Dreams and Reality.

I had a horrible dream last night and it's clear why.

As we were settling in for the evening I saw "earthquake" and Japan in my Twitter feed.

My emergency alert antennae were activated and I immediately turned CNN on and was floored.

Not only was the earthquake reported at EIGHT POINT NINE off the coast of Honshu, but I was watching near live footage of a tsunami flooding the island like some horror movie.

I was literally watching lives being lost and the destruction made me nauseous but I was so captivated I couldn't turn away either.

I watched Twitter and CNN and Facebook and the NYTimes website all night, I couldn't sleep. 

Then when I did, I was a top a hotel in San Diego.

The kids were swimming in the ocean and I was watching them from the roof. 

Then the earth shook, the hotel shook.

In circles.

Like when you swirl wine in a glass.

The ocean turned into a tsunami and I watched the kids taken inland with the rush of water.

The hotel I was on collapsed and I am sure I was going to die.

I didn't. 

I landed inside the hotel restaurant where I saw my brother playing poker.

I was frantic searching and looking and crying and shrieking for my kids.

I don't remember seeing my husband there, but I heard his voice.

I found a pool where there were people who were rescued, but my children were not there.

I felt empty and alone.

Then I woke to K giggling and my son singing, "one more day to my birthday, one more day to my birthday!"

Then I heard the SLAM of the bathroom door as my oldest does best.

Everyone was okay. 

My husband snoring softly beside me.

It was 6am.

I remember the dream so vividly and was so depressed.

Yet so incredibly happy it was only that.  A dream.

The Japan quake and tsunami not a dream.

News back on, Twitter feed rolling. 

Warnings for Hawaii and the West Coast.

We are safe. 

Though so many are not.

Bad dreams suck, but real life sometimes sucks more.