The Bachelor: The Most Dramatic Season Finale...tonight

I'm trying so hard to avoid all social media right now.

Living in the Pacific time zone, everyone else already knows the outcome of The Bachelor.

And, I'm starting the show 30 minutes later so I have some fast-forwarding ability on our DVR.

Now, my friends, the play-by-play of the show.

"a few weeks ago I didn't know these girls ever existed, now one will be my wife."
--wow, the quote to tell your grandkids, Jake.

--nice pink shirt.

--Jake's brother looks just like him, maybe he should liquor-up the runner-up and set them up together.

--I said up 3 times in that sentence.

--If I was Jake's mom, I'd ask Tenley, "is that your real voice or are you a Disney Princess?"

--I'd also ask her, "are you really over your ex?!"

--His parents are SO smitten with Tenley...can't wait what they say about Vienna.

--Jake told his parents, Vienna was the girl no one liked, way to start the relationship.



--Mom says "sister-in-laws" too much.

an something that bugs me is that Vienna is always shown in a negative light, she isn't the nicest girl in the world, I get that. But, they edit these even worse to make you think she has GOT to get the boot. BUT, if she doesn't, it's really just mean, right?!

--So nice to see Jake's mother and SIL admit they judged Vienna at first, THEN got to know her...

--Sulfur Springs...stinky, muddy, hot!

--Um. Get a room!

--Vienna's dad gave her a promise ring?

--HOW will she sleep with that obnoxious bird outside her cottage?

--Checking out on his date with Tenley.

--Whoa, did he just dump her on the boat?

--Way to back pedal.

--Okay, now I'm confused.

--Jake's pained face is goofy.

--Are they filming Vienna in the shower?

--Nice rings.

--AYE, those earrings!

--First one off the helicopter...Tenley!

--Oh crap.


--Hardest goodbye ever.

--WHAT? Kate Gosselin on Dancing with the Stars! Who is going to watch the kids? Jon?

--Could Jake look a little more excited.

--Got pretty hairy there for a minute!

--Okay. I admit it, I'm in tears!

Vienna said "yes" by the way.
--I almost forgot about "After the Final Rose."

--Let's just take Tenley's heart out and put it in a shredder.

--OMG...Jake is going to be on Dancing with the Stars?!

--Sorry, since I'm blogging, I'm not speeding through the commercials like I usually do.

--Um, Tenley, drop it.

--"Vienna's my baby!" Chris almost spit, trying to hold back his laughter.

--Vienna got her roots done.

--The audience is awfully quiet.

--More gifts from ABC, they're going back to St. Lucia for their honeymoon.

--Jeffrey Osborne singing "On the Wings of Love" has got to be the cheesiest ending ever!

--Okay, I admit it, I'm crying AGAIN.

9 supporters in group:

  1. Keyona said...

    Favorite part: ....Who is going to watch the kids? Jon? Hilarious!

  2. Jessica said...

    I still don't like Vienna. I just can't get over that! And, I hated that he kept saying, "She's just so sexy!" DUDE. Are you seeing what I'm seeing?!

  3. life in the mom lane said...

    They deserve each other... his "aw shucks" attitude wore thin by the end... lets be for real... for whatever reason his pecker did the pickin'

    I give it 6 monthes MAX.

  4. The Mom Jen said...

    LMAO at all the comments! For the record, I cry at all proposals, disfunctional or not.

  5. kirsten said...

    I generally cry at proposals, weddings and births. (Why I had to stop watching TLC in the daytime)

    but tough to cry when you know they're gonna break up in 6 mos.

  6. Cajoh said...

    Love your blow by blow color commentary throughout. I know exactly which part of the show you are talking about.

    Take a peek at this 6 months from now after the Bachelorette is finished and see if you still know what your comments mean.

    Thanks for sharing,

  7. Messy Mommy said...

    Hahahahaha! Loved the commercial breaks. I immediately noticed Vienna's roots too. I'll accept it when there's an actual wedding. Won't happen.

  8. Mrs4444 said...

    It was nauseating...from Day 1, really.

  9. Jennifer-Eighty MPH Mom said...

    LOL - your thoughts were exactly my thoughts! What do you think about Allie being the next Bachelorette?

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