Confession from the Couch

I have a confession.

I got a birthday gift from a friend and I haven’t used it yet.

It’s been over a month.

I’m nervous to take that next step.

Are you curious what it is?

Well it isn’t a gift card to Target. Those get used immediately. I actually will leave my birthday party/dinner/wine tasting event to go use it. No one minds. They curse at me when I get back, but I’m cool with that.

It isn’t my iPod Touch, that baby is my 4th child. (Words with Friends player name “themomjen”).

Not cash either, that is gone, probably spent on pizza or more Target stuff.

What is it?

A session with a psychic.

Yes, a psychic!

I’m scared shitless.

So my friend who got this for me has actually had a psychic-party before. Invited a bunch of people over to get a “reading” of their future.


I don’t know if I want to know that I’m going to die on a specific date! I mean, I guess I can make sure I’m wearing clean undergarments, and my hair’s half-way done, but yikes, I’m not ready for that!

I hear that you can specifically ask for only the pleasant stuff. No gore or negativity.

But what if the guy slips, and goes, “DUDE, you do NOT want to be in your car on July 25th, 2018 at 3:45pm!”

Or worse, be like that psychic on LOST who wouldn’t even read Claire’s future because he totally knew she’d end up crazy-ass whacked on the island with a coconut baby in a bassinet trying to kill Kate for stealing Aaron!

So, what am I going to do? I’m freaked out and don’t know if I can follow through with this.

Maybe I should do it drunk, then I won’t remember.

Maybe I’m better off knowing my fate. I can get my bucket list started, use the excuse, “sorry but I’m going to be dead then, can’t help out at my granddaughter’s bat mitzvah.”

See how nervous this is making me, I’ve already married K off to a nice Jewish man, and wished a teenager on her.


10 supporters in group:

  1. Christy said...

    I think you should do it drunk and then write about it, lol. I would either never use it or give it to someone else. Some things are better left unknown...and I think its creepy!

  2. Anonymous said...

    A friend of mine is always going to psychics. None of the things they've told her's ever's fun but most psychics don't know crap.

  3. Merrie said...

    Like I said, some of the stuff he predicted never came true, and some of it is still a ways off to see what happens. I did enjoy hearing about my grandmother, and he was oddly right on about a few things. Just have a glass of wine and think of it as a blogging experience. :)

  4. Anonymous said...

    Worst idea I ever had...visiting a psychic on a dare once. I was in my late 20's, had 2 young children, and she told me one of my kids would be fatally injured in an accident. Who TELLS people that??!!! I don't care if you knew that 150%, you still wouldn't TELL someone that. My kiddo is still going strong over ten years later but just thinking back to that night gives me the willies. Don't do it, Jen!!

  5. Heather B. said...

    DONT DO IT!! They are freaky! For real!!!

  6. Unknown said...

    I would go drunk as well!! lol

    Seriously though, if you're feeling that strongly about the idea, then don't do it.
    Your friend will understand ;)

  7. Rachel said...

    I definitely belong to the camp of "I'd rather not know."

    But, if you do go, go drunk. At least that way you'll laugh all night and not remember a single detail the next morning.

  8. Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

    I also vote GO DRUNK! LOL

    He will tell you don't get in the car on this date and you will interpret it as I am gonna win a FREE car on such and such date!

    I would be kinda uncertain too. Have never been to one and not sure if I will ever go to one.

  9. Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? said...

    Yeah, I'm with you. I don't think I would do it, either.

  10. MollyinMinn said...

    Yeah, have some drinks and remind yourself to take it with a grain of salt. Unless they say really good stuff. And then take it as truth. ;)

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