I Was Carded TWICE in One Night

The first was the run of the mill "can I see your I.D. ma'am?" at the Long's while buying cheapo-wine (label was terrible too). I gave the checker a little giggle as I handed her my ugly-fat-9-months-preggo-photo card and threw a uh-huh look at Hubby standing behind me.

He rolled his eyes. Yeah give me a break, just because he was never carded in college when he was SEVENTEEN-21 and had a full beard. Oh oops, honey, did I just say that?!

Then she asks, "do you mind if I run your card?" Huh? I was never asked that before, and especially not for a $4.99 bottle of wine. Sure, I guess, why not. So we stroll out and i'm giddy from looking...well young-ish. It was probably because I didn't have the 3 kids with me and I wasn't sweating, i'm sure.

As we walked down the street, a sweet 'ol bum made a comment that Hubby had a pretty lady on his arm. Aw. Tonight is MY night. I got carded and was called pretty by a transient. I was so beaming with pride.

Yeah, well.

Hubby and I get in the car and head to the hotel where his conference is being held. I notice like many other times, I'm breaking out in hives. Must be all the flattery. I realize my Claritin is in the back of the car in my suitcase. I unbuckle myself and climb the seats like a monkey to the back and grab my meds. Just as soon as I climb back to the front we pass a cop. He is looking right at me and i'm sure he ain't thinking i'm pretty at that moment.

We drive on and since the policeman was headed the opposite direction, I see him flipping a U in the rear-view mirror. SHIT.

Hubby rolls his eyes again and says, "his lights are on."

We pull over and the cop introduces himself and tells us the obvious. "I pulled you over because YOU [shooting daggers at me] didn't have your seatbelt on." I nod that it is all true and apologize. He continues, "at first I thought you were tending to a child behind you, then I realize the carseat is empty." He takes MY license and our car reg. and walks back to his car. I apologize to Hubby and he laughs.

"He took your license not mine. YOU are busted!" Gee, thanks.
"So if I was tending to the kids, it would be okay?!" I ask Hubs.
"Maybe?"

The cop returns to my side of the car and states that he's letting me go this time. I apolgize and thank him furiously. "There are a lot of crazy drivers and senior citizens in these parts [monterey/pacific grove], you need to be careful. If one hits you and you're climbing in the car, you could get hurt." I nod and thank him again.

Phew. Crisis and fine averted.

I asked Hubby, what would they have done if I was on Reno 911? And, without missing a beat, "full-cavity-search for sure."

48 supporters in group:

  1. Merrie said...

    How come when I get pulled over there's never a question of my getting a ticket? WTF?
    And he's right about the old people in that area -- I know about 8 of them, and they suck behind the wheel.

    It's good to be you -- cute and young. And I mean that.

  2. Vicki said...

    ROFL!!! That had me rolling!! I'm SOOO with you - there is NOTHING better than being carded baby!!! WOOHOO!!!! LOL!! (Hey it's the little things in life!!) :)
    Oh man, I can't tell you how many times I crawl around in the back of the van or the truck looking for something. Thankfully I've never been "caught"!! Weird that he took your license.
    (Too funny about the full body cavity search!)
    Thanks for the laugh today!! :)

  3. Alice said...

    OK - this has nothing to do with your story, but the Reno 911 part. I honestly watched the funniest part of that show EVER and just cried on my bed. Have you seen the one where they're trying to catch Thai food folks giving BJ's after delivery? If you haven't - WATCH IT!

  4. ali said...

    LOL! You know, I was a little offended the other night at Ruby Tuesday when the waiter asked if I'd like a beer/wine. I asked hubby "do I look old enough to drink?" He was smart enough to not answer that!

  5. Amy said...

    I was carded at a casino 2 years ago and I was so flattered! The cop thing I would surely be upset about, glad you 'got away'.. :)

  6. Kristen Andrews said...

    that is too funny doesn't it figure the one time you climb over the seat you get caught! I love when I get carded, I always say thank you to the clerk!

  7. ugagirl30 said...

    You just gotta love those coppers "looking out" for us. He probably just wanted to see whose butt was in the air, which in and of itself, could be considered a compliment.

  8. Jaime H. said...

    Congrats on being carded! I never get carded!

    Too funny about the cop. reminds me of the Friends episode when Rachel is driving Monica's porsche.

  9. Clare Frederick said...

    If the kids are with me, I won't get carded, but if not, then I will. I'd like to think they don't ask with kids, because they figure I have enough on my hands and shouldn't be messed with.

    And as for your wine selection...was it Barefoot??? They've been receiving a ton of awards, and are about $4.99/bottle. I am such a Barefoot fan...when I'm watching my wallet.

  10. McMommy said...

    SWEET!! I love being carded. My best ever was a couple of weeks ago when I got carded for a LOTTO TICKET! I don't look even EIGHTEEN?!?! I think she was blind.

  11. Kelly said...

    Oh how awesome..being carded, escaping fines and compliments from a hobo..sounds like a good night to me. :)

  12. Smart A$$ Mom said...

    I never minded being carded if I was buying booze, now if I was picking up a pack of cigarettes I would get so pissed. I mean, fine, maybe I look like I am 20. But I KNOW I don't look 17!!

  13. Heather at A Boy, A Girl, & A Pug said...

    I just LOVE it when I get carded! Congrats to you!

    I can't believe you got out of a ticket and didn't even have to show clevage:)

  14. Christina said...

    What a night! Getting carded and compliments are all very well and good, but escaping a ticket?! Wow, you are GOOD!

  15. Mrs4444 said...

    Hooray! See how all that good karma helps you out!?

  16. Shannon said...

    You young, hot mama you!!! Getting carded like a young thing - I love it!! Nice that the cop gave you a break . . . didn't he have bigger crimes to chase down - give me a break!!!

  17. Brittany said...

    Ok, this was so funny, I don't even know where to begin!

    I think my favorite is how giddy you were after the transient undressing you with his eyes:)

    maybe if you had been climbing around in a short skirt the cop wouldn't have stopped you!

  18. Sue said...

    Dude, if I had to spend the night in jail, I would have been doing the "I got carded" happy dance.

  19. Caroline said...

    So funny! I love getting carded at the grocery store...I am pretty sure they do it as a joke just to make me feel better...

  20. Crazed Mom said...

    Small world. I have a friend who lives in PG.

    Doncha hate it when a cop nails you but when you see 60 speeders or someone texting and driving??

  21. Ann said...

    Yeah for the first carding!
    Boo to the next.
    I can't believe he pulled you over for that?!?
    That's nice, and caring and all, but geez...
    Good thing you didn't have your little brown bag by your side!

  22. Genny said...

    I got carded recently and was so excited. "You made my day," I told the guy behind the counter. "We are supposed to card anyone who looks under 40," he says. Talk about taking the wind out of my sails! LOL.

  23. Jenny said...

    Hoooo! That's good stuff! Congrats on getting carded, and a compliment's a compliment...right? Even if it's from a homeless man??? The cop thing is just kind of irritating to me...I think someone above also said the same kind of thing. Never mind the reckless driving while texting, or the speed demons...lets pull over the *young looking* Mom who's digging for Claritin. Never fails.

  24. mollybloom said...

    I love getting carded! I actually got carded w/ Ellie in tow on Sunday----woo hoo, I must look like a youthful teenage mom who gave birth at age 14! Or so I like to think----

    Maybe you got pulled over b/c the cop thought there was funny business going on in the car ;)

  25. Debbie said...

    Hi "Mom!" Thanks for stopping by the other day...I have seen your cute picture around but never realized you were the Cheaper Than Therapy girl...Duh...should have clicked on over awhile ago. And sadly, I haven't been carded lately by anyone who wasn't just looking for a good tip!

  26. Mel @ A Box of Chocolates said...

    Cograts on being carded! I have to admit that it's been awhile. What a nice cop to let you go. I'm never that lucky. Then again I am usually getting pulled over for flying by the cop. I enjoyed reading this post and getting a chuckle.

  27. Kaza said...

    Wow, what a night of ups and downs! I get SO excited when I get carded. I'm almost 41 and it still happens now and again.

    And glad you escaped the full cavity search. ;)

  28. Kate said...

    hahahahahahahaha.......oh uh ahem. hmmm, oh what a night!!! :D you youngin you....

  29. Jill said...

    I love that you were carded! And the copy let you off with just a warning... you were definitely HOT to trot that night!

  30. Rebecca a.k.a. Mum said...

    You young thang you...of course you would be carded and called pretty...girl you ARE pretty woman!!

    I don't get carded anymore, I guess the old age is creepin up on my now. :(

  31. Chelle said...

    Don't you LOVE being carded?! I used to hate it, but I act all happy and proud to be carded now, lol!
    And way to get out of a ticket, too! You sure are a hot momma :)

  32. ciara said...

    as young as i have always looked, i have NEVER gotten out of a ticket. lol be grateful you didn't grow up w my problem...when i was in 9th grade people thought i was in 7th. when i worked in a casino and was heading up towards my mid to late 30's and customers knew it was my birthday, they thought i was just barely old enough to work there. i guess it can be flattering SOMETIMES, but the part i hate most is that people always talk to me like i don't know anything. they think they're older than me and know more...i'm usually AT LEAST 10 yrs older than them!

    and lmao @ reno 911 comment.

    p.s. i voted/clicked :)

  33. Tenakim said...

    So jealous that you got carded, but LOL at 9mos preggo- I have the same, but I've never changed my weight- SINCE I WAS 16! So my pic, I'm 9 mos preggers, my license says I'm 100lbs (I know, but I'm small boned gal) and in real life, well, I'm not 100 lbs.

  34. John Deere Mom said...

    What were you wearing, woman? Pass me some of that! I never get carded and I ALWAYS get a ticket. Sheesh. Some people.

  35. flickrlovr said...

    A) aren't our homeless guys sweet?
    B) of COURSE you got carded. you're a spring chicken, and you are young and gawjuss at that!
    C) we DO have a hecka lotta old fogies that shouldn't be driving around, driving around in these here parts...
    D) our police force has nothing better to do than make u-turns and give tickets (you got lucky with that warning, our cops are notorious for being a bit ticket-happy).

    all in all, sounds like it was a good evening ;)

  36. Such The Spot said...

    I LOVE getting carded. What I don't love is when I'm at the store with two of my four children and my young looking husband purchasing (among our $200 worth of groceries) a bottle of wine and they refuse to sell it to me if my husband doesn't produce his ID too.

    Swear that has happened. Hubby never brings his wallet so I was screwed and boy was I flamin' mad. You just don't get in between this girl and her wine, kwim?

    I wrote a letter and the store manager ended up giving me a $25 gift card which I promptly used on two bottles of wine. And guess what. They didn't card him that time!

  37. Sogeshirtsguy said...

    lmao that was funny. The line its my day i got called pretty by a transient was comedy gold.

  38. Rochelle said...

    That is hilarious. You got out of the ticket without crying OR flashing your cleavage??? Good skills! :+)

  39. Mekhismom said...

    Hilarious! I am glad you welcomed me because I love your blog!

  40. Kim said...

    I love that you ask your husband what they would have done on Reno 911 - how funny is that show?

    Found your blog over at McMommy's POW, you are too funny - I'll be back.

  41. Darleen said...

    okay, so while i found your post an absolute hoot!! When you said Monterey/Pacific Grove all I wanted to say was, "oh, take me! take me!!!" I am so jealous! I love that area and yes, there are lots of crazy old people, so no more taking off the seatbelt missy!

  42. The White House said...

    Oh, there is nothing better than getting carded (at least when you are buying wine)! What a great night, getting carded, getting complimented and getting a warning instead of a ticket...

  43. Carol said...

    Sounds like the best night ever!

  44. Mamasphere said...

    I'm 32 and never get carded anymore. I think I need to go for some skin therapy. Yeah, it must be the skin (and not that I look old).

  45. McMommy said...

    Love that you picked this one for POW!

  46. Tim said...

    Thanks for playing along at Oldies but Goodies!

    This was a great post, and Im so glad that you didnt get a ticket.

    Carey climbs all over the back of our Expedition when we are on long trips.

    Love and Prayers,

    Tim

  47. Auntie E said...

    Now that funny, never heard of someone being pulled over for a passenger not wearing a seat belt, I thought maybe he thought you were mooning him,lol. I use to live in Pacific Grove, Does that make me a crazy driver, cause I'm a Senior citizen now, so my daughter tells me,lol.:-)

  48. Deanna Watson said...

    Crazy night. I was asked for ID when I was buying rubber cement for an art project once. Weird.
    xo

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