Living in the Pacific time zone, everyone else already knows the outcome of The Bachelor.
And, I'm starting the show 30 minutes later so I have some fast-forwarding ability on our DVR.
Now, my friends, the play-by-play of the show.
"a few weeks ago I didn't know these girls ever existed, now one will be my wife."
--wow, the quote to tell your grandkids, Jake.
--nice pink shirt.
--Jake's brother looks just like him, maybe he should liquor-up the runner-up and set them up together.
--I said up 3 times in that sentence.
--If I was Jake's mom, I'd ask Tenley, "is that your real voice or are you a Disney Princess?"
--I'd also ask her, "are you really over your ex?!"
--His parents are SO smitten with Tenley...can't wait what they say about Vienna.
--Jake told his parents, Vienna was the girl no one liked, way to start the relationship.
--Mom says "sister-in-laws" too much.
an aside...so something that bugs me is that Vienna is always shown in a negative light, she isn't the nicest girl in the world, I get that. But, they edit these even worse to make you think she has GOT to get the boot. BUT, if she doesn't, it's really just mean, right?!
--So nice to see Jake's mother and SIL admit they judged Vienna at first, THEN got to know her...
--Sulfur Springs...stinky, muddy, hot!
--Um. Get a room!
--Vienna's dad gave her a promise ring?
--HOW will she sleep with that obnoxious bird outside her cottage?
--Checking out on his date with Tenley.
--Whoa, did he just dump her on the boat?
--Way to back pedal.
--Okay, now I'm confused.
--Jake's pained face is goofy.
--Are they filming Vienna in the shower?
--AYE, those earrings!
--First one off the helicopter...Tenley!
--Hardest goodbye ever.
--WHAT? Kate Gosselin on Dancing with the Stars! Who is going to watch the kids? Jon?
--Could Jake look a little more excited.
--Got pretty hairy there for a minute!
--Okay. I admit it, I'm in tears!
Vienna said "yes" by the way.
--I almost forgot about "After the Final Rose."
--Let's just take Tenley's heart out and put it in a shredder.
--OMG...Jake is going to be on Dancing with the Stars?!
--Sorry, since I'm blogging, I'm not speeding through the commercials like I usually do.
--Um, Tenley, drop it.
--"Vienna's my baby!" Chris almost spit, trying to hold back his laughter.
--Vienna got her roots done.
--The audience is awfully quiet.
--More gifts from ABC, they're going back to St. Lucia for their honeymoon.
--Jeffrey Osborne singing "On the Wings of Love" has got to be the cheesiest ending ever!
--Okay, I admit it, I'm crying AGAIN.