Reality Bites, Literally.

Reality shows I'll never be on...

Mom vs Wild (or Survivormom)--I mean these guys purposely put themselves in life-threatening situations, get bitten buy dangerous snakes, and nearly drown in frigid waters! FUN---NOT! Thank you but i'm sure I won't be lost in New Guinea anytime soon to need the tutorial of pulling a boa off my leg. I love when they say, "I just barely made it!!" Dude, why do this to yourself?! Bear Grylls is cute, don't get me wrong, I mean he strips nude in every other episode. I'll watch it, just not be on it.

Survivor--Over a month and no personal hygiene products?! Doubt it, I need my daily weekly chocolate consumption, morning coffee, and my over-indulgence of carbs, no fireants for breakfast for me!

Real Houswives of any Orange County--one, I don't live there. Two, I'm not that interesting. Three, just cuz I don't want to see my own mug on film.

The Bachelorette--obviously, I'm happily married. But, if I wasn't, I don't think that's the most natural setting to find a mate. Especially when you have 24 others throwing themselves at your potential man. I like to pretend when I watch that show, that it's fiction.

Wipeout--Have you seen the people bouncing off those huge red balls! It's embarassingly funny to watch. Probably hurts like a bitch to do!

American Idol--I can't sing worth a dang. Plus, Simon is such a jerk, I needn't subject myself to further public humiliation.

LA Ink--LOVE the show. Kat Von D and the crew do ah-mazing work. I love the stories behind the tattoos, they definately give me inspiration for a 3rd!! But, I could never hold a conversation while they worked, it HURTS and I tend to cry and yelp a little.

The Mom and Hub +3--again, LOVE Jon and Kate +8, but to have the cameras in the house all day, watching me spend all my free time on the computer would be a tad embarassing! Plus all the farting wouldn't make for a good show.

On the other hand, The Amazing Race I WOULD do. That would be fun! They do throw in the occasional "eat something bizarre" but I'd make Hubby do that, he's good at throwing up. I think that would be the only opportunity I'd get to travel the world too.

What about you?!

39 supporters in group:

  1. Ms. Bar B: said...

    Hehehe. Yeah... reality tv makes me wanna bite myself. I, along with the rest of my generation, still long for the days when we could turn to MTV or VH1 and actually see a music video!!!

  2. Martha said...

    I agree with you. Love to watch wouldn't want to do.... I watch Survivor, Amazing Race an the Real Housewives and an occasional Jon and Kate... I would LOVE to be on of the Housewives for just one day.... to see what it feels like to walk in a store, after parking my Mercedes, and spend $2K without batting an eye... or that $65K ring that Gretchen is wearing! Of course, I would need 1 years worth of Biggest Loser and plastic surgery to even come close to fitting the Orange Cty MOLD!

  3. Weaselmomma said...

    None for me thanks! Friends tried to talk the Mr. and I into trying out for the amazing race. No way! Don't need that much of myself out there.

  4. Andrea Frederick said...

    I was reading you list thinking the exact same thing and wondering when the Amazing Race would pop up. I LOVE that show! I would do it in a heartbeat, but I'm not sure who. If it was with my hubby, I would be one of those hysterical/ranting women. I think it would have to be with a close friend. Great post!

  5. Courtney said...

    I would do amazing race, too! (Well, not right now, but when the girls are older!)

  6. Courtney said...

    Wipe Out is hilarious! John and Kate is great. I don't do the Bachelor or Bachelorette.

  7. Jen said...

    I agree with all your shows and would like to add Rock of Love. I wouldn't want to come within 10 feet of those std-ridden sluts. Plus my boobs are way too small.

    I actually would do the Bachelorette though. I think that would be a lot of fun. :)

  8. Tenakim said...

    I think they need to find a reality show that is real!!! Like us! I would so watch a show with REAL people- it's the reason I liked Jon and Kate -in the beginning- I posted today about my falling out with them.

    I think reality shows start off real with good intentions and then the producers get ideas of ways to tweak and make money and headlines. I loved Wife Swap when it started- it had extreme families, yes, but they each learned something- then they started putting people that think they were pirates on it and they lost me- WHAT FAMILY THINKS THEY ARE PIRATES???

  9. Tiffany said...

    I would love to be on LA Ink. I think they are awesome.

    And the Amazing Race is freaking HARD! I think it's the hardest show out there. I'd be lost in the airport on the first day. LOL

  10. MAMA CEO said...

    I totally would do Amazing Race! I tagged you on my blog!

  11. Tony said...

    Nice overview of, well every show on TV. You are so funny. So LA Ink, what is your take on the Muerta Skull tattoo? ( symbolizes the dawn of the dead celebration) I have been wanting one I crafted for my 40th to symbolize the dawning of my new life. You know 40 is the new 30? I am getting my kids birth foot prints touched up next week.

    what about the deadliest catch?

  12. Lindsay said...

    I am pretty sure I could not be on any of them!!

  13. Shannon said...

    What creeps me out about Survivor is the lack of hygiene... seeing the dirt under their fingernails is so nasty!

    I would love to be on TAR. My sister and I were thisclose to applying for it one year...

  14. Jamey said...

    LOL, Yeah I love bear he is hot! and Wipe out is hilarious! I would never survive any of the shows! but some are fun to watch. there is a new on on discoery, can't remember the name, that guy is nuts, he had a scorpion in his mouth!!!!

  15. April said...

    I agree with you on every single thing you said.
    Have a great weekend.

  16. Twisted Serenity said...

    I totally agree! Im better at sitting on the couch watching it with my chocolate bar..hehe!!!

  17. Average Girl In Average World said...

    RHOC - I don't get the hype... Maybe I am not girly enough.

    Survivor - NOT. Love to watch, but I HATE sand in my ass crack.

    LA Ink - I would love to have them finish my tattoo (I passed out during the outline) I'm a sissy. I will post a pic for you!

    I would totally partner with you on The Amazing Race - Hubby said we would end in divorce if we went together.

  18. Average Girl In Average World said...

    Oh yeah, I forgot - I would LOVE to show Kate - my slap a bitch arm and then of course.... slap a bitch :)

  19. Rachel said...

    I would LOVE to sing...I just can't! I would get a lot of footage on the rejects they air though on American Idol!

  20. wife.mom.nurse said...

    hmmm...LA Ink-guess I'd have to go for the tat ") Never had one... love the vivid colored works of art

  21. Swirl Girl said...

    I can't sing either - but I admire those kids on American Idol so much. It takes amazing balls and presence to get in front of an audience and cameras...if you really think about it.

    I would never be on a show like Bachelor only to be rated by who gives the best b.j...cuz quite frankly - what else do these broads have to offer? They have serious esteem issues.

    and the trashwives of any county? they've had their 15 minutes - now move along.

    **although I wouldn't be on these shows...I am oddly drawn to them the same way I keep looking at the dead racoon in the road. Disgusted and compelled at the same time!

  22. Dawn said...

    I only watch two of those, The Bachlorette and Wipeout.

    It's funny you think of the bachelor as fiction. That's what my husband tells our daughter too. LOL! She doesn't watch it, but when she comes in the room when I am she always asks questions!

  23. Heidi said...

    I love that you pretend that the Bachelor is fiction. I find the show very entertaining, but it makes me CRAZY! I cannot imagine duking it out with other girls for MY man. It's so bizarre when they don't get a rose and they are bawling and saying how special their relationship was! How special could it be when he's being "special" with tons of other women at the same time. Insanity! PS - Can't WAIT till September...

  24. Leigh (Modern Mommy) said...

    LOL! How about just a "Real Housewives of Reality" where they show people like us driving our minivans and shopping at Target? Something tells me I wouldn't get very high ratings. I bet it's all about the boobs. Maybe I need a boob job... ;)

  25. Threeboys1mommy said...

    I love Amazing Race, but I'd probably slap my husband silly if we got to deep in it. It's starting again, I hope it's not on Sunday I always forget about it on Sunday.

  26. Elisabeth said...

    I would never be on American Idol for the same reasons you listed! I don't need Simon to tell me I can't sing when I have my hubby and kids telling me I can!

  27. The Scribbler said...

    I can't watch Jon and Kate - all that screaming and fussing and running around stresses me out.

    But the Amazing Race - I'd be there in a heartbeat!

  28. Heather said...

    I would so do The Amazing Race! It would be such a fun adventure! And I would also be on Big Brother, which I know you didn't mention, but it is my FAVORITE!!!!!

    All the others are too much for me! But I do love to watch!

  29. Brittany said...

    Agreed. I don't think I could be on any of those, but if it meant loads of free nipping and tucking, I would sooo do Real Houswives.

    Right now, I am only fit for Jon & Kate plus 8

  30. Stesha said...

    I really would like to be on Amazing Race!

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

  31. Momo-Mama said...

    I would probably be on a reality show as long as it had nothing to do with surviving in nature...As I tell most people who meet me "I don't do nature"...things that grow, freak me out, that's why I blog...to cope with my weird kids (who grow)

  32. lizspin said...

    Wifeswap! Need I say more????

  33. Jenni Jiggety said...

    If you can drive standard and are willing to eat intestines...I will totally be your AR partner! We can be the Mommy Bloggers and we will start off so sweet but be stealing people's shoes midway through the season.

  34. The Thompson's said...

    Wipeout? Now that was a HI LA RI OUS show. I loved watching it. The one you forgot to mention that you would have loved to go on was Fear Factor. I mean who doesnt want scorpions crawling all over them while fecal matter from mice is dumped on their head. Oh yeah, and once your done with that, have some African Hissing Cockroaches for desert! Yeah. No thanks.

  35. Sabrae Carter said...

    I totally agree with you! I think the only reality show I would ever go on if I had the chance would be the REAL WORLD. But other than that NAH!

  36. So Not Mom-a-licious said...

    Not trying to hijack your post here, but here is how I feel about Man vs Wild. Please keep in mind it was not too long ago, and I still wasn't sure about blogging.

    http://sonothotmama.blogspot.com/2008/11/man-vs-wild.html

  37. Ann(ie) said...

    I'm with you...NO survivor for me. I think the only one I'd consider is wife swap....hehe.....but, they'd stick my hubby with a republican woman and he'd probably want to keep her. ;)

  38. Elaine A. said...

    I'm a singer and generally a "ham" at times so I might have tried for A.I. if it had started several year earlier. I say "might" because Simon just seems SO intimidating!

    Fun post!

  39. lmt1073 said...

    I'm addicted to reality tv... lol.. the bachelor, american idol, etc... but if i had to pick one to be on, it would probably be big brother... love that show!!!

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