By new and "job"...he means not the teaching profession I was briefly a part of before kids.
And, not the job of being a mom 24-7 that i've done for 11 years and 2 months, 3 days 14 hours, 29 minutes 4 seconds.
If I could be an apprentice somewhere, where would it be?
Back in 2002 when hubby punched his frequent flyer card in and out of Kaiser hospital, I wanted to be a nurse.
If somehow I could help him and my kids (and others) I wouldn't be such a worry wart about illness and germs and Crohn's Disease amongst other ailments.
When he came home with IV medication and PICC lines and TPN bags, I was oddly fascinated by how these things could be so scary yet so helpful in his time of need.
Needless to say, I didn't go to nursing school and I'm still terrified of blood, belonging to anyone even myself.
But, while reading the obituaries, I came upon my new AH HA moment and knew exactly what I want to do.
Did you ever watch the HBO show Six Feet Under? About a family who owned a funeral home and each episode started with how the person of the episode succumbed to their death!?
I loved that show.
Sure it gave me nightmares, made me very, very squeamish, and was horribly morbid.
But it's a view into to reality. A view of death that is real and that I fear.
Maybe facing that fear in this way would help me overcome it.
The whole funeral business....freakishly fascinating.
I wonder if I could go to my local funeral home and say, "I want to work here. For free. To learn the ropes." Would they say, you are nuts lady take a hike! ?
I will never forget going to a funeral when I was younger. It was of a few distant relatives killed in a car accident. The church service for the funeral was hot. Like sweating hot. So when we approached the casket I remember the scene so well. The woman's face was melting...I mean the layer of makeup applied was caking and literally dripping near the eye. It gave an eerie visual as if she were crying. I will NEVER forget that...and I still wonder what it's like to do a makeover on a corpse.
Is it something I could do? I'm not sure.
But, I think I want to find out.