I don't do that.
Preschool Thursday and I went out and bought hair color. Garnier Nutrisse. I have no idea what that translates to. Probably, "go to a professional, dumbass."
Like women don't have enough to do to take care of themselves. Stupid tampons, pads, acne cream (yes at age 37...again not normal?!), scalp oil, brazillian waxes (LOL), leg and pit shaving, tweezing, threading, yanking, poking, invasive exams....AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Men have it easy I tell you.
So I'm mixing the potion, getting a little high from the smell, and I start applying it to my hair.
A few minutes into it, I look at the mixture and it's PURPLE. I have a panic attack and imagine going to K's class performance tonight in a hat.
PURPLE. Not like dark purple red, but bright lavender purple. I take off my good glasses and find my backups. Not ready for purple frames yet.
WHY did I not just call Dana and make a damn appointment for a cut and color?
Because I'm trying to save money, remember the old 20% pay cut.
Okay, I'm breathing through this. I do the roots and tell myself this is completely normal.
I beg for help on Twitter and get reassurance. It's normal for the mix to turn colors, even purple when you're going for a "reddish brown."
Just as I'm ready to rinse and shower, I do one last Twitter check and someone says, "STOP NOW, DON'T DO IT!" I'm ready to puke. Thanks, where were you 30 minutes ago?
I envision purple, grey, and black hair and I start to sweat.
Rinsing my hair in the tub I see the water turn a freakish red color and consider Googling "wigs" when I get to the computer.
Why do we do this to ourselves in the name of beauty.
Or in my case, not having grey skunk stripes and to stop having people ask if I just got some new funky highlights.
Drying my hair, I breathe a sigh of relief...looks normal-ish. Didn't have to panic after all.
Just don't look too close.
TELLING everyone I colored before they catch a whiff of me downwind.
...all in the name of being female.
I wish I was a man.