Dumps.

It's been one of those weeks.

I don't have much inspiration to write, just trucking along with all the normal business of our lives.

Thinking of the family who will memorialize their son, grandson, nephew, cousin, friend tonight, then bury him tomorrow.

As a parent you just can't fathom a loss of a child, a 9 year old.

I look at my kids everyday and am blessed they are here with me. It's scary to think that anyone can lose that feeling of security, of life, breathing, talking, playing. I never want to know how it feels.

My over-protective style of parenting doesn't come with any guarantees.
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My parents are in Cabo.

I'm used to talking to my mom everyday. She's called once in the week she's been gone. It's strange. During this time of loss, the distance between her and I is painful. I need a backup.

But, my selfishness is trumped by the tone in her voice when she called. She and my dad and their friends are having the time of their lives. Vacation. Relaxation. Sun. Mexican food. Beaches. They deserve it.
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Why does everything happen on one day?

Today, both of my children's schools have Open House. Same town, opposite ends, same time6-7pm. Plus, dance photos starting after school running through 7-8pm. K has two shots, DQ has 7.

Then the memorial service from 5-8pm. Sure if there was 4 of me, no problem.
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It's no secret that anxiety and depression have been a part of my life. Certain times it flares up and you want to stay in bed all day.

I need a sign... the sun would be great on this dreary foggy day.

Hubby needs a sign that the economy will turn around or that his job situation will improve.

My Boy needs a sign that after going 0-9, his baseball team will win at least one game.

DQ needs a sign that these last two back-to-back ear infections that happened after swimming won't make the summer a pool-less misery.

.....

.....

This patience thing....not my strong suit.

9 supporters in group:

  1. WeaselMomma said...

    I wish I could make this all better, but I can't. No one can.
    Take a breath.
    Say a prayer & give your worries over.
    Do the best you can today.
    Have some chocolate. Lots of it.

  2. Rachel said...

    BIG {{{hugs}}}}, Jen. :(

    I can't imagine attending a funeral for a child -- I don't want to imagine it. I'm so sorry there is so much going on at once.

  3. Amy Amy Bo Bamey said...

    Hang in there girl! (((((HUGS))))))

    My son's team was also not doing too well but we seemed to have hit a streak now at the end. We are 1-Tie 10-Losses 4-Wins, now we head into playoffs, hopefully we can go far? Fingers Crossed, the boys finally have some confidence.

  4. Bree Shaw said...

    sounds like a crummy week. i am with you on the depression deal. i just recently went back on some medicine for it. i had a hysterectomy a year and half ago and they put me on the meds several months ago. i got better and decided i didn't need the medicine.... boy was i wrong. but why all the side effects that come along with it?? hoping the new medicine changes the side effects.

    i can not even imagine what those parents are going through. i too hope that i never have to know what that feeling is like. prayers to that family.

    hang in there girl! the sun is sure to shine soon:)

  5. Ranch Girl said...

    Definitely sounds like a hard week for you. Let's look toward the weekend in the not so distant future with Deb and Mer and a movei and perhaps Monterey ...

  6. Michelle said...

    Sorry to hear you are having such a rough week.

    At least it is almost the weekend which hopefully will bring you a little break. Unless of course your weekends are like mine and filled to the brim with activities.

  7. SueMac said...

    Here's a ((((((BIG HUG)))))) for you.

  8. Merrie said...

    I like Lisa's comment. Plus you should remember you can call me (or her)anytime day or night. Much love to you my wonderful beautiful friend.

  9. sheila said...

    Sending virtual hugs 2U.

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