Just Call Me Eufegenia Doubtfire, Dear.

It's official, i'm 80 years old.

Although it's not mathematically possible, my bones say otherwise.

And, yes 80 is a stretch.

Would you buy 50?

The bones in my lower back, are age 50.

I'm 38.

Explains why there are days when I feel that a good scooter chair or cane would help.

I have osteoarthritis and some degeneration going on with my L5.

It's been causing me pain for weeks now, even when we were in Hawaii, which sucked.

I have psoriasis, and psoriatic arthritis is a relative that can show up at any time.

Yeah, I hate when that happens literally and figuratively.

So that combined with some bone spurs in my pelvis and pubic bone, I've aged 12 years in less than a month.

Oh and lets not forget, childbirth makes things worse in the old bones down there.

No wonder my labors were bound to split me in two.

How's that for magic Criss Angel?

So this crap sucks.

I'm taking Glucosamine and will be starting yoga.

So let's recap all the geriatric words I've used today:

OsteoArthritis
Bone Spur
Glucosamine
Psoriatic Arthritis
Degeneration
L5

I wasn't really aware where my L5 was until today.

I asked the doctor, "any relation to Maroon 5?!" and he had NO IDEA what the hell I was talking about.

So I'm old.

Older than I thought.

To celebrate my 50th birthday,I'm going to have a tall glass of Ensure Budweiser and watch Lawrence Welk So You Think You Can Dance.

Cheers.

It anyone comments about better being over the hill than under it gets a kick to the ass.

10 supporters in group:

  1. Liz said...

    If it helps any, my husband had a spinal fusion (major back surgery) of L4 & L5 in 2006. He was 33 at the time.

    Isn't aging a bitch?

  2. Mommy Fabulous said...

    Ugh! Sound like you're having a hard time there! Don't you wish life had a REFRESH button!?!?

  3. The Mom Jen said...

    Yes and YES! :(

  4. CaJoh said...

    I think I've been feeling older than I am lately. Don't want to go to the doctor to find out just how much older my body really is.

    The best of skill in managing this.

  5. Merrie said...

    Dislike!
    I'm sorry you're feeling so bad -- like you need that! Anytime you want to come sit on my couch, have a glass of wine and enjoy some friendship, you know you're welcome. <3

  6. Hollowsins said...

    I feel the same way..fbromyalgia is a pain in the ass and most days I feel like checking in to the nearest nursing home..best wishes to you and hope you find some relief!

  7. Melanie said...

    well you can't be THAT old since you referenced Maroon 5 ha ha. Sorry you're in pain. Hopefully the yoga will help you feel better!

  8. vferrari63 said...

    Sounds like everything is going wonderful. My son and I have fibromyalgia and I clean houses for a living so I know how some days can be harder to get through than others. It's harder truthfully on me to watch my 20 year old son be in such pain and to see how this disease has limited what he can do now. We do trust in God though and that does get us through each day.

    vferrari63@gmail.com

  9. MTgunfighter said...

    You writing is very good in all your posts...

    Money was always an issue in my life, my wife always drove a 300 class Mercedes every year and I got a new Porsche every year. Eventually, I figured that working 80-100 hours was not worth anything.

    So, I quit. I went from making in the mid six figures to making less than $25,000. I had a hard time, at first, especially staying away from car dealers. But, somewhere along the line, I realized NOTHING is worth making payments on.

    My wife still wanted the Mercedes, so we got divorced. Interestingly, she hasn't found another sugar daddy, drives a 20 year old car and stocks shelves all night at Walmart. I still, kind of, love her and feel sorry that things didn't work out for her.

    My point, money isn't everything. Actually, once you meet your needs, (every hear of Maslow's Heirachy of Needs?), for basic things. The rest just works it out some times.

    When we get used to living a certain way and that way is taken from us, there is this huge vacuum. You have spent your life being one way - and now you are expected to be another way. And you don't know how.

    I did it voluntarily and it was very difficult. I can't imagine doing it involuntarily.

    -------------

    Age presents a paradox. Even though I am much older, I just can't imagine myself being older than 26.

    When someone points out that I am, in fact over 50, I immediately ignore them... LOL

    The open heart surgery I had a couple of years ago to replace a defective heart valve give me a new lease on life. And I took as much as I could.

    Tuesday, I find out whether I have leukemia or some other blood dyscrazia.

    If I do, I am out of here. If I don't, I am still, probably out of here. I am not going to sit around and cry about it. I am heading for the hills to enjoy EVERY day I have left.

    Things can get crazy in a lot of ways. But, that does not have to effect who you are. Money doesn't define us. We define it.

    I am a strong believer that when God closes one door, he opens another for us.

    I hope this helps put things in persepective...

  10. lewalk said...

    It's life. Ugh. I will be 35 next month and most days I feel 90 rolling out of bed. I was trapped under a flipped car 10 years ago and it did a number on my body so I understand. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you but I don't. Sorry. I just get up and do the best I can, which most days is pretty darn good. Good luck and feel better soon.


    lewalk(at)hotmail(dot)com

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