I Don't Know What Hard Is.

There is a new girl in K's ballet and tap class.

She is the youngest, just turning 3 and has yet adjusted to being without mom for the hour long class.

K would come home every Wednesday morning and say, "My friend ran out of class again!"

Meaning she took off in search of mom.

Mom was usually right outside the door waiting.

The distraction affects all the girls, they are only 3 and 4 years old, so the stop and start gets a little frustrating for the dance teacher.

Mom tried to stay further away, but she'd cry and yell for her if she couldn't see her.

At first I thought, maybe she was just a tad young.

She's not used to being away from her mom, hasn't been in school setting, still learning to be around her peers (strangers).

Today I learned something new. We all did.

K's little friend has a brother with special needs. He is severely handicapped, in a wheelchair, and has an additional helper for the parents to get through each day.

I see why the mom looks harried each week.

I began to think about all the work, effort, and stress that goes on in their lives on a daily basis and feel that just the simple running out of a ballet class is the least of the mom's worries.

I began to think about how lucky I am to be a parent of 3 able children. I feel the guilt of sometimes feeling overwhelmed at my own life, when I don't even know how this lady must feel.

Getting into our car as we left, K noticed the families' van's ramp.

"What is that mom?!"

It's a ramp for your friend's brother's wheelchair.

"Why does he have that?"

His legs and body don't work like ours do.

And I could see the look on her face like she was absorbing it all in.

I know the lady would not want me to feel sorry for her, and truly I don't.

I feel sorry for me. I don't appreciate how easy my life can be.

12 supporters in group:

  1. kristi said...

    I have a son with autism and we did therapy for awhile. The first time I saw a 13 year old boy named Michael having such a hard time just walking, I counted my blessings. When I saw this same boy drink from a bottle, I lost it. I mean I REALLY lost it.

    It is tough but you deal with it because that is your child. My son is the love of my life.

  2. Anonymous said...

    I know the lady would not want me to feel sorry for her, and truly I don't.

    I feel sorry for me. I don't appreciate how easy my life can be.

    - I love this..... thanks!

  3. Michelle said...

    Amen sister!

    I sometimes have ah ha moments like this that put my own struggles back into perspective.

  4. Martha said...

    I always think of those types of circumstances when I complain about the normal parenting woos of a tween - soon to be teen. That does not make those situations less trying at the time, but in the end I am thankful that it is just normal parenting!

    I count my blessings every day!

  5. Adoption of Jane said...

    As a mother with a Special Needs Child I say.. Don't you EVER feel sorry for you, you should feel sorry only if you found out the situation and didn't give a damn and still complained! Those are the Mothers that make our life a living hell. Thank you for noticing and Educating your child, you contributed to our Community Greatly!! Stand up and give yourself a pat on the back!

  6. Ann Harrison said...

    Beautifully put.

    Great post.

  7. Paige said...

    Great post. And Im so glad you handled it that way with your daughter--you just saved a whole batch of kids from another insensitive person. good work!

  8. Keyona said...

    You are right. I have to often remind myself that someone always has it harder. Thanks for the gentle reminder.

  9. Me said...

    Our neighbor across the street has a severely disabled son who is about five. As often as possible during the summer and good weather, he is in his wheelchair outside enjoying the sun, etc. My little one--who is 3 1/2--will go up and talk to him. He doesn't and can't answer her, but she still goes and says hi and sometimes just chats. She has asked me before why he is in a chair and I keep it simple. But it has been awhile since he has been out--I wonder what will happen this year--will she still be as innocent and want to talk to him? I hope so.

    I know that it is hard, but his parents don't seem to let it affect them. I've been there while they are giving him food through the feeding tube and they just keep talking to you as if it is normal everyday life--which for them it is. The dad, who seems so stern and hard on his other son, drops to his knees when he gets home at night and talks to him like his buddy. It is really endearing to watch.

    I agree with you--I don't appreciate my life enough--thank you for this post to remind me to do it!

  10. Mc Allen said...

    aww, awesome post. My 15 year old has aspergers ( although most people ould never know it)and it is a challange, but she is such a special girl~ whom I love a bunch. I always wonder what it will be like when she has to think for herself and make her way in the world. Thankfully she belings to my Heavenly Father and He will watch out for her. and u r right, she wouldnt want you feeling sorry for her~ I bet she loves her life (maybe just not all the time, lol) and wouldnt change a thing! Hugs, LA

  11. Anonymous said...

    My Boy Child has special needs and the resentment and annoyance I received from all the mothers at the dance studio when Diva was taking lessons was gut wrenching. I arrived early so that I could position his stroller (he was not yet 2 at the time) in just the right spot so no one would be annoyed but Diva could still see me through the glass wall but yet it wasn't enough for them. So I thank you for this post and for your attitude. :)

  12. Mel Fraase said...

    I think no matter what we all feel exasperated sometimes. I realized how good I had it about 6 weeks ago!! I know what you mean!

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