I've Been Living in Fear

I've been meaning to post this for a while...I just haven't, until now.

Confession: I banned my kids from my parent's house.

For 2 weeks. The longest 2 weeks I've experienced because I, in fact, banned myself too.

My parent's have lived in the same house for more than 35 years. It was the house I grew up in. The house I've known as 'home' all my life. The house is about a mile from mine, we're there a lot, my kids are there a lot.

My childhood home was robbed 2 weeks ago. Ransacked to be exact. Theives took jewelry, cameras, the computer, and amongst other things, the piggy bank that belonged to my kids. Sick bastards, it only had about 20 dollars in quarters. Nothing much, but to my children, everything.
It was later discovered that the next-door neighbors robbed their home. Next. Door. Neighbors. They had been there a short time, they had past records, on parole even. One person was arrested. Then another. But, all the while people came and went from the home. My parent's neighborhood was still unsafe. Tainted.

It all scared me. I had fear that I never knew before. I begged my parents to stay somewhere else, they refused. It was out of my control. But, what I could control was my family staying clear of the uncertainty.

Paranoia set in over those two weeks until I got word that the remainder of the tenants were evicted. The main theives were caught, some of the property returned. But, what they can't give back to us is the security we feel in our own homes. The peace of mind we have when we leave our house, or go to bed at night, that all will be right when we return or wake up. That has been taken from us. From me. And it hurts.

You can also find this post at Mommy Confessions, where I guest posted in her unique confession-based style, June 2. Check her out, she is a fantastic writer!

22 supporters in group:

  1. flickrlovr said...

    I read this over at Mommy Confessions, and my heart broke for you. Security and safety are so, so important (your own and your family's) and when those barriers are broken, it's hard to rebuild them. I am so sorry that this happened. At their house. In your life, and your children's. I hope that you'll feel more and more comfortable again and have a new sense of security around your parents' neighborhood so that you can enjoy it once again.

  2. Sogeshirtsguy said...

    Sorry to hear that. When thieves rob the worst part is the peace of mind that they take. It will return in time hopefully.

  3. Angie said...

    How scary! I certainly don't blame you for staying away from there. I would have done the same thing. I am glad your parents weren't hurt!

  4. Sarah McBride said...

    That stinks. It is scary when your parents neighbors are the perps. Talk about COMPLETE invasion.
    Hopefully they will have new NICE neighbors move in and you can slowly start rebuilding your sense of security.

  5. Janel said...

    Oh I can totally see how you would feel this way! I would be very frustrated too to have that security taken away.

    My mom used to live in an old house in the city of St. Louis in a not so safe neighborhood. I never slept soundly there. But I also never grew up there.

    I would have mourned the loss of such security.

    I am glad the neighbors have been cleared out, though.

  6. Sue said...

    Oh Jen, that is so sad, especially since it's your childhood home. But I think I'd do the same, having children. People suck.

  7. Drama Mama said...

    Found your blog and love it- My parents have had 2 cars stolen from their driveway- They have lived there for about 32 years- it is very sad and scares me to death-I fear that they will get robbed and killed any day! It is still a very nice part of town, just high crime-

  8. Lisa H. said...

    That has to be so hard for you - I'm sorry :-(

  9. Smart A$$ Mom said...

    Y'know, you can't allow these punks to have so much of yourself and your family. You boycotting doesn't change what happened or what can happen. It probably won't even make you feel any safer. If in 35 years this is the first thing that has shaken your comfort-you have a good thing going.

  10. Jenny said...

    Holy freakin crap! That is such a fear of mine...a break in, then I wouldn't EVER want to step foot in my home ever again. I'm so sorry to hear. I hope you and your parents and the rest of the family overcome all of the emotional turmoil, and then you can move on. You seem like a strong person, so I think you'll be able to do it.

  11. *Becky* said...

    Awww Jen, I can't express how sorry I am that this has happened to your family :(

  12. Ann said...

    Jen I am so sorry.
    People who do the hurt commit the action then move on, leaving us with all of the emotion. They've forgotten us by now.
    It just PISSES me OFF!!!
    What can we do for you?
    There must be some way to help you, at least symbolically, take back your house.
    I'll be thinking of ideas and e-mail ya'!

  13. momto2boys said...

    I'm glad you're able to talk about this and let it out. I wonder how your brother truly feels. I always get the "I'm fine" status quo answer, but I'm sure there has to be some emotion different than that.

  14. Tenakim said...

    I kind of know what you're going through. Where we used to live, we had our car stolen twice. After that, my husband, a policeman, was very alert to any noise. One night he heard something and ran to see one of our neighbor's cars being stolen. He acted on impulse, told me to call 911 and grabbed his gun. He stepped out there and yelled to stop and announced he was the police. I was standing behind the front door on the phone as 3 gunshots were fired toward my house- with our 3 kids at the time, sleeping upstairs. We loved our neighborhood and neighbors, they were my and my kids' best friends. Ineveitably, this is why we moved, though. We just couldn't feel safe in our own home. My husband's odd hours means he isn't home a lot and he was uncomfortable with us going out or being home alone, for that matter- it was just awful. It's nice to feel, relatively, safe again. I think we will always have more of a guard up than most because of our experiences. Sorry for your sadness that you're dealing with, but it does ease a little with time and my kids tell the story like a movie script- and are always, sadly excited to share it- so kids are resiliant and the fear in them especailly should go away.

  15. Tara R. said...

    I remember when you first posted about. Scary stuff. I'm glad the thieves were caught. I hope you all feel safe in your parents home again very soon.

  16. Marla said...

    This just plain sucks! Best of luck finding your way back to feeling safe, there is nothing worse than being violated like that.

  17. ciara said...

    wow, that's tough. i would probably have those fears, and it's totally understandable. your home is the one place you can feel safe in, and when someone invades it, you feel lost. i'm guessing your parents refuse to leave there, because it is HOME. and maybe, they feel that those who robbed them of their possessions were not going to rob them of that. i hope you can get to the point where you feel safe again.

  18. Susiewearsthepants said...

    You do whatever you need to do to feel safer. If that means staying away from your parents house for a bit, so be it. I am so sorry this happened to you

  19. Aubrey said...

    So Sad! Sorry that this happened to all of you!
    We moved into a pretty good neighborhood 1 year ago but, unfortunately, it borders a not-so-good neighborhood. ADT has been our piece of mind.
    I hope someday soon the hurt subsides and the feeling of security returns!

  20. Ann(ie) said...

    OH man. That's scary!! I'd have done the very same thing.

  21. Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

    That sucks. My mom lives in my childhood home as well. It was always a wonderful neighborhood, but it is being encroached upon from the north by scumbags. There is a crack house two blocks from her house!! Be safe. Be smart. That sense of security will come back.

  22. Rebecca A.K.A. Mum said...

    Jen I am sorry you are still struggling with the break-in, I would be in your exact same shoes if it was me and my kids.
    I hope you feel better about it all soon so you can all go back to enjoying spending time with the G'parents at their house like you used to.

    Damn those bastards who messed it all up and invaded your parents house.

    {{HUGS}} girl.

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