A Twisted Tale.
Twas the night before Christmasand all through the house
not a Xanax in sight
aw my poor dear spouse.
The stockings were hanging
on the mantle, just barely
stuffed with who knows what
I won't look, could be scary.
The children were over-tired
refusing their beds
while hopes of catching Santa
danced in their heads.
With Hubby in his sweats
and I posting on Twitter
I had some champagne
making my head all a-flitter.
When out on the lawn
There arose such a clatter
I didn't dare leave my computer
Someone tell me what's a matter!
When what to my strained eyes
should appear
but this big ol' fat guy
and some scrawny reindeer.
The grouchy old driver
was affected by the recession
the stale stank of his coat
left me kinda wretchin'.
Totally drunk he stumbled and tumbled
and belted out their names
Now, Tiger, now Rufus,now, Cujo, and Winston
on Buddy, on Baby, on Snoopy, and Benson.
This dude was so ghetto
his dogs so unmerry.
He took a swig of his flask
along side him, the Tooth Fairy.
Hmm...this story is sure taking a turn...yeah, I was in a strange mood when I started. Better quit before anything risque happens between Santa and TF!!
Off to finish watching Elf with the family and enjoy the holiday!
Merry Christmas Eve everyone!
December 24, 2008 3:09 AM
HAHAHA! Merry Christmas gorgeous!!!!
December 24, 2008 4:17 AM
I love the words Xanax, ghetto and wretchin' in a Chritmas story! How festive! lol!
Have a great holiday!
December 24, 2008 4:26 AM
LOL I love it! Merry Christmas!
http://spiceworld.us
December 24, 2008 5:49 AM
LOL... funny!
Merry Christmas!!
December 24, 2008 6:13 AM
merry christmas!!!!!!!!!!!
December 24, 2008 6:17 AM
you are hysterical Jen~!!! Have a great Holiday.
December 24, 2008 6:42 AM
That was cute... you should've kept going! =)
Merry Christmas to you & yours!
December 24, 2008 6:49 AM
That was cute!
Merry Xmas!
December 24, 2008 7:36 AM
YOU. ARE. SO. FUNNY!
Loving those lines from ELF too! Those are my FAVORITE lines from that movie!
You're cool. I wanna be cool like you too!
Merry Christmas. Cheers to Crocs from the inlaws!
tee hee
December 24, 2008 8:31 AM
LOL! Merry Christmas to you, Jen!
December 24, 2008 9:22 AM
Thanks for the laugh!
A ghetto santa!! hahahahahah
December 24, 2008 9:47 AM
You are a poet. Who knew? I loved wretchin , but I would rather spew. Merry Christmas Girl.
December 24, 2008 11:03 AM
Now that was good!
Merry Christmas to you and yours.
December 24, 2008 11:32 AM
Too, too funny. Glad you are keeping a sense of humor this holiday season. Merry Christmas!
December 24, 2008 12:15 PM
Hilarious!
Merry Christmas Eve to you, too! :)
December 24, 2008 6:36 PM
Oh great, bail out halfway thru and ruin my Christmas? Gimme that champagne...
Happy Thursday :)
December 24, 2008 7:17 PM
You must be feeling like me! I just dropped the f-bomb at my in-laws. As in "I hate f*ing Christmas!" Holidays always bring out the best in me. :)
December 25, 2008 10:21 AM
haha cute story! Merry Christmas
December 25, 2008 11:23 AM
LOL! That definitely was a little twisted! Too funny!! Glad it didn't get to risque!
Merry Christmas! :)
December 25, 2008 2:06 PM
Merry Christmas! Funny story!
December 25, 2008 5:04 PM
Thanks for the laugh...Merry Christmas to you!
December 25, 2008 5:09 PM
Too funny!!!! Hope you had a Christmas! We're just winding down after what was a pretty good day.
December 25, 2008 8:54 PM
Loved it, Jen!
Merry Christmas!
December 26, 2008 5:57 PM
Beautiful poem! :) Seriously SO funny. Thank you for a much needed coming down from the holiay laugh!
December 27, 2008 1:19 PM
I like where this was going. Twisted is fun.