Channeling My Inner Mama Bear

Last week my son was bullied.

From one of the neighborhood kids.

Only a year older, we've known him for a while, he was on our baseball team a few years back as well.

All summer the kids have been hanging with the neighbors and nothing has come up.

Well, nothing non-sibling related.

My Boy is uber-sensitive.  He came home in tears last week and said of of the boys choked him.

My mama-bear mode came out and growled, WHAT?!  WHO?!

I heard the name and I was seething.  Through the tears I got a half-baked story, though I was not there.

I stomped into the kitchen to tell Hubby to get out there and find that kid.

He wouldn't.  Some facking man-code or something.  Boys will be boys.

UM NOT.

If you don't go out there, I will, and it will not be pretty.

Remember, I enjoy fighting young boys!

Husband would not budge.  I think that's RIDICULOUS and I internally boil.

I have to wait about 5-10 minutes for my own time-out so I don't charge the kid.

Finally, I go out and call for the kid.  He and another kid are next door.

They come over and I calmly try not to rip his head off ask him what the HELL happened.

I get the other half of the half-baked story and I say, "so you weren't being malicious?" A nod no. So I have two stories that don't sound alike in any way.

Again, I was not there.

Bottom line, this kid is on my shit list.

It could have been a total misunderstanding, but he still didn't come over and see how my boy was or say anything related to sorry.

Boy or not, that isn't cool.

I did ask my son, "well did you shove him back, yell at him to let go, defend yourself?" Not hoping that he'd turn evil on his ass, but come on.

He replied, "no mom, I don't want to be a bad kid!"

Sobbing. I had to go to the other room and cry. Yes, I'm raising my son like I want to. Yes, he is a sensitive sweet boy. No he's never had an enemy.

Secretly, yes, I still sort of hoped he'd turn around and slug him back. My boy may be younger but he's a foot taller than him almost.

No, not my shining moment in my mind, but dammit I am my child's advocate.  I will NOT stand for this shit.

People say I should have spoke with the boy's parents.  Truth be told, apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  I know they would hardly care and probably laugh behind my back.

There were no marks.  Believe me, if there had been, the police would also have been involved.  10 year olds can turn into delinquents at any age.

We haven't been home for a few days, haven't seen the boys.  Will my son go back out and be friendly with them?  I've only told him to make the right choices.  But, also continue to let us know if something inappropriate happens.

Ugh.

11 supporters in group:

  1. kristi said...

    I posted about this very thing in my autism blog recently. Ugh.

  2. Tara R. said...

    Maybe it's a mom thing, but I hate that 'boys will be boys' excuse. Boys don't have to be little shits. They can play rough, they can be scrapers, but they need to know right from wrong, and not to be bullies.

    Just remember, a good head butt to the nose is highly under-rated... just kidding... sorta.

  3. Totally_Toni said...

    I feel ya sista, you reacted exactly how I would have :)

  4. Courtney said...

    I say right on for having the sanity to keep your cool cause i would have been out there raising 3 diffrent kinds of h-e-double hockey sticks.

    I try to raise non-violent children but i have also told my children to defend themselves. I will not tolerate them being a punching bag for anyone. Phabian has an incident just the other day at football practice where a fellow player kept pushing him. I watched closely and Phabian told him 3 times to stop before he finallyturned around and shoved the kid to the ground. I couldnt have been more of a proud mama because he gave it time, patience, and in the end stood up for himself.

  5. Nicki said...

    Hi there. Newly following your blog. My son was bullied as well...BY HIS BITCH OF A TEACHER! I can completely understand the Mother Bear in you as I drove to the school to kill the teacher in front of the class. I ended up turning around at the door and took it up with the principal. For 2 years, that woman bullied my son (she continued even after he was in the next grade and out of her class). I finally told him, "the next time she talks to you, tell her that if she has a problem, she can take it up with your mother. Until then, she needs to leave you alone. Then go straight to the principal's office to tell her what happened." Poor kid. Thank God he is in middle school now and away from that old hag.

  6. Joanna said...

    I don't buy the "boys will be boys" either. We do the same as Courtney and explain how to defuse a situation, give chances, but after a while enough is enough. It's the way my husband was raised and we chose to do the same. How it works out, I don't know yet. My son is only 2 :-)

  7. Jennifer said...

    Well, now the little shit knows that you've got your kids' back, so I'm sure he'll think twice next time. It really does make a difference!

  8. Mozi Esme said...

    We've got a girl that hits in my child's daycare, and I've been debating how I want my 3yo daughter to handle it. True - in a school setting, if she hits back, she'll get in as much trouble as the initiator. So, do I want her to be a tattler, or just suck it up, or tell the girl off, or what?! It starts all too young...

  9. Mom said...

    OMG, I got the "boys will be boys line" once. Grrrrr. Pissed me right off, too. Keep fighting mama!

    Life...EXAGGERATED is back

  10. Michelle said...

    I have mixed feelings about this having a 10 year old boy myself.

    B is a good kid but I don't doubt if someone hit him he would hit them back. I try to let kids work out their own disagreements amongst themselves until it gets physical. There are some punk boys who live a couple streets over and I've told the kid to stop hitting and cussing more than once and he was doing it to my nieghbor not my kid.

    I don't like tween or teen kids acting like jerks, espcially in my yard or in front of my house and I am not afraid to tell them to stop or march down to their parents house if need be.

  11. Maria Berg said...

    Hope it will not happen again, MB

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