Letters From the Airport

I'm home!

The weekend was amazing and you'll be getting bits and pieces for a long while. My heart aches for my best friends in the world. Saying goodbye to them is the hardest thing to do. I could surround myself with their laughter, their love, and their companionship every day. Only 360 days until we can be together again! Santa Barbara, 2009!!

Okay...so I have to write a few letters.

I love people watching in the airport while waiting for my flight. People on the go, traveling from here to there, people in general, they're just fascinating.

BUT..there are also those around you that you wish you could just say, "DUDE! What the heck is wrong with you?!" For them, I have a letter.

Dear Bluetooth Lady,
I can clearly see your earpiece. I know you aren't actually talking to me when you shout, and ask questions, and shout some more. But, I will continue to look up occasionally just to check. It's kinda automatic. You're sitting right across from me and are SO loud I can't even concentrate on my US Weekly magazine. Stop giving me the that look of "no, not you, i'm on the phone" and pointing to the metal sticking out of your ear. I'm not stupid, just annoyed.
Thanks, Jen

Dear Creepy Guy,
Stop staring at me. I'm trying to relax and mind my own business while waiting for this flight. Your eyes are burning a hole in the side of my head. By the way, your wife's purse is cute, but EW stop staring!
Thanks, Jen

Dear Automatic-Flushing Toilets,
There's a line outside this door. Why must you sit there and not flush. I'm done. I'm standing up. I'm dressed. FLUSH already! I'm not leaving until you flush. I'm warning you. *pressing all the things on the contraption that look like alternate flushing devices* OH forget it. Who cares who knows Aunt Flo is visiting. You suck. *leaving, door closing behind me* WHHOOOOSHH! Oh Thank God.
Thanks alot, Jen

Dear Other Non-Laptop Owners,
Are there only so few of us left? I'm writing my blog notes in my magazine. How embarassing.
Blushing, Jen

Dear Dell or Macintosh,
Dude! I'd love to write a glowing review of your newest laptops, and try one out forever. LOL. Just kidding. No, i'm not.
Desktop only owner, Jen

Dear DUH Girl,
To answer your question. 1) We were just in Californina. 2) We flew 37 minutes in the air to Reno. 3) NO, we didn't cross another time zone. 4) Where did you think you were going?! 5) Are you old enough to have a boyfriend? Wow.
Jen


50 supporters in group:

  1. John Deere Mom said...

    Love the letters! I, too, have no laptop. So sad to see people typing away on theirs while I look forlornly over their shoulders. Maybe one day, right?!

  2. HappyHourSue said...

    God God, I made it! This is so freaky: when I type your url into my browser or try to go there from my blogroll, it takes me back to MY blogger dashboard!!!! WTF? My computer has connected us somehow! So finally this morning I started Google Reader (which is so cool!) and I can get to you. Would have told you on Twitter but you're not there yet. :) Anyway - great post as usual, missed you - please get on Twitter - it's so much fun.

  3. Khadra said...

    cute!

    I am a non laptop owner, but I would probably be trying to type everything out on my phone. Not quite the same as a laptop lol!!

  4. Baseballs and Tutu's said...

    I absolutely love your blog! You are so talented in ways I will never be :) so I live through your blog LOL

    So glad you had a wonderful trip..can't wait to hear all about it!

  5. georgie said...

    Can't wait to hear more about your trip and see some pix...

    I am also a non-laptop owner I also dont own a DVR or photoshop...just throwing it out there, in case you wanna buy me something ;-)

  6. ParentingPink said...

    Ya, I get really annoyed with the "Duh" girls too! Hope you had a wonderful trip! Let's see the pics!

  7. Sarah said...

    Hey if that whole letter to Dell thing works out, could you put me on the short list? I'd give various body parts for a laptop so that I could leave the dungeon from time to time.

    And it is my position that Blue Tooth people should have a lounge like the smokers. Then they could all stand in there and yell at each other and leave the rest of us in peace.

  8. Britt said...

    Welcome home :o)

    I hate those automatic flushers .. When I was babysitting, the little girls I watched were just short enough that when they sat on the auto flusher, it thought their head was an adult butt and kept flushing as they were trying to finish. This lead to fits of giggles, and we were in there for.ever! So annoying!

  9. Tammy said...

    Ha..I love the letters! Too funny! Hope you enjoyed your girls weekend!

  10. jill jill bo bill said...

    So glad you are home and had a great time! The letters were hilarious. Did you get my money from Reno? lol

  11. Krystyn said...

    Jen..you are cracking me up, here. I'm glad you had a good time. Love the letters. I'm not a fan of the blue tooth, either. I get it when you are in the car, but why at a place where it is all too easy to hold a phone?

  12. Darcie said...

    I, too, am one of the few remaining non-laptop-owning people in the world. We bought a laptop this past winter but when we realized Hubby didn't need it, we sold it. DUMBDUMBDUMBDUMBDUMB. Now I'm waiting on next year's tax refund. Maybe I should blog about Dell, too. Heh.

  13. Tracey said...

    I love people watching...my husband and I have so much fun critiquing others...I just don't travele enough to be able to use the lines we come up with. Very funny!

  14. Rochelle said...

    Glad you're back! Love the letters and, as you know, HATE THE BLUETOOTH!! C Ya soon.

  15. Tiffany said...

    HAHA The toilet was so freaking funny. And I just bought my first laptop so I was with you until a month ago. Glad you're back and had fun!!

  16. Jo-Jo said...

    I am a non laptop owner myself...I feel your pain. Glad you had a good time! The letters were great I think each and everyone of us has encountered those people!

  17. ali said...

    Can you tell Dell to send me a laptop too? My boys hate those automatic flushers! They weren't expecting it to flush one time and it was so loud it scared us all to death! Now, whenever they have to use a public restroom, the first question they ask is, "Does it flush by itself?"

  18. Chelle said...

    Too funny! I have never thought to blog about the random people at the airport...

    Here's hoping you get a laptop!!

  19. Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

    Welcome Back!!

    OMG, I can totally relate to these airport people and the toilet flushing. BTW I am a non laptop owner as well.

  20. The White House said...

    What a fantastic idea. I am constantly coming up with conversations with weirdos in my head. I love that you wrote them letters. Glad you are back! Yes, I am stuck at a desktop, too, with an ergonomically incorrect chair that is killing my back...

  21. Jill said...

    I have a lot of trouble leaving friends when we depart California. It about breaks my heart.

    Thankfully there's e-mail - and skype (my new favorite thing!).

  22. Kelly said...

    don't you just love people watching? even if they annoy the crap out of you, they give you excellent writing material!

  23. Aryanti Sani said...

    I don't get the "Automatic-Flushing Toilets" too and I know how annoying it is. Bah!

  24. Amy said...

    I love to people watch too. My husband always gets mad when we go to sporting events because I'm too busy watching people to watch whatever is happening on the field.

    And the letters were great! And so true!

  25. Spice said...

    Love the letters. Hope you had a great trip!!! http://spiceworld.us

  26. Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

    LOL! I love your letters! I think that all of these people were at the airport the last time I traveled.

  27. Molly said...

    crack me up!

    this is one of the reasons I tagged you in a meme:

    http://www.thegirlinthemiddle.com/blog

  28. Lori said...

    Ah yes, the colorful people you will see in the airport. This post is priceless.

  29. Tenakim said...

    So glad you're back- can't wait to hear details!

    from the other only PC user left in the world

  30. Jyl @ MommyGossip said...

    Jen, I totally relate with both missing the girls after a fabulous vacation and the desktop issue. I site here looking at this amazing machine I have with its HUGE monitor. It was perfect for designing the school's yearbook on last year. But, now that times have changed and I am into blogging, I sooooo wish I had a laptop. A nice little Mac that would never let me down and would keep me mobile wherever.

    I guess I'll just have to get faster at typing on my iPhone. Don't know if that will happen though!

    Glad you had a fun time with your girlfriends :).

  31. Ranch Girl said...

    Ah, back to my daily routine of first checking my email, and then your blog. It makes me feel like we don't live 5 hours apart :-(

  32. Megryansmom said...

    Hello, new here, I think I will return. I too have no laptop :(

  33. tollesons4him said...

    Loved reading the letters, people in airports do creep me out.

  34. JenniBeanV said...

    Welcome home! I am glad you had such a good time!

    Those blue tooth people make me crazy!

  35. Ramblin' Red said...

    I've been a blogrant, Jen - me so sorry!

    Love these letters...some crazy folk at the airport. I should write a post about the time I rode a Greyhound from CO to WA. Some doozies there and I was all of 15.

    I have a laptop. Don't hate me!

  36. topsytechie said...

    Dear Jen,

    Thanks for the comment about my purse! My hubby had just gotten it for me as a present after he got back from a long business trip. He is just the best. He keeps going on long business trips and bringing me back jewelry, lingerie, sunglasses, and now a purse. Isn't he the greatest?! You know what else is cool? When the phone rings and wakes us up at 2 a.m. in the morning, he always answers it. He even takes the phone in the other room so as not to disturb me. And when he is busy working on his computer, and I come in the room, he switches it off real quick so he can focus all his attention on me. I am so lucky!!

    Signed,
    Lady at airport with cute purse

  37. Angela said...

    LOL!!!! Totally loving this--can I hire you as my future travel buddy? It would certainly make the wait time more interesting....great narration! I have a laptop! LOL

  38. Kristen Andrews said...

    that is funny I love people watching and Will even does, he likes to sit at Starbucks and watch people cracks me up. You so need a lap top!

  39. Nicole Feliciano said...

    Oh what fun your blog is to peruse. I'll definitely be back for more visits. Also, if you have a sec, check out my blog. I've got four fun fashion contests running this month.

    http://momtrends.blogspot.com

  40. Belle said...

    oh yes....great material for blogging in an airport. My last trip gave me fodder for one of my favorite posts.

  41. Kate said...

    Hilarious!!! "What I always wanted to say but didn't"...good for you for sayin 'um...even if it was in a pretend blog note!! :D Welcome back girlfriend...I'm sure you had a blast....where are the picts??!!! ;)

  42. Rebecca a.k.a. Mum said...

    OK.....I hate cell phone/blue toothers who shout and talk like that are in private....hello not interested in your conversation/life!

    Creepy guys...there is one across the street from me. Nice guy and all...but totally invades your *personal space* when talking to you and is always looking at my tits!
    What's up with that buddy???

    I hate those auto flushing toilets...nuff said.

    Dh has a lappy but I hate them, I am happy to be a desk topper!

    So how old was this nim wit that though she was flying to....I dunno Australia then? Sounds like a typical dumb blonde Caly girl!! haha **I jest I jest**

    Glad you had such a great time Jen, you deserve it girl! :)

  43. Allison said...

    Love the letters! So witty and yet so TRUE!!!

  44. Shannon said...

    Glad to hear you had a great time... looking forward to hearing more about your weekend!

    And no, I don't have a laptop either. But I so covet one... it would make this blogging thing so much easier!

  45. Corey~living and loving said...

    Welcome home....looking at these comments it is obvious, I wasn't the only one to miss your presence.

  46. KJ said...

    This is very clever and funny! I enjoyed it!

    KJ
    California

  47. Jenny said...

    I'm so glad you had the time of your life! And the letters were fabulous! I have done one too many fake walks to the stall door to try and get the auto toilet to flush! Hilarious!

  48. Wendi said...

    Welcome Home!
    Love these letters!
    You. are. hilarious.

  49. AC said...

    You are so witty! Fun reading! Thanks for sharing. I HATE AUTO FLUSHES!

    AC
    Life of a Juggernaut
    crazyjugs.blogspot.com

  50. Janel@Dandelion Dayz said...

    Too funny!
    sounds like you had a great time!

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