyone at this point in the holiday season, I'm gathering the last of the gifts and wrapping like a maniac.
Every year I feel that the reason for the season gets more hidden below the layers of Santa paper and scotch tape.
Every year I say I want to adopt a family to buy for and hope that my kids understand that we have SO much that often goes unappreciated.
Every year I hope that one of my children says, "mom, please take everything you bought me and give it to a family who doesn't have the money to buy it for themselves."
Every year I wish for less stress and it doesn't come.
I'm normal right.
My kids deserve their gifts. They are wonderful kids, bright, loving, hard-working, so good at everything they try, I love getting them things that make their eyes light up with joy.
It's just the crowds, the traffic, the lines, the rush, the last minute, the cleaning, the prepping, the cooking, the build up...it's all so wild and crazy.
Curling up in bed with my iPhone and sleeping until January 1 sounds SO appealing.
Really though, I am blessed beyond words.
My blog has lead to my second blog that's lead to the most amazing opportunities I would have never imagined 10 years ago.
The fact that we will travel to our 3rd and 4th Hawaiian island in less than a year in February is beyond explanation.
The fact that my family is healthy, we have a home, and my husband has a job is a feat of it's own.
How do you feel this holiday??
I Believe I Can Fly!
Happy Turkey Eve!Going to get my stuffing on tomorrow, can't wait.
And by stuffing I mean I hate stuffing, so I mean stuffing my face, just to be clear.
Just wanted to post a couple of pics of our fun weekend to Catalina Island.
Saw Breaking Dawn in this here old casino...
Me Dangling.
5 zips and I survived and it was freaking cool!
I Have a TEEN!
"Where's my birthday post on your blog? You did one for everyone else!"
Well, usually she loathes when I speak of her on the blog.
I mean, she reads it, loves it, and laughs at it, but when I talk about her she often storms off in a huff about how I make her look.
Anyone who has had a teen or is in the throes of one now KNOWS what I mean.
We simply can't win as parents.
We love them, we give them their space, we applaud their accomplishments, we *try* to ignore their insults.
It's a slippery slope.
I've had ideas to make a video like I've done in the past, see here for her double-digits birthday.. http://www.themomjen.com/2008/11/in-last-decade.html
But, with the whole time thing, and the tears, and the time, I just didn't.
I did post a cute pic of her at 3 years old on FB on her special milestone 11-11-11 birthday.
"It has to have curls and not be ugly."
We did have a 7 hour party with 10 teens at the house with lots of soda, caffeine, candy, pizza, and Panda Express.
Surprising that no one puked.
We also had a sleepover with 3 girls that gave them 4.5 hours of sleep.
Then we shopped at a cool mall, but their exhaustion turned them into pumpkins at noon and they were zombies.
Then we went to the Cheesecake Factory for (more) soda, appetizers, lunch, and dessert.
Needless to say that the girls passed out cold on the way home.
So, no, I haven't come up with the best post or the baby-to big girl photo post for your birthday my dear daughter, but does this one work?
Maybe we can do that mall day all over again!
You're a beautiful 8th grader sweetheart, we all love you.
Holy crap I'm going to have a HIGH SCHOOLER next year.
Oh the posts will write themselves.
Selling Frogs and Fighting Crime: A Day at the Student Store
So my tween soon to be teen doesn't care for me to be on her turf.You know it's not cool to help in the classroom or within a 5 mile radius of it when you're in 8th grade.
Ooh big girl on campus can't have mommy around.
Truth is, I just gots to.
I have to work in some capacity to fulfill my hours at my daughter's magnet school.
It's in the rules dear, ha. I win.
Oh sorry. Childish.
But oh so fair.
Anyhoo. I chose to work at the student store.
Each week on Friday lunchtimes, myself and another volunteer sell Oriental Trading Co. and Windy City Novelties goodies to the young'uns.
It's a friggen hoot I tell you! The stories are hilarious and quick scary too.
-----------------------
--A student buys about 5 dollars worth of plastic frogs, pencils, and bouncy balls, BUSTED--used his lunch money.
--One boy comes each week and asks for free stuff. Dude, sorry.
--One boy prefaces, "it's for my mom" when he buys a pink alligator. Surrrrrre it is *coughcoughGIRLFRIENDcoughcough*
--Each Friday one student asks, "will you be here tomorrow, I'll pay you then...." no, tomorrow is Saturday and you won't be here either.
--Learned last week, "don't sell to the detention kids!" Dang, they're our biggest customers!
--Today a girl bought a second pair of deely-bobber headbands. What happened to first, "oh I sold them for $2 to a guy at the restaurant!" Are you going to sell this pair, "I don't know, maybe" (She bought them for $1! Entrepreneur in the making--I admire that.
--Lady pulls out a $50 bill and is ticked we don't have change. Um we aren't the bank.
--Vampire teeth are our best seller (will kids still wear them for Christmas??)
--We can't keep colored hair extensions in stock!
--We made $174 in a 2-hour spurt a few weeks back.
--Sorry parents, it was the same week as the book fair and um, I'm sure we outsold the library!
------------------------------------------
Then there's the part of the job that we don't care for, breaking up fights.
Today, in my super "used to be a teacher/yard duty/ now a mom" hero mode I ran and got in between two boys smacking the crap out of eachother.
Scary as heck because 1. they are only in 4th or 5th grade, and 2. because they were hitting HARD...oh and 3, my son is that age!!
Yard duty and supervision is minimal thanks to the stinking CA education budgets, so I stood between two crying boys for what seemed like an hour until my co-worked flagged down someone to escort these boys to the office.
I felt sick. One boy had a brace on his arm that has a metal strip through it. He smacked that kid hard in the head/face and I wanted to cry. I'm glad I was there, but if I wasn't who would have been?
Ugh. I hope that never happens again, and especially on my shift.
I'm ready for more funny stories and less drama.
Sigh. Another day at the student store.
