Communicating with a Tween
Sometimes I wonder where my kids get their sassiness and smart-alec answers. Well, I don't wonder that hard since we kinda use sarcasm alot. But, DQ is definately getting to the pre-teen stage. There's drama, emotion, the 'TUDE has begun. Here's what it's like around here daily....and how I typically respond.-----I'm bored.
So am I.
-----How do I make money?
I'd give you an allowance if you'd actually do something around the house.
-----It's not fair.
Life's not always fair.
-----Tell him/her to stop!
You can use your words and ask them to stop.
-----I want my own room.
Start building. Oh and get a job to pay for it.
-----There's nothing to do.
You have rooms full of stuff and you can't find one thing to do?
-----Why can't I play on the computer?
I said no screen-time.
-----I need new clothes.
So do I. (and I just bought you some!)
-----Can we build a pool.
No. Yaya has one a mile away.
-----Why do I have to clean up my room?
Because you made the mess.
-----I took a shower yesterday!
And, you're dirty today.
-----I'm hungry.
Make a __________(enter 90% of all foods here).
-----But I don't like _________ (90% of all foods).
Bummer.
Ironically, sometimes boredom breeds desire-to-learn and DQ has taught herself to sew! She got a sewing machine for her last birthday, but the thread would always jam and knot...so she took the machine needles and taught herself the old-fashioned way. (She's since gotten a proper needle and Yaya gave her a thimble). She's made gloves, cell phone pockets, and is currently working on a pillow for My Boy.
Every day she and My Boy ask if they can cut up old shirts and costumes to make new creations. The stuffing for the pillow came from the "muscles" part of My Boy's old Power Ranger costume!
There's hope.
Updated....hope is often short-lived. She is SO BORED now that she's making her birthday party invite list and her birthday is in NOVEMBER.
2nd Update....she just discovered that her old Daisy Girl Scout vest had like 14 patches pinned on (okay I don't sew!) and has begun sewing the petals on!! Etsy shop here we come LOL!!
July 8, 2008 at 5:36 AM
That sounds SO familiar! I always say, "Boring people get bored." They HATE that reply! :)
July 8, 2008 at 5:40 AM
Are you sure you weren't just listening to my kids and I communicate?? I swear we have the same convos!!!!
July 8, 2008 at 5:41 AM
Yikes, I feel for you. I'm not looking forward to that phase. I remember being like that at that age . . . and it lasted for years. My poor parents!!!
July 8, 2008 at 5:45 AM
Sewing is great. And you can really make some money doing it. Maybe by the time she is my age, she'll be really productive with it--and maybe she'll have a sewing machine. Sewing big things by hand would be a be-yotch.
July 8, 2008 at 5:45 AM
I hear most of those complaints EVERYDAY- 2 of mine are like tweens (well one's a real full- fledged teen, but he's a boy)! I respond very similarily- I use "that's too bad" a lot- that one really pisses them off!
I'm so impressed with the self starter in her- and making a pillow for her brother??? How sweet!!!
July 8, 2008 at 6:58 AM
She could so hang out with my tween--they sound exactly alike all the way down to the sewing machine and hand sewn pillow--seriously!
My answer to boredom--oh I've got tons of fun stuff
1.mop the kitchen floor.
2. do some math summer work
3. do your summer book reports
4. clean your closet
She doesn't say 'bored' as much ;)
July 8, 2008 at 7:27 AM
Oh, we all know where you're coming from on the summer boredom thing! I have one idea that she might be interested in; when I was a kid (budding teacher), my friend and I planned and organized a neighborhood "preschool" program, in which we invited 3's and 4's to come over for an hour or so for a little program we set up. We red stories, played in the sprinkler, had a little snack, and did a craft. I think we held it 2-3 times. Parents loved it, and it kept us busy. I think we might have charged a dollar or something. We also made a little "carnival" with games for little kids. It was a lot of fun.
July 8, 2008 at 8:13 AM
She is a real cutie!
My two girls are bored everyday. When I was their age, I always found something to do, but we had imaginations back then. These days kids depend on something or someone to entertain them.
July 8, 2008 at 8:33 AM
It's funny how they CAN'T WAIT for summer, then get so bored the CAN'T WAIT for school to start back! I remember feeling the same way!
July 8, 2008 at 8:48 AM
What a great hobby!
Let her learn how to knit scarves and she can set up her own etsy shop!
July 8, 2008 at 9:50 AM
That is too funny! Love the update!
July 8, 2008 at 10:27 AM
Ack!! You can try to find comfort that many mom's are already suffering from this! I am ready for school to start, than they will have something to do.... it's called homework! LOL
P.S. I tagged you for a meme, if you want to do it
July 8, 2008 at 10:44 AM
We have the sassiness down pat - and we're only 5 years old! I shudder to think at what I'm going to hear in 5 more years!
Wow - so your daughter sews? That's pretty darned amazing. I'm impressed!
July 8, 2008 at 11:24 AM
Jen, this is too funny! I love the sewing projects...
Did you watch the bachlorette last night? What did you think?
Clare
July 8, 2008 at 1:06 PM
I love how you are taking the tween-age with a big dose of sarcasm and a fun sense of humor - it will save your life during the teen years :~)
July 8, 2008 at 1:15 PM
I hear you on the "90% of all foods" one! Big time.
July 8, 2008 at 1:18 PM
Yeah - I force my kids from the electronic stuff during the summer, they go through the boredom phase and then seem to get creative. It definitely pays off!
July 8, 2008 at 1:18 PM
Yeah - I force my kids from the electronic stuff during the summer, they go through the boredom phase and then seem to get creative. It definitely pays off!
July 8, 2008 at 1:23 PM
This makes me feel better. I am not alone. Only, my daughter won't even finish the needlepoint kit I bought her six months ago...
July 8, 2008 at 1:31 PM
I think sewing is something that just takes the right type of personality, I like to sew, but I have to be in the right state of mind.
July 8, 2008 at 1:35 PM
funny. I am not looking forward to the tween years but my 2.5 yr old has a lot of sass also!
July 8, 2008 at 1:36 PM
I think Chloe and DQ would be BEST FRIENDS! They could say all of those things to eachother and leave us the heck alone!!!
Chloe has a sewing machine and I have yet to commit to helping her learn. I guess I need to suck it up and just do it!
July 8, 2008 at 2:11 PM
I am so not looking forward to those years, although I do have some time. For the time being, I'm thinking of breaking out the lacing beads I bought for MH - that will be our start on sewing!
Good for DQ - if she starts such a great hobby now, who knows what she'll be doing in a few years!
BTW, LOVING the India version of Heart of the Matter. Her voice gives me chills.
July 8, 2008 at 4:16 PM
This is my first time on your site...& I must say that the 'So I Creep' lyrics on the downlow in the background are hittin it'. Is that phrase still cool?
July 8, 2008 at 4:33 PM
I usually have lots of patience, but for some reason "I'm bored" just gets to me. So even though Allie is just almost 6, my answer to "I'm bored" is usually "okay, let's start getting rid of all your stuff - books, webkinz, dressup, leapster, crafts, games, jump ropes. . ." - sometimes I have to list 100s of things before she gets the point. But I'm telling you, that one gets to me! :-)
July 8, 2008 at 5:51 PM
now if you are able to deliver those answers rapid fire one after another and not start screaming...please please please tell me your secret!
July 8, 2008 at 6:27 PM
I remember being your daughter and now I'm counting the days until I get to face summer vacation. So funny!
And PVSD was hillarious~
July 8, 2008 at 6:28 PM
My kids have been complaining all summer about having nothing to do, what they don't get, and being bored. It got so bad that today, I took all their toys away. I told them that they needed to feel what it was really like to not have anything. Then, when they were thankful for what they did have, they could earn back one toy a day. On one hand. I feel like a bad mom, but on the other hand, I think this just might work... for a while.
July 8, 2008 at 7:17 PM
I love a happy ending!!!
July 8, 2008 at 7:25 PM
Perhaps you were talking to my daughter Lily, because I swear we have that same conversation every freaking day...
but in between each question fill in about 15 minutes of arguing and screaming with her brother..then back to the annoying "I'm bored" conversations we have on a daily basis..
oh so fun..
47 days until school starts..(not that I was counting or anything)
July 8, 2008 at 8:15 PM
Oh, I don't sew either!
When my friends boys say they are bored over and over or that they have nothing to do, she makes them sit at the kitchen table for 5 minutes with nothing to do and they can't talk. Then she says, "Now that is nothing to do. Go find something to do."
They usually do!
July 8, 2008 at 8:27 PM
I. am. there.
Maybe we should start a support group for Moms of Tweens.
I nominate you President.
Glad to see some good come of the boredom.
July 8, 2008 at 9:14 PM
Ugh. We have a few of those convos at the Pie House and my daughter's only FOUR. Can't WAIT.
How awesome that she's taken up sewing though -- now she can MAKE a new wardrobe when she says she needs new clothes.
Yeah. Probably wouldn't go over well.
July 8, 2008 at 9:46 PM
I am getting the same "tude" around here! I so wish I had my best friend's Mothers (huh!) raising eyebrow. The eyebrow would strike the fear of god in you. No words were said...just the eyebrow... You didn't mess with the eyebrow. It had the power to stop all the attitude, whining, and complaining in it's tracks.
July 8, 2008 at 10:10 PM
Oh, the joys of tweenagers!
And I am totally digging this "Forgiveness" song - I knew all the words . . . imagine that! Now I feel old, because songs I grew up with are being redone all the time . . . waaaaaah!
How about that Bachelorette? That was sure a surprise to me! But I am happy for them, just wish I was single so I could help poor Jason get over his broken heart . . . since he's local and all! :)
July 8, 2008 at 10:21 PM
Tweens.....such lovely creaturs they are.
Jarod is such a mouthy little turd at the moment he is inches away from being grounded for LIFE, everything out of his mouth is a complaint...moan....groan or smart arse reply.
::sigh::....only about 16 more years of it all and we are free right!! lol
Cute pillow, and WTG for teaching herself to sew! :)
July 9, 2008 at 9:06 AM
I have 2 pre-teen girls and I feel your pain! You give just about the same answers I do! That whole "I'm bored" thing makes me the craziest! It all starts with "I'm bored, if you would just get me (enter hippest new toy here) then I wouldn't be bored anymore!". So you buy this thing that stops all boredom and it works! For 2 whole days if you are lucky! Then it is on to the next thing they "just have to have". This is where the extra zero comes in on the cost of raising children! We now have 2 small kiddie pools, one large 4 ft pool, a swingset, a trampoline, bikes, balls, a sprinkler and Nintendo DS...but guess what...my kids are bored!
July 9, 2008 at 10:14 AM
Ha ha! I remember those days as a teenager. The difference was, my mom's responses weren't nearly as clever as yours! Great post. Gives me a lot of perspective 15 years later!
July 9, 2008 at 2:19 PM
HAHA I was wondering when we would check out each other. As in blogs. LOL You seem to be everywhere that I am. And thanks for telling me what I have to look forward to with my son. I only have 1 but instead of bothering his would-be sibling he bothers me =) Hopefully boys aren't as bitchy as girls. LOL
July 10, 2008 at 6:19 AM
I am so tired of hearing "Im Bored"
I feel your pain sister.
July 10, 2008 at 3:51 PM
LOL...I was sooo excited for you for about 2 seconds...I feel like I could have had this same conversation at my house...I just told them if the $1000's worth of toys are soooo boring, let's get rid of them, and then I won't have to clean them up.
July 11, 2008 at 9:44 AM
I couldn't read all 39 comments so I don't know if someone else suggested this...but maybe she could sell some of the "stuff" she doesn't want to play with to make money. She could also make lemonade and sell it AND sell some of her cool sewing projects to make money. Mom could send out an e-mail when the sale happens so friends and fam can come by and drop a few bucks.
This works for my guys in addition to a promise of a trip to Target to spend some of the cash!