Toddler Swap

Seriously.

Who swapped my sweet-faced toddler with this tantrum-ing version of Chuckie!?

Some of you not familiar with Child's Play from the late 80's early 90's are all..WHA!?

Yeah, the rest of you may know what I mean.

My 3 and a half year old chubby-cheeked-ball of preciousness has turned into a little monster.

Holy bejeezus.

Someone doesn't like to be told no.

If by chance she asks something like, "can I have candy for bweckfist?!" and you tell her in your sweetest mommy voice, "sorry honey, that's not quite healthy" she turns into this tantrum-tornado who then likes to mouth-off, "THEN I DON'T LOVE YOU!"

Ouch.

You don't know how much that hurts.

Truly, I know it's just out of frustration and toddler determination, but man, just rip my heart out and serve it with fava beans and chianti why don't you?!

Another (probably incorrect) movie reference....Silence of the Lambs...come on keep up.

Anyway.

After I tell my sweet K, "oh man, that wasn't very nice to say" she continues to stoke her own fire by yelling the next threat, "well then I'm going to bite my Thumbert!"

Oh great, now she's inflicting pain on herself.

Fabulous.

How many years of therapy is this going to take!?

Still not going to let me mom? This next, "then I'm going to throw this juice cup across the room!" and not care if it hits anyone or anything!

Holy crap, who is this kid!?

And, boy do we need to channel that pitching arm into softball in a few years!

So, great, now what.

I lucked out with all 3 of my kids that they all skipped the Terrible Twos.

How did I get such angels, I'd ask the heavens.

But, each one of them has had this phase at three that truly makes me want to run away and join the circus and work with man-eating lions.

Hubby knows better to ask about my day lately.

If he comes home and I've locked myself in the bathroom to avoid getting hit by a sippy, he can figure out what's been happening.

I double-check with the preschool teachers to make sure all is okay there and she isn't stealing kids' snack or pouring sand down anyone's shirt.

She's a gem, they say.

Yaya says when she's at her house, she's fine, loving as ever.

Super.

It's just for me.

I'm so lucky.

If you stop by and I'm wearing ear plugs and a helmet, you'll know why.

17 supporters in group:

  1. Heather B. said...

    Totally sounds like my house with Kendall right now! At least we are in good company, well if we were with each other and not with our CRAZY toddlers!! ;) I say that with all the love possible!

    Oh and he ate liver with fava beans! But heart sounds better in a non-cannibal, gross way! I'm just sayin'!

  2. Bethany W. said...

    My 3 year old daughter does the same thing. When I tell her "no", she'll say "fine, I don't love you then or what the one that really tugs at my heart strings "i'm not gonna your daughta' anymore".

  3. Julia@SometimesLucid said...

    That's the reason I dread early November. They still remember about the candy, and turn in to "The Bride of Chuckie" when they can't have candy for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack!

  4. Chrissy MacCEO said...

    I hear ya! I feel like my daughter is constantly bribing me against my will some days! Do this Mommy OR....and sometimes, it's easier to just DO what she wants then to deal with the aftermath. She is turning 3....guess it really is teh age.

  5. Tiffany said...

    She's your friend til the end. Hidey Ho! LOL

    Well when my 6 year old gets in trouble he says "You probably don't like me anymore" oh and "You're MEAN!". Yea I feel great right about then. LOL

  6. Krystyn said...

    Whoever took her over, got Isabelle, too! She keeps telling me "you hurt my feelings!" Huh? I told you to clean up your mess.

    Fun.

  7. Swirl Girl said...

    Don't you just love it when you're kids save their 'best' just for you??

  8. noisycolorfullively said...

    Amazing... I just left my current three yearl old exhausted in his bed after I had to chase him down, attempt to maintain some composure as I hauled his squirmy, surprisingly strong little body to his room all the while he tried to kick me in the face. There's still a ringing in my ears... all because I said: Ok buddy, nap time!

    Then I sat down, picked up my computer and read your post.

    Seriously. And, uh yeah. No one believes he acts this way. I need a good cry and a drink!

  9. Tenakim said...

    mine's actually gotten over that bad phase so there's hope for you... however, my 5yr old neice told me yesterday, in her best insult voice, "You are NOT the prom Queen!"

  10. Michelle said...

    B had terrible 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 year old phase. He started early :-) and I thought I was just spoiled with the easiest baby, who was happy and slept wonderfully. If I only knew what was coming.

    Wyn was definitely a terrible 3 year old!

    FiFi didn't have a "terrible" stage but she is really shy, and passive. She mainly went through a "crying" phase, where no matter what you asked her to do she cried and acted sad. I guess that sounds like a tantrum without the screaming. She has done this for the past 4 years so some of it is her personality.

  11. Mama Kat said...

    IPods work wonders at times like that. And I'm not kidding. I put mine on when I'm cleaning and I barely hear my children...it makes them SO mad...and I don't care. :)

  12. Tiffany said...

    I love your blog - Left blogging for awhile and have recently returned... Anyway, I love this post! Both of my boys were like different children when they were three. Two was nothing compared to three and you are so right - It is like they are "out of body" at times. My little guy turns four next week and I just pray that the out of body experiences die down a bit!

  13. Janel@Dandelion Dayz said...

    3 was my hardest age as a mommy. Terrible 2's are nothing compared to 3.

    Good thing is that they will turn 4! Good luck until then. ;)

  14. Rose ~ RedNeckWitch ~ said...

    I think I'd like to go back to 3 with my now teen son. Yes, I'm pretty sure I do. lol

  15. Mrs. Schmitty said...

    It's not the terrible twos...at least it never was here...but 3's?!! Lookout!!!

    So, yea, I know where you are coming from. Just keep in mind...it will pass!!

  16. Mel Fraase said...

    I totally hear ya! I didn't really have terrible two's here, but holy crap were the three's bad. Some days. Then they snap back to nice for a day or two.. All I can say is good luck!!!

  17. because I said so said...

    Oh I always say there's no such thing as the terrible two's....it's three for sure!

    Big One was the sweetest two year old you'd ever come across...but three was another story altogether...I wasn't even sure I LIKED her at that stage. It was a miserable time. But alas, she turned 4 and all was right with the world again (mostly)


    Catching up....been taking a break from the bloggy world...nice to be back...forgot how much I love your blog and others too....it's a great part of the day

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