As we approached Rancho Mirage, we watched the car thermometer rise…100, 103, 105, 106…110…111…113…114…115…116…117.
I have never experienced heat quite like that before.
Everytime we left an area with air conditioning and into the heat, my husband would ask, “Are the cookies ready yet?!” We’d feel like we just opened the oven door to check on cookies baking.
Look at the mountains, nakey! Nothing grows here.
Like you often hear, “it’s a dry heat.” It is. Just overwhelms you by filling your face with the inability to breathe. Your eyeballs dry up, you take a breath in, only to dry all the saliva in your throat and mouth and you exhale saying, shit that's hot.
Once you regain the ability to spit again, you sweat, or if you’re like me, you don’t sweat at all, you internally boil then pray you can get one of those perspiration moustaches.
It doesn’t happen, so then heat stroke knocks on my door and asks to come in.
THAT’s when I ordered my first Mai Tai and the rest of the weekend was easy.
Okay, so I did alternate Mai Tai, water, Mai Tai, wine spritzer, water, beer, then water again.
Duh, I didn’t want a headache!
Why do you think they call it Rancho Mirage? NOTHING GROWS HERE.
This was the first vacation that I wanted to be equally imbibing fluids as I wanted to be submerged in pool, all day, all night. It’s actually a nice plan, though we did have to dry off to eat once in a while too.
I even went down both waterslides. Water shot up my nose so fast, I momentarily couldn’t find which way was up from the bottom of the pool, what a rush.
So the low for the weekend was 89 degrees and that’s at 7am.
Just as we all got our wings and were acclimated, it’s time to pack up and head home.
It’s okay, though, hub has to work tomorrow and K has school.
Plus, I gotta get home to watch the Bachelorette!
It’s going to be the best finale, YET.
We will be back though.
NOTE---if your oven is only set to 117, cookies will take 4 times longer to bake...if at all...just eat the raw dough...raw eggs, schmawschneggs!
PS NOTE---I don't endorse eating raw eggs. That was just a joke.