Shh...If You're Quiet, They'll Go Away (2.0)

Bringing back one of my early posts. This one dates back to March 7, 2008.

I don't know why this bugs me so much, but I was harassed by a door-t0-door solicitor today!

The second time in 2 weeks!

Even when I fashion a sign in bold letters stating, NO SOLICITORS and put it in our window right next to the door, they still ring the bell! Maybe they can't read?! Maybe they don't care.

I wouldn't care so much if I lived alone. I just wouldn't answer the door. But when you have kids, the ding-dong of the bell is like a track-meet gunshot signifying the start of the race--who can get to the door the fastest.

I usually don't allow the kids to open the door without me right there. But, there's that window with half-torn-down vertical blinds. When they all hit the door with a thud, they scramble the blinds in different contortions to peek and see who it is!

*Kids if you're reading this, the blinds have a pull-string....oh nevermind! Now, I have to open the door.

What I want to do is point to the sign in the window and say nothing more, but I never do it.

They just begin their speil about the carpet spray that also removes driveway oil stains, and promise that I will be awe-stricken when their presentation is over! UGH! How many times can I say, "sorry we're not interested!" before they can give up?

Four times today actually.

'But i'm trying to win a trip to Florida.....' they tell me in their saddest voice, 'I only need one more contract.'

Don't guilt me....you're not a cute little girl in a brown or green vest selling cookies (By the way, I ALWAYS open the door for them! mmm...thin mints). Once I was putting K in the carseat of my car and the garage door was up and they walked right up to me and started on with their speech.
Are you kidding me? Can you see I'm on my way somewhere?

I proceed to get in my car and the guy is still talking!

"I'm sorry i'm LEAVING!"

'Too bad for me,' he says! No, because you'll just go to the next house and harass them...I'll stew on this all day and then go write about it in my blog!

Too bad for me.

50 supporters in group:

  1. Amanda said...

    UGH! I hate it when they're so pushy like that. I've even told them if they would have been polite, maybe I would have been interested. But then again, I'm a mean witch when it comes to things like that. But, the girls in the green and brown vests are ALWAYS welcome at my house. Mmmmmm.....Trefoils (or whatever they call the shortbread cookies nowadays).

  2. Sabrae said...

    Can you believe the nerve of some guys! LOL! Once we had a kirby guy come to the door (had to be about 20 years old) and it was a friday night. We were all getting ready to head out for a night on the town. And my best friend (being the sly devil that she is) told the kirby guy that we would let him in to do his spiel if and only if he would take a shot every 5 minutes with her! LOL Mind you my best friend was a drinker and could hold her own... So being the desperate man that he was and wanting to prove to us that Kirby was the way to go he agreed... Well needless to say my best friend held him to it... And by the time he left he was drunk and we never had a sales person from Kirby at our door again! I know that sounds really bad but it was really funny!

  3. Jay @halftime lessons said...

    LOL we have a sign, too...

  4. Baseballs and Tutu's said...

    I hate that while they're there they ask about all of your neighbors...who has kids and who doesn't what age they are and whatnot!!! Ugh!!!

  5. Braja said...

    What a first visit :) I did exactly the same post on my blog a few days back: you'll totally relate to the Indian version of your story, "Honey I Killed the Salesman."

    http://lostandfoundinindia.blogspot.com/2008/11/honey-i-killed-salesman.html

  6. Brittany said...

    I have had an onslaught of this lately! i am SO making a sign. Frozen boxes of meat, magazines, cleaners....NO! Stop making me answer the door looking like crap. I don't care that you want to go to Cancun, here is my tip...it will probably be a second rate trip in some seedy hotel. Get a real job, save up, and buy your self a nice trip somewhere where you don't have to fly on a plane full of goats and cargo.

  7. jill jill bo bill said...

    I despise them as well!!! Hilarious visual on the kids trying to see who is at the door. My kids did/do the same thing!!!

  8. Sass said...

    I can't stand the ones that come to the door and tell me they're working on making presentations for their leadership class. Dude, you're like 37. Whatev.

  9. georgie said...

    This hits a chord with me I have 2 NO soliciting signs one on the glass door one under the doorbell-
    wanna know what they say to me???

    They say Hi ma;am i am NOT selling anything just trying to win a trip...LOL....so i ask are you wanting me to buy something for you to win this trip and they says YES and I point to the signs....drives me friggin batty!!!

    sorry for the rant i feel your pain LOL

  10. Stephanie said...

    I once had a woman stop at my house everyday for 2 weeks even though I told her I wasn't interested. She was with a church and just wouldn't give up....until the day I introduced her to a friend of ours that was also a youth pastor....he asked her so many questions that I think her head was still spinning when she left. I never saw her again after that....the best part is noone was rude to her in any way, shape or form. ;) Sometimes it gets frustrating though....can we read?...NO SOLICITATION!

  11. The White Family said...

    I literally had to disconnect my door bell when I was home on maternity leave for 12 weeks. It's unreal how many salesmen stop by my house when they saw a car in the drive way. Drove me insane!!!! I even locked my storm door so they couldn't knock on the acutal door. I feel your pain honey!!

  12. April said...

    The very few times people come to my house to sell crap they usually don't get out of the car. We have a lab and a boxer outside and people ask 'Do they bite?' I think to myself 'they might lick you to death but not bite' but usually say 'they just might'. And then they drive away. Good dogs.

  13. Average Girl In Average World said...

    I like the sign idea.

    Too bad for you is right! lol...

  14. Laurie said...

    Wow, I rarely get people at my door like that. How intrusive! The easiest way to make them go away is no matter what they're selling you have a family member who sells that too (i.e - if someone is selling magaziznes - sorry my daughter sells then as fundraiser for school. If someone is selling replacement window - sorry, my brother does that and I have to support him, etc.)

    It works with telemarketers, so I'm assuming it would work with dooe to door salemen. Good Luck!

  15. Chelle said...

    That's the worst!

    Especially when they are so pushy. I just want to say, um, now your being an a-hole. Do you really think I'll buy from you now?!

  16. ali said...

    Since we moved out of the suburbs we don't have this problem anymore, thankfully! And I love the "oldies-but-goodies" idea!

  17. Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

    Wow...how uncomfortable for you. I used to feel sorry for them, till I read a story about how those sad stories they give are just that...stories. I had one guy selling magazines, I was sold, till I looked in the checkbook, and told the guy how I couldn't do what I had said..boy did his tone change...about 10 mins after he left, I cancelled my check, and sent a letter to the "company"...ugh.

  18. April said...

    ooooh, i HATE solicitors. they always hit us during naptime. Grrrr.

  19. manic mariah said...

    SO ANNOYING! I hate it when my kids open the door and I'm all hiding out in the corners...afraid of the solicitor

  20. Soccer Mom said...

    I absolutely LOATHE door-to-door salespeople. I had one on my front porch when I got home one day and when I opened the garage to pull my car in, he walked right into my garage and stood next to the car waiting for me to get out! I looked him dead in the eye and told him I was going to call the police if he didn't get the hell off my property that instant. They just keep getting bolder and bolder.

  21. Tasha said...

    My kids know the drill when a solicitor knocks on our door: hurry up and run to the other side of the house so they dont see or hear us....cause we're not home! The Mormon boys (bless their hearts) are always out hoping to save me. :P

  22. JLT6907 said...

    Jen, i so know what you are goin thru. My dh isn't home all week, and he got fed up with me bitching about all these solicitors that just wouldn't take no for an answer. he made a sign, big bold letters and it says: NO SOLICITING. NO MAGAZINES. NO SALES!!!

  23. Dee said...

    OH NO! That does stink! Evan now runs to the door because he thinks whoever is out there will let him go outside! BEFORE he was able to get around, they always seemed to come during his nap and ring the doorbell! UGH! Don't they know I have a baby...DONT WAKE THE BABY! And I'd have to answer the door to get the doorbell to stop ringing!

  24. Jo-Jo said...

    Luckly we live on a hill...no one really walks up it to sell me anything! Only vistors I get are the nice young boys in black pants, white shirts and back packs! LOL!

  25. Lee the MWOB Queen said...

    Have you ever had a door-to-door salesman come to your door selling beef? I swear, that is what happens in our LA neighborhood and it ALWAYS freaks me out when he arrives knocking on my door with his little white truck of frozen meat parked on the street. Is this a normal thing to be selling door to door?

  26. Kelly said...

    i hate this! i said no. it's not like saying "aww, come on!" is going to suddenly make me say "on second though, sure!". and badgering me isn't going to make me want to buy it any more than before. i could go on and on... ugh!

  27. Noob Mommy said...

    Gotta love those thin mints & girl scouts! We don't get them here in our neighborhood, except for at the grocery stores. And I will track them down!
    I hate those telemarketing messages that actually have the nerve to call and be an automated call that asks you to call them back! Are they kidding?

  28. Krystyn said...

    I thought of putting up a sign at our old house...that stinks that it doesn't work. I only like the kids with food coming by, too!

  29. Kelly said...

    Ms. Jen, I nominated you for a blog award. Should you choose to accept, you can find the info here: http://macaroniandglue.blogspot.com/2008/11/oh-boy-oh-boy-somebody-thinks-im.html

  30. tollesons4him said...

    UGGHHH I can't stand door to door salesmen. They grate on my ever last nerve!!!

  31. Linda S said...

    times like these I wish I could puke on cue. but even that probably wouldn't make them leave...seriously...

  32. ciara said...

    i, too, just stay quiet & let them go away. my kids are like yours and want to see who is at the door. my kids don't get that it's not safe to open the door themselves though i have trained them and they're doing better now lol there's just one problem...the upstairs hall has windows that face the front of the house..they go up there to see who it is KNOWING full well whoever it is could see them there if they happen to look up. doh!

    not only do i not answer for solicitors, but of the religious variety, too.

  33. Tony said...

    That is so funny. I just had this happen to me about 2 hours ago. I finally asked the guy,

    "what part of NO, do you not understand?"

    And yes we have the sign that none of these fools can seem to translate.

  34. Minxy Mimi said...

    I hear ya on this one... my kids get so excited when the bell rings I can never hide out! LOL
    BTW, your header is cool and looks just like you! YAY

  35. AC said...

    It's great that we have our blogs isn't it?! We can write about the dreadful injustices like this and use our creativity and sense of humor to itchbay and moan all we want and people actually enjoy reading it. I love it!

    Hey, by the way, I am tagging you in my blog manana. If you are interested, stop on by!

    If not, no worries, I will come by knock on your door and put on my sad sad face and beg you.

    AC
    Life of a Juggernaut
    www.crazyjugs.blogspot.com!

  36. Elaine said...

    Okay, I am cracking up, I can so relate to this... My kids yell, mommy someone is at the door. If only they wouldn't have said that we could ignore the bell too.

    I am so tired of telling people I don't need a vacumn.

  37. Regina Bertrand said...

    I know exactly what you are talking about!

  38. Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

    oh man, that is SO annoying. I can't believe you get so many of them! I feel for ya, hon.

  39. Manic Mom said...

    That is too funny. My kids KNOW how I hate people coming to my door. I'm in my home, minding my own business, don't bother me. I have trained them to not answer, even when I am there. One of them will ask if anyone is expecting company. And if the answer is no we will continue doing what we are doing. Once my girlfriend called and said I KNEW YOU WERE THERE, COME LET ME IN!!! I was like oooops, sorry. She was the one ringing the door bell. HA HA

  40. Jenni Jiggety said...

    I guess that is one nice thing about living in the 'hood...no solicitors!

  41. Mc Allen said...

    whats worse is the moms when they have a table at the grocery... All you want is to make it in the store. Then you have to come out an thats when they make their move... I buy at my house usually from neighbors, and although thin mints are the bombbbb, I can only sponor 5 girls at a time!! funy post! LA

  42. ExtraordinaryMommy said...

    I can relate....wish they could take 'no thank you' for an answer. I feel the same way when I have to call any customer service line and they want to 'review' my package and try to upsell. "No, thank you." yet, they keep reading their sales paragragh....

  43. Kim said...

    Yeah, I can't stand those door to door sales. I usually act like I'm not home, but now my 2 year old jiggles the door knob and then I'm screwed. So I just tell them that I've already got what they are selling and it a great product. They usually leave me alone after that. If not, then I tell them that I'm calling my sales rep to complain about the person harrassing me at the door. That really works. We had a "newspaper sales person" aka (little ghetto teen) who doesn't live in our neiborhood) come to the door at 8:30pm the other night, and my hubs went all crazy on them for saling at night in the dark. He says he thinks they were scoping out to see who was home and not... it was a Friday night! So let's just say who ever it was (won't be messing with us or our home)! After the encounter with hubs, they got in the car and took off. NEVER OPEN THE DOOR AT NIGHT!!!

  44. Tena said...

    thinking I need a sign!!
    I always tell the boys to be super quiet when they come to the door, and without fail they get a million times louder! Thanks a lot monkey's, way to throw your mama under the bus!

  45. kel said...

    Yup, I've got the sign too and they totally ignore it. I have a glass front door and they see me inside and I just ignore them. I realize that is rude, but isn't it rude of them to ignore the sign??

  46. Julie said...

    If they catch me at home I open the door with "Hi, I'm a Mary Kay lady, and I can't wait to show you my new line! Stay right there, I'm going to get my books and samples!".

    By the time I get back, they are gone.

    I'm not even a Mary Kay lady. Not sure what I'll do if one ever actually sticks around.

  47. Haasiegirl said...

    I totally feel you. I get vacuum presentations all day...we just want to SHOW you. Listen, buddy, i have TWO dysons. I dont need your vaccuum.

    Now if your going to come in and get that red juice off my carpet, knock yourself out, but im still not buying it.

    trisha

  48. Liz said...

    That's right. Stay strong & tell them NO!!!!!!!!!! About a year & a 1/2 ago, a salesman for a Kirby vacuum came to the door. I told him no but he continued to beg. I finally let him in telling him the whole time "I can't afford a Kirby. I won't be buying anything." He assured me it was FINE. He proceeded with a FOURRRRRRRRRRR HOURRRRRRRRRR presentation, shampooing & vacuuming literally every carpet, curtain, couch, chair & mattress in my house (ba-ha ha ha ha!!!!) all the while I'm telling him "I can't afford that. I won't buy it." In the end, he called his buddy (in the van circling the neighborhood) to help him pack up b/c this no good lousy woman wouldn't buy anything from him. The other guy came in & helped him pack up & bitch about how much time they spend in people's homes only to have them say no. grrrrrrrrr! I could've slapped them both!! NEVER again!!!!

  49. bernthis said...

    One time my 4 year old was in the living room. she saw one of these flyer deliverers from hell and she opened the door and he handed her the flyer. I was livid. I can't stand all the wasted paper that is dropped on my doorstep.

  50. Real Live Lesbian said...

    It's like the No Solicitors signs are magnets for them!

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