I Want to be a Man. Sorta.

What? It isn't normal to cover your grey hair with mascara?

I mean...err..

I don't do that.


Preschool Thursday and I went out and bought hair color. Garnier Nutrisse. I have no idea what that translates to. Probably, "go to a professional, dumbass."

Like women don't have enough to do to take care of themselves. Stupid tampons, pads, acne cream (yes at age 37...again not normal?!), scalp oil, brazillian waxes (LOL), leg and pit shaving, tweezing, threading, yanking, poking, invasive exams....AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Men have it easy I tell you.

So I'm mixing the potion, getting a little high from the smell, and I start applying it to my hair.

A few minutes into it, I look at the mixture and it's PURPLE. I have a panic attack and imagine going to K's class performance tonight in a hat.

PURPLE. Not like dark purple red, but bright lavender purple. I take off my good glasses and find my backups. Not ready for purple frames yet.

WHY did I not just call Dana and make a damn appointment for a cut and color?

Because I'm trying to save money, remember the old 20% pay cut.

Okay, I'm breathing through this. I do the roots and tell myself this is completely normal.

I beg for help on Twitter and get reassurance. It's normal for the mix to turn colors, even purple when you're going for a "reddish brown."

Just as I'm ready to rinse and shower, I do one last Twitter check and someone says, "STOP NOW, DON'T DO IT!" I'm ready to puke. Thanks, where were you 30 minutes ago?

I envision purple, grey, and black hair and I start to sweat.

Rinsing my hair in the tub I see the water turn a freakish red color and consider Googling "wigs" when I get to the computer.

Why do we do this to ourselves in the name of beauty.

Or in my case, not having grey skunk stripes and to stop having people ask if I just got some new funky highlights.

Drying my hair, I breathe a sigh of relief...looks normal-ish. Didn't have to panic after all.

Just don't look too close.
I do have that "just dyed my hair" stench about me though...going to have to go around TELLING everyone I colored before they catch a whiff of me downwind.

...all in the name of being female.

I wish I was a man.

8 supporters in group:

  1. Carri said...

    Definitely framing the face and yes it is normal for the dye to change colors since it oxidizes in the air. But I assume you already know all is well as your hair does not resemble Barney or any other purple thing.

  2. Merrie said...

    Just remember...if you were a man...you'd have to be a MAN! No thanks!
    Your hair turned out gorgeous! I'm still holding off on coloring, despite all the silver that has declared itself permanent. The blonde hides it a little, right? RIGHT??!!

    I'm kidding myself.

  3. Jennifer said...

    Yes... the things we do for beauty. I used to color my hair myself too and was always horrified at the purple hue, but it always came out good in the end. Now, I have it done, and I always take a peek at the little bowl before my stylist puts it on my hair and it is always a nice technicolor shade. And, yes, the pimples are normal too. I wasn't expecting it either. I am 37 as well and lately have had breakouts of epic proportions, coupled with dry skin... WHAT? How do you treat massive, Mt Vesuvius sized pimples that actually have dry, peeling skin ON TOP of the pimple? That's just wrong.

  4. Patrice said...

    It really is unfair all that we have to put ourselves through especially compared to men. Ugh! But I think your hair looks great!!

  5. Casey said...

    I've been coloring my hair myself for the last few months, too...it's not the same as going to the salon, but since Maddie continues to request 3 meals a day, I've sucked it up and become a do-it-yourself-er.

    I didn't know about the mascara trick. Must try. And I think it looks great in the pic. I don't smell a thing! ;)

  6. sheila said...

    lol! I think it looks good!

  7. Nice to meet you, my name is Speed Bumpie said...

    If you were a man, you might not have any hair to dye. Gotz me plenty o' friends at 37 with nearly nada.

    There is a rumor that I hope is true that when you're hair turns gray you stop losing it. Now I pray for gray hair! Bring it!

  8. seemommyknit said...

    I looks great!!!! And just think-if you were a man, you'd have to shave EVERY day!! ugh!

Related Posts with Thumbnails