Even though he takes a home lunch every day.
Yes, that's right he eats two lunches a day.
Technically for free.
I know! (Monica voice)
So I'm sliding this $5 to you to keep quiet about this alright? Alright.
So the school lunch area has this table.
I call it the "free crap" table, My Boy says it's called the "share" table. Whatever.
It's for the stuff kids hate, that their parents make them eat (or not) and for the school lunches that other kids PAY for and don't want.
Daily I can imagine this table is covered with veggie sticks, cherry tomatoes, broccoli florets and fruit that us hopeless moms just fantasize our kids eating at school.
Newsflash: the only fruit 3rd graders eat is Fruit by the Foot.
What kid eats anything but Doritos and red Koolaid out of their sack anyway?
Oh, Koolaid is aging me, sorry...JUICE POUCH. Teeth rotters. Meal spoilers, you know what I mean.
So anyway, every day my son claims to finish his lunch and then stroll over to the leftover crap and have his 2nd helping.
One day he told me he ate FOUR cheeseburgers, and I asked, "at once??" and he replied, "no mom, I can only take one at a time!"
So he ate his bag lunch and then went back to the table 4 times.
I presume the lunch lady thinks the poor kid has a tape worm and just ignores it.
That's like $8 worth of school lunch, in one day!
Other days it's soft tacos, pudding, jello, corndogs.
We're literally saving hundreds of dollars all thanks to the dump table.
I'm proud of him for saving us money.
But if only he'd pick up some celery or salad sometime.
A mom can dream.
Luckily I found out those cheeseburgers are the mini-size so I don't have to worry about his hollow leg.
So I asked My Boy, do you ever leave anything at the table that you don't want, and he immediately shakes his head no, "I eat it all."
That's a lie. We find applesauce and peaches in his bag like twice a week. He doesn't leave it, he brings it back home. Brilliant.