Communicating with a Tween

Sometimes I wonder where my kids get their sassiness and smart-alec answers. Well, I don't wonder that hard since we kinda use sarcasm alot. But, DQ is definately getting to the pre-teen stage. There's drama, emotion, the 'TUDE has begun. Here's what it's like around here daily....and how I typically respond.

-----I'm bored.
So am I.
-----How do I make money?
I'd give you an allowance if you'd actually do something around the house.
-----It's not fair.
Life's not always fair.
-----Tell him/her to stop!
You can use your words and ask them to stop.
-----I want my own room.
Start building. Oh and get a job to pay for it.
-----There's nothing to do.
You have rooms full of stuff and you can't find one thing to do?
-----Why can't I play on the computer?
I said no screen-time.
-----I need new clothes.
So do I. (and I just bought you some!)
-----Can we build a pool.
No. Yaya has one a mile away.
-----Why do I have to clean up my room?
Because you made the mess.
-----I took a shower yesterday!
And, you're dirty today.
-----I'm hungry.
Make a __________(enter 90% of all foods here).
-----But I don't like _________ (90% of all foods).

Ironically, sometimes boredom breeds desire-to-learn and DQ has taught herself to sew! She got a sewing machine for her last birthday, but the thread would always jam and she took the machine needles and taught herself the old-fashioned way. (She's since gotten a proper needle and Yaya gave her a thimble). She's made gloves, cell phone pockets, and is currently working on a pillow for My Boy.

Every day she and My Boy ask if they can cut up old shirts and costumes to make new creations. The stuffing for the pillow came from the "muscles" part of My Boy's old Power Ranger costume!

There's hope.

Updated....hope is often short-lived. She is SO BORED now that she's making her birthday party invite list and her birthday is in NOVEMBER.

2nd Update....she just discovered that her old Daisy Girl Scout vest had like 14 patches pinned on (okay I don't sew!) and has begun sewing the petals on!! Etsy shop here we come LOL!!

42 supporters in group:

  1. Chandra said...

    That sounds SO familiar! I always say, "Boring people get bored." They HATE that reply! :)

  2. Bahama Shores Mama said...

    Are you sure you weren't just listening to my kids and I communicate?? I swear we have the same convos!!!!

  3. A Crafty Mom said...

    Yikes, I feel for you. I'm not looking forward to that phase. I remember being like that at that age . . . and it lasted for years. My poor parents!!!

  4. ugagirl30 said...

    Sewing is great. And you can really make some money doing it. Maybe by the time she is my age, she'll be really productive with it--and maybe she'll have a sewing machine. Sewing big things by hand would be a be-yotch.

  5. Tenakim said...

    I hear most of those complaints EVERYDAY- 2 of mine are like tweens (well one's a real full- fledged teen, but he's a boy)! I respond very similarily- I use "that's too bad" a lot- that one really pisses them off!

    I'm so impressed with the self starter in her- and making a pillow for her brother??? How sweet!!!

  6. Miss Lisa said...

    She could so hang out with my tween--they sound exactly alike all the way down to the sewing machine and hand sewn pillow--seriously!
    My answer to boredom--oh I've got tons of fun stuff
    1.mop the kitchen floor.
    2. do some math summer work
    3. do your summer book reports
    4. clean your closet

    She doesn't say 'bored' as much ;)

  7. Mrs4444 said...

    Oh, we all know where you're coming from on the summer boredom thing! I have one idea that she might be interested in; when I was a kid (budding teacher), my friend and I planned and organized a neighborhood "preschool" program, in which we invited 3's and 4's to come over for an hour or so for a little program we set up. We red stories, played in the sprinkler, had a little snack, and did a craft. I think we held it 2-3 times. Parents loved it, and it kept us busy. I think we might have charged a dollar or something. We also made a little "carnival" with games for little kids. It was a lot of fun.

  8. Amy said...

    She is a real cutie!
    My two girls are bored everyday. When I was their age, I always found something to do, but we had imaginations back then. These days kids depend on something or someone to entertain them.

  9. Ruth said...

    It's funny how they CAN'T WAIT for summer, then get so bored the CAN'T WAIT for school to start back! I remember feeling the same way!

  10. Ali said...

    What a great hobby!

    Let her learn how to knit scarves and she can set up her own etsy shop!

  11. Tami said...

    That is too funny! Love the update!

  12. Tena said...

    Ack!! You can try to find comfort that many mom's are already suffering from this! I am ready for school to start, than they will have something to do.... it's called homework! LOL

    P.S. I tagged you for a meme, if you want to do it

  13. Jill said...

    We have the sassiness down pat - and we're only 5 years old! I shudder to think at what I'm going to hear in 5 more years!

    Wow - so your daughter sews? That's pretty darned amazing. I'm impressed!

  14. Clare said...

    Jen, this is too funny! I love the sewing projects...

    Did you watch the bachlorette last night? What did you think?

  15. Anonymous said...

    I love how you are taking the tween-age with a big dose of sarcasm and a fun sense of humor - it will save your life during the teen years :~)

  16. Genny said...

    I hear you on the "90% of all foods" one! Big time.

  17. Alice said...

    Yeah - I force my kids from the electronic stuff during the summer, they go through the boredom phase and then seem to get creative. It definitely pays off!

  18. Alice said...

    Yeah - I force my kids from the electronic stuff during the summer, they go through the boredom phase and then seem to get creative. It definitely pays off!

  19. Momo Fali said...

    This makes me feel better. I am not alone. Only, my daughter won't even finish the needlepoint kit I bought her six months ago...

  20. Insane Mama said...

    I think sewing is something that just takes the right type of personality, I like to sew, but I have to be in the right state of mind.

  21. Kristen Andrews said...

    funny. I am not looking forward to the tween years but my 2.5 yr old has a lot of sass also!

  22. Jenny said...

    I think Chloe and DQ would be BEST FRIENDS! They could say all of those things to eachother and leave us the heck alone!!!
    Chloe has a sewing machine and I have yet to commit to helping her learn. I guess I need to suck it up and just do it!

  23. Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

    I am so not looking forward to those years, although I do have some time. For the time being, I'm thinking of breaking out the lacing beads I bought for MH - that will be our start on sewing!

    Good for DQ - if she starts such a great hobby now, who knows what she'll be doing in a few years!

    BTW, LOVING the India version of Heart of the Matter. Her voice gives me chills.

  24. Amy said...

    This is my first time on your site...& I must say that the 'So I Creep' lyrics on the downlow in the background are hittin it'. Is that phrase still cool?

  25. Mommy Meryl said...

    I usually have lots of patience, but for some reason "I'm bored" just gets to me. So even though Allie is just almost 6, my answer to "I'm bored" is usually "okay, let's start getting rid of all your stuff - books, webkinz, dressup, leapster, crafts, games, jump ropes. . ." - sometimes I have to list 100s of things before she gets the point. But I'm telling you, that one gets to me! :-)

  26. Anonymous said...

    now if you are able to deliver those answers rapid fire one after another and not start screaming...please please please tell me your secret!

  27. Anti-Supermom said...

    I remember being your daughter and now I'm counting the days until I get to face summer vacation. So funny!

    And PVSD was hillarious~

  28. Real Life Sarah said...

    My kids have been complaining all summer about having nothing to do, what they don't get, and being bored. It got so bad that today, I took all their toys away. I told them that they needed to feel what it was really like to not have anything. Then, when they were thankful for what they did have, they could earn back one toy a day. On one hand. I feel like a bad mom, but on the other hand, I think this just might work... for a while.

  29. Meg said...

    I love a happy ending!!!

  30. Kelly said...

    Perhaps you were talking to my daughter Lily, because I swear we have that same conversation every freaking day...
    but in between each question fill in about 15 minutes of arguing and screaming with her brother..then back to the annoying "I'm bored" conversations we have on a daily basis..
    oh so fun..
    47 days until school starts..(not that I was counting or anything)

  31. The Buntens said...

    Oh, I don't sew either!

    When my friends boys say they are bored over and over or that they have nothing to do, she makes them sit at the kitchen table for 5 minutes with nothing to do and they can't talk. Then she says, "Now that is nothing to do. Go find something to do."

    They usually do!

  32. Wendi said...

    I. am. there.

    Maybe we should start a support group for Moms of Tweens.

    I nominate you President.

    Glad to see some good come of the boredom.

  33. Anonymous said...

    Ugh. We have a few of those convos at the Pie House and my daughter's only FOUR. Can't WAIT.

    How awesome that she's taken up sewing though -- now she can MAKE a new wardrobe when she says she needs new clothes.

    Yeah. Probably wouldn't go over well.

  34. Caroline said...

    I am getting the same "tude" around here! I so wish I had my best friend's Mothers (huh!) raising eyebrow. The eyebrow would strike the fear of god in you. No words were said...just the eyebrow... You didn't mess with the eyebrow. It had the power to stop all the attitude, whining, and complaining in it's tracks.

  35. carrie said...

    Oh, the joys of tweenagers!

    And I am totally digging this "Forgiveness" song - I knew all the words . . . imagine that! Now I feel old, because songs I grew up with are being redone all the time . . . waaaaaah!

    How about that Bachelorette? That was sure a surprise to me! But I am happy for them, just wish I was single so I could help poor Jason get over his broken heart . . . since he's local and all! :)

  36. Rebecca said...

    Tweens.....such lovely creaturs they are.
    Jarod is such a mouthy little turd at the moment he is inches away from being grounded for LIFE, everything out of his mouth is a complaint...moan....groan or smart arse reply.

    ::sigh::....only about 16 more years of it all and we are free right!! lol

    Cute pillow, and WTG for teaching herself to sew! :)

  37. Buttons and Dots Photography said...

    I have 2 pre-teen girls and I feel your pain! You give just about the same answers I do! That whole "I'm bored" thing makes me the craziest! It all starts with "I'm bored, if you would just get me (enter hippest new toy here) then I wouldn't be bored anymore!". So you buy this thing that stops all boredom and it works! For 2 whole days if you are lucky! Then it is on to the next thing they "just have to have". This is where the extra zero comes in on the cost of raising children! We now have 2 small kiddie pools, one large 4 ft pool, a swingset, a trampoline, bikes, balls, a sprinkler and Nintendo DS...but guess kids are bored!

  38. Darcie said...

    Ha ha! I remember those days as a teenager. The difference was, my mom's responses weren't nearly as clever as yours! Great post. Gives me a lot of perspective 15 years later!

  39. Tiffany said...

    HAHA I was wondering when we would check out each other. As in blogs. LOL You seem to be everywhere that I am. And thanks for telling me what I have to look forward to with my son. I only have 1 but instead of bothering his would-be sibling he bothers me =) Hopefully boys aren't as bitchy as girls. LOL

  40. Sarah McBride said...

    I am so tired of hearing "Im Bored"
    I feel your pain sister.

  41. Unknown said...

    LOL...I was sooo excited for you for about 2 seconds...I feel like I could have had this same conversation at my house...I just told them if the $1000's worth of toys are soooo boring, let's get rid of them, and then I won't have to clean them up.

  42. Rochelle said...

    I couldn't read all 39 comments so I don't know if someone else suggested this...but maybe she could sell some of the "stuff" she doesn't want to play with to make money. She could also make lemonade and sell it AND sell some of her cool sewing projects to make money. Mom could send out an e-mail when the sale happens so friends and fam can come by and drop a few bucks.

    This works for my guys in addition to a promise of a trip to Target to spend some of the cash!

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