Sweet Dreams are Made of F's

It's been a while *coughoneweek14yearscough* since I graduated from college.

I did actually graduate with a BS and an almost minor in Education. I have the transcripts and diploma to prove it.

And the pictures of me in my cap and gown.

And the University of California seal tattooed on my... nevermind.

Really though, I did.

Why am I so insecure?

It's my dreams. No, not the one where you get to class and you are in your birthday suit in front of an auditorium of Chem 1 students.

That's a totally different dream.

But this recurring dream that makes me wake in a cold sweat.

It goes like this....

I'm hanging around my apartment with my roommates and my then boyfriend-now Hubby. Everyone is busy doing something. Mainly studying. I'm just hanging around, eating, watching tv, wasting time. Sounds about right so far. Well then someone gets up to leave and says, "good luck on your finals everyone, i'm off to Animal Husbandry 131 for a stint with a cow."

Suddenly it hits me, it's FINALS week!! Why am I not studying?

I scramble around my apartment looking around for my schedule and see that I have finals in classes I don't remember attending.

Physics 101, Calculus 5, and History of East Asia 867-5309! How in the hell? I run amok looking for books, notes, anything that might give me that edge in the test that will inevitably ruin me.

I find nothing. Nothing but panic-stricken anxiety that I will ultimately fail all my
classes and be forced to go to summer school. My transcripts tarnished for life.


Now I've had weirder dreams than this.

Spicy food and vodka will do that.

But I've had this dream reapeatedly for years.

Any dream analyzers out there?

45 supporters in group:

  1. Greenflame said...

    Maybe it's obvious - but it sounds like you are not satisfied with what you are doing - and that you have a fear of failure! (Haven't most of us, though?)

    Hope you resolve it. I'm using some very rudimentary EFT to get what I want in life - early days, though.

    I used to attend a dream class years ago with an eminent psychologist who was a studied with Carl Jung - found her insights invaluable but I cannot claim any real expertise!

    Good luck!

  2. Average Girl In Average World said...

    Maybe it really is your insecurity showing through? Subconsciencely you may feel like you didn't apply yourself hard enough, or maybe you feel you "passed by the seat of your pants".

    I don't know, but stay away from the late night snacks, they always make my dreams weird.

    HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND!!!

  3. Happy Campers said...

    I always have a dream that I'm somewhere with our 5 year old on vacation and can't find my husband and can't get in touch with him. WTF is that all about?

    I love hearing people's strange dreams!!

  4. Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

    I got nothing...except that I too have dreams where I am NOT prepared...ugh.

  5. PostCards said...

    I can't offer analysis, but I can offer safety in numbers because I have the exact. same. dream. It's been awhile, but I wake up from that dream thinking that someone's going to tell me that I really don't have my master's degree in library and information studies, the degree I need to have my current job and the last 4 jobs that came before it. Then I remember that I too have the piece of paper in a lovely frame, that I have the photo of myself in the cap and gown....scary nonetheless. Can't wait to see what the interpretations are!

  6. Weaselmomma said...

    Sounds to me like you regret not playing the "have sex with the professor" card in college.

  7. Tenakim said...

    call Happy Hour Sue- she's a pro at these! I am clueless- I dream about tampons and foreign gymnasts- what do I know???

  8. Lolli said...

    I don't analyze dreams, but I do the same thing!! I dream that I have forgotten that I was signed up for a class--I can hardly remember where the classroom is, and I'm terrified to walk into the class because I haven't even looked at the book, and I'm sure the instructor will notice me and point out that I've been missing. It's almost always a math class.

  9. The Frugal Angel-Guided Psychic said...

    Yup, here I am. I do this for a living you know, LOL!

    You really want it... well, here it is otherwise look away.... lol

    Your dream is about being in school (being human and learning here on earth...the "human experience") wasting time, goofing around (not learning your lessons in a timely fashion...) being distracted by the tv, food, etc. all the distractions of life that get in the way of who you really are. Having to take finals means that you are coming to the end of some of your life-lessons (other people will call this "burning karma"). So you get in a rush to quickly scoot through learning so you can go into the finals... I'd guess that you are trying to work really, really hard in some area of your life so that you can feel better and then start something new. A lot of people are doing this right now, as an example, people trying to get caught up on their debt working really hard at that so that they can feel comfortable, or stay at home with the kids, or keep their house, or buy a house, etc.

    These dreams will be more frequent when you are in a lot of anxiety about your life and if you see this dream often through out your life it is just a reminder that you need to pace yourself through what ever lesson you currently are learning.

    Hope that helps :)

    Blessings,
    Kara

  10. Sarah's Blogtastic Adventures said...

    You feel unprepared for something would be the obvious anwser to me anyway. To dream of failure usually is a result of fears of low self esteem or inadequecy. I mean that's what they taught me in How to be a therapist 101 anyway! : )

  11. Tiffany said...

    I dream about the first day of school and I lose my schedule and don't know where to go. Then I freak out. Yea I know I'm weird. LOL

  12. Heather said...

    Okay, this is really, really weird because I have this exact same dream all the damn time. Usually when I'm stressed about something at work. I mean, I'm usually alone in my dream, as opposed to you being with friends, but I suddenly realize I have a final or a major test of some sort, and have no recollection of going to class for several weeks. I panic and berate myself for being such a horrible person ("What will everyone think when they see I failed a class??" or "Why didn't I go to class I need to graduate and start living my life!!") So weird you have the same type of dreams. It's actually stressing me out right now reliving those dreams...

  13. Kim said...

    I have that dream all the time. I hate it so much. Mine varies in that I am in high school or college, but still, I haven't attended any classes and have finals and know I'm going to fail. ugh!

  14. JamericanSpice said...

    I do agree with the above postings. And I can bet that your dream come at a certain time too.

    When things are not well I dream that I'm at the orphanage again. It was awful there. In the dream I'm terrified of being there again and then I have to accept that I'm there. This dream only comes during times when things are not well.

  15. Tony said...

    I think you need to explore this Animal Husbandry angle a bit further. LOL.. I got nothing in this area. Sorry

  16. amelia bedelia said...

    I have no idea what your dream means, but it was entertaining to read!

  17. Regina Bertrand said...

    I dont the slightest idea what it means. I cant even figure out my own. What do I know my dreams are missing the prom and graduating high school at 30. What the hell is that all about? :)

  18. Margo said...

    I have had variation on this same dream for years - where it's all of a sudden the last day of school, I've unintentionally been skipping all of my classes because I'm such a space... I wake up feeling physically ill! Dreams like this I believe have to do with our deepest insecurities. For me, I think it must have something to do with wanting a "do-over," where I could go do things better than I did the first go round, or maybe how I feel like this living thing, that everyone else does so well with all the stress and paperwork and schedules, I don't grasp naturally!

  19. Julia@SometimesLucid said...

    I think it really means that you don't want Jenny to loose that number (867-5309) ;) Otherwise, no clue!

  20. Patrice said...

    Lol sounds like my life! just kidding... kind of! haha
    I love trying to figure out what dreams mean, there are so many possible explanations!

  21. Kelly said...

    OMG--I have the same dream (well, maybe different classes and definitely no animal husbandry), but I am constantly having a dream where I need to make up for a whole semester of not going to class and now I have finals--yay, I'm not the only one!

  22. mom3crazygirls said...

    Jen, did you forget that you are crazy? doesn't that really explain everything? ;D

  23. Robin said...

    I have the same exact recurring dream. Every time I wonder what I was thinking... why hadn't I been studying or going to class? And that I ruined everything I had worked for. I was an A student, a workaholic, a worrier. I took college VERY seriously. Sound familiar?
    It always pops up when I am feeling dissatisfied with my career... sort of like a gnawing voice that tells me I should be doing better.
    Problem is, I am a total perfectionist, so I am almost ALWAYS thinking I should be doing better. Sigh
    So I guess it's really up to me (and you) to decide whether that voice is being fair in its assessment.
    Good luck!

  24. Merrie said...

    I know my mom still has a dream now and then that she's in a panic because she forgot her paper or isn't on time to take a test. She didn't much like college, and those feelings have stayed with her. I think you're pretty normal! :)

  25. Angela said...

    This is going to sound odd but I have almost the same dream and have for years. I dream it is end of the semester and I never attended any classes after the first week and I don't have a clue why I didn't go. I've had it MANY MANY TIMES! I was told it will happen when your life is really busy and you are constantly trying to remember to do a thousand things BUT that could be wrong!

  26. Jenni Jiggety said...

    I want to know why East Asia's course number is my phone number?

  27. Mrs4444 said...

    I don't think it has anything at all to do with insecurity or satisfaction; it just means you ave a lot on your plate and are feeling like we all are; like there is too much to do and you might never get it done and will therefore be a failure as a mom. Just a theory, of course.
    OMG-You just inspired me to write an awesome post! thanks.

  28. Leslie said...

    My crystal ball says that it means you're preggo.....oh, and that you need to eat more protein, hehe.

  29. Paige said...

    I have three recurring dreams--the most common is that I fall down for no reason and cannot make my legs act right to get up. Two that my teeth fall out all the time.

    The third one has to do with school--all these years after graduation from college, I find out there was an error and I am an hour short. They make me come back despite my law degree--and I have nowhere to stay, no idea where to sign up for classes, and dont know if my husband will come with, or who will take care of the pets, and some of the bars moved. It is a nightmare

  30. jill jill bo bill said...

    My old boss was so into analyzing dreams that one day I shared with her I dreamed about fire and supposedly that had something to do with making money. She gave me the day off and told me to go play the lottery or go to Vegas. Man was she wrong. But so right to let me leave...

  31. Sarah McBride said...

    hmmm, maybe you are unhappy with how you have used your degree up until now. Or maybe you owuld like to go back to school and continue your education, get into a field you really love.
    our subconscious is a crazy thing.

  32. kiddlebug said...

    I have similar dreams, but mine is that is is exam time and I haven't attended some of my classes. I have no idea where to even find them on campus or what they are supposed to be. I also graduated a couple years ago (like 10 or 15 or so)

  33. liz said...

    One of my many nightmares has me returning to college too. . . and I always think, But I've already done this!!!!

    Let me know if you discover why. . . then we can work on the reasons for the other ones.

  34. Lindsay said...

    lol that is a super scary reoccurring dream! No idea what it means here.. but the course numbers totally cracked me up!

  35. Mrs4444 said...

    Jen, here's what I was talking about. It must be different!

    http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/

  36. mollybloom said...

    At least you have clothes on. In mine I'm always taking a calculus exam I haven't studied for, and for some reason I'm always naked.

    I think there are multiple layers of anxiety at work here.

  37. Jenners said...

    I have dreams like this too .. the panic because I have a test and am not ready. I'll have to read your comments to see what everyone is saying!

  38. Jenners said...

    I have a very similar dream...I'll have to read your comments to find out what everyone came up with!

  39. PurpleGreenPops.com said...

    Maybe you should switch your major.

    Or have your drinking water tested.

    Anyway, one dream I have on a regular basis is, during a baseball game, I'm at bat and digging in.

    The pitcher winds up and throws the pitch. I hang in there because it looks like a curve ball. All of a sudden I realize it's going to hit me in the face!

    I jerk back as fast as I can... and then I wake up.

    This dream only occurs, though, when I accidentally mix my meds.

  40. Janel@Dandelion Dayz said...

    Well, I am not a dream analyzer for sure. But they do say there is something to a recurring dream and I think it has to do with the item you dream about being unsettled in your mind.

    I have this recurring dream that I am single and old and can't find a husband. Even though I have been with my hubby for 15 years now. Very weird and not sure what could possibly be unsettled.

    Maybe dreams are just that and not meant to be analyzed. Who knows?

  41. Tova Darling said...

    I have this dream ALL the time! And it's always my last semester of college, and I need A's on my exams in order to graduate. So stressful!

  42. flickrlovr said...

    Animal Husbandry 131?!?!

  43. Michele said...

    I have the same dream repeatedly! I also am a UC grad. Hmmmm....

    Found ya thru Ann's Rants! :-)
    Nice to meet ya!

  44. M@ said...

    Can you do me a REALLY big favor and let me know if anyone gives you a good idea of what this means? I have this dream ALL THE TIME.

    I graduated highschool in 87, and didn't finish until 98, mostly through failing out in the beginning, and having to do it at night at the end because I was married with two kids.

    My biggest fear is having to go back for my masters at some point. Maybe it's just a leftover from that?

  45. Aria said...

    Actually, if you look it up, a dream dictionary will tell you that you tend to go through life by the seat of your pants, and it leaves you feeling stressed out because you haven't prepared and planned things instead.

    Get used to it, Jen... it's called motherhood (if you're a non-control freak who doesn't press creases into jeans)

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