Where Nearing 40 is FOWL!

Do you ever catch a glimpse of yourself and go, WTF?!

Looking straight on in the mirror, I don't see it.

In my bathroom, I have this super-glass that makes me look good.

Then I get in natural sunlight.

I catch myself in my iPhone backwards camera.

Or I see a picture of myself and go, ummm  WHAT IS THAT?!

Case in point...
Yes, I know. 

My hair looks fabulous.

That's not what I'm talking about here.

Sure, I'm making a dorky face.

That's normal.  I can't smile for the camera, ever.

But, what the frack is that gobbly turkey crap going on with my neck?

Where did that come from, I don't remember that being there.

And, why didn't anyone mention it?

Man, pushing 40 is taking a toll.

First my locks are turning 50 shades of gray!

I can't go more than 4 weeks without dying my roots, that shit is outta control.

Help.

No seriously. 

Now this neck-a-ma-bob.

It's close to Thanksgiving, I do not want to be mistaken for the main dish!

18 supporters in group:

  1. Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

    Girl, I hate that we get that thing there. So stinking annoying! I feel like I need to hire someone to hold it up. LOL

  2. Carol said...

    Not to be a downer or anything, but you got nothing to complain about! Just wait - just wait - it continues. The time will come when you look only at the part of you you must see when in front of a mirror - like one eyebrow at a time as you pencil them in, the eyelashes only when you mascara them in, your lips when you lipstick them in - never around the rest of the face and neck. You train yourself to consider each wrinkle a mark of character, a sign of a life lived. And then you go to a dark corner and cry.

  3. DysFUNctional Mom said...

    The other night my 16 yo daughter tickled my neck and said "gobble gobble!"
    She is pure evil.

  4. BeeBubbaBella said...

    I couldn't help but laugh at the neck-a-ma-bob. I hope to age as gracefully as my Mom (and start by stop having kids and getting rid of this double chin lol)

  5. Tami Vollenweider said...

    I guess I really don't take a lot closer up view of myself!My husband recently made a comment about how much gray hair I got!Boy! I think it's time for a touch up!

    tamilynn59@yahoo.com

  6. Yona Williams said...

    The hair does look fabulous. I guess, different things happen to different people because my hair is prematurely graying (and has been for a couple of years now) and I am 34. THAT is driving me crazy.

  7. deanna said...

    ha ha ha
    I often make those "what the heck...don't want to make that face again!" comment about my photos.
    xoxo

  8. sandy1955 said...

    LOL, LOL...oh, I like you already and I'm new here. You made me laugh so early in the morning reading this. Don't worry ab out the neck, you look awesome! But it sure was funny reading it....lol
    Sandy VanHoey

  9. Melinda Dartman said...

    I know how you feel! I'm nearing the 50 and feel like I wish I could win the fricken Lotto, just so I can get a face lift and a tummy tuck and maybe a boob lift too! Why the hell does gravity have to drag my shit down? I got grey hair and I'm tired of dying it, crows feet and laugh lines, my ass is starting to sag and I seriously could sleep for 14 hours a day. I'm tiring of this shit too! COME ON LOTTO!!!! MAMA Needs a new body!!!

  10. Sue Hull said...

    You're beautiful and still young!I'm 48 and have 48 chins,LOL!! ok maybe not that many.They say the neck shows how old you really are but I that's not always true.Say Goldie Hawn(whom I love) she has the oldest neck I've ever seen.She should get a lift.She's cute but her neck is aging before the rest of her.I do totally get that whold neck thing. I look at myself and think I'm not a turkey so where did that gobble thing come from?! That's what my 4 yr old neice calls it. LOL!!
    If you put your head back and open and close your mouth that's supposed to tighten chin and neck muscles.:)

  11. windycindy said...

    I found that turning 50 was difficult for me...Now, that I
    am 56, I am feeling pretty good
    about this age thing!
    Cindi
    jchoppes[at]hotmail[dot]com

  12. kelly1980777 said...

    you may be 40 but you look great

  13. pinktaz60 said...

    Betsy Rubendall Barnes
    pinktaz60@hotmail.com

    I'm like you when it comes to dying my roots. I really have no idea what color my natural color is and at my age, I don't want to know, lol :)

  14. Amy V said...

    lol it's so easy to see flaws in ourselves, isn't it? But honestly, that's nothing!! You are a pretty woman and unfortunately in this day and age women (myself included!) rarely see themselves and are ok with how we look.

  15. 1955nurse said...

    Ahhh the JOYS of geting older! I try to remember what my Grandfather used to tell me: "The alternative to NOT getting older isn't so great, because it means you're DEAD!" Girl, just try to think of it like this: We're NOT getting older, we're getting better all the time, LOL! (HollyC)

  16. LStewart said...

    LOL ... I can so relate. I didn't have the 'waddle' issue when I was BIG and I certainly didn't look my age. I just looked like a beached whale. That pales now in comparison to the excess skin issue. Don't get me wrong, the weight loss has been a lifesaver ... I just have waddles ... everywhere!!

  17. sharon cowles said...

    Your still a beautiful young woman.. I give you kudos for for keeping your sense of humor.. I am 54 with 5 grown kiddos and 10 grandies.. I'm not getting older I'm becoming more mature...LOL.. love your musings about family and life
    sharon cowles
    fishinginthefog at g mail dot com

  18. VickeC said...

    as we get older things tend to shift southward,,lol,,,everybody part I have has done the shifting,,maybe a daily dose on standing on my head would help,but im afraid id get stuck that way,lmao

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