High School Preview Night
I've had a rush of anxiety last week.Yes, I know it's normal for me, but this was different.
Preview Night at our local high school sent waves of nervous energy through my body as well as my 8th grader's.
I'm so excited that DQ is going to start high school next year, a milestone that is huge for our family. One that I can't believe is upon us already.
I remember the little girl with curls who used to get the 5 o'clock giggles and couldn't stop just entering preschool for the first time and crying because she didn't want to be away from us.
Now begging to be away from us and the family adventures, my teenager is growing up so fast.
As we parked and walked to the auditorium, memories of myself walking the same high school as a Freshman 25 years ago (!) came back.
It felt as if I had just left.
In the gym, we gathered as people spilled in and filled the bleachers. We met the superintendent, the principal, the ASB officers and then were separated into groups.
We talked classes, requirements, college-bound expectations, counselors, and grades.
We walked around booths for clubs and sports and courses that my daughter took in with wide-eyed fear.
It was all over-whelming, exciting, scary, and exhilirating. For me and for DQ.
This is happening, and fast.
A few nights ago, DQ dreamt she got a "C" in a high school course she didn't remember taking because of a memory fail.
All nerves in the subconscious.
I STILL have those dreams, but they're of college, and I graduated nearly 16 years ago!
"Can't I just repeat 8th grade?!"
....
I Have a TEEN!
"Where's my birthday post on your blog? You did one for everyone else!"
Well, usually she loathes when I speak of her on the blog.
I mean, she reads it, loves it, and laughs at it, but when I talk about her she often storms off in a huff about how I make her look.
Anyone who has had a teen or is in the throes of one now KNOWS what I mean.
We simply can't win as parents.
We love them, we give them their space, we applaud their accomplishments, we *try* to ignore their insults.
It's a slippery slope.
I've had ideas to make a video like I've done in the past, see here for her double-digits birthday.. http://www.themomjen.com/2008/11/in-last-decade.html
But, with the whole time thing, and the tears, and the time, I just didn't.
I did post a cute pic of her at 3 years old on FB on her special milestone 11-11-11 birthday.
"It has to have curls and not be ugly."
We did have a 7 hour party with 10 teens at the house with lots of soda, caffeine, candy, pizza, and Panda Express.
Surprising that no one puked.
We also had a sleepover with 3 girls that gave them 4.5 hours of sleep.
Then we shopped at a cool mall, but their exhaustion turned them into pumpkins at noon and they were zombies.
Then we went to the Cheesecake Factory for (more) soda, appetizers, lunch, and dessert.
Needless to say that the girls passed out cold on the way home.
So, no, I haven't come up with the best post or the baby-to big girl photo post for your birthday my dear daughter, but does this one work?
Maybe we can do that mall day all over again!
You're a beautiful 8th grader sweetheart, we all love you.
Holy crap I'm going to have a HIGH SCHOOLER next year.
Oh the posts will write themselves.
A Letter to My Almost Teenager
Dear DQ,You are almost thirteen.
Your special 11/11/11 birthday is coming up and I can't believe I'll have an official teenager.
This age is challenging to say the least.
I have been with you from your first breaths and it's getting harder to communicate my feelings to you as I'm sure it is for you..to me.
I want you to know...
1. I Understand. Even when you think I don't. Life is confusing right now, you want what you want and I have to be the boss, that's my job. But, remember I was you 25 years ago, sure I didn't have siblings close in age, but I know how it feels to be a teenage girl, and it's frustrating.
2. It IS Actually Fair. When I was your age I had to struggle and fight and want, now I'm the parent, it's the circle of life. You'll get your chance to be in charge. Let's not forget you were the only one to ever get our undivided attention for 2 years. How fair is that for K and My Boy?
3. I Love You all Equally. Hard to understand, but I have a mom too, and a brother. You all mean the world to me and I want you all to love eachother as I love you. Just because you don't remember when you were 5 or 10, I treated you like I treat your siblings.
4 Yes, K is Spoiled. I will be the first to admit it. She is my baby, my last child. You were my first child and were equally spoiled for that first 2 years. You have that special *first child/first granchild* spot, that's very unique.
5. I have HIGH Expectations for You. And, I always will. You are special, you have so many talents and I want you to always succeed like you do. It's tough being the role model for the other two kids, but you've done a damn good job so far.
6. You are Brilliant. Your mind works in a way mine does not, I envy that, you do well at all you try and things come easy to you. I am jealous ;)
7. You are Talented. I will never be a dancer, I don't have moves like Jagger. You do, you are amazing. Your dedication to your sport is awe inspiring and I can't wait until competition and wish recital was more times per year!
8. You Make Me Laugh. You have a funny sense of humor like Dad. Smiling and laughing are my favorite.
9. You are so much like your dad and you know that I love him with all my heart. I love you with all my heart. That though always makes me smile.
10. You are Beautiful. Your hair, your eyes, your lips, your smile, your body. Again, jealous.
11. Your Siblings Think You are a Rockstar. They always have. Remember when My Boy made you all the pink things in preschool and we worried he liked pink too much but it was all for you. He still admires you and talks highly about you when you aren't around. You know K is your mini-me in every way, she dances because she's always watched you!
12. Golden Rule. Can't be said enough treat those like you wanted to be treated, seriously it's like the best karma.
13. I Thank You. You have always been a faithful blog reader even when no one else has. I see you on your iPod giggling and ask what you're reading. You tell me "your blog" and it's the biggest compliment in the world. I know I may have put up pics you don't like, that embarass you, or said things I should have kept inside my head, but this is my online scrapbook for all of you and I want you to enjoy it.
14. Be Happy all the Time. Being mad, sad, angry wastes life. Find the best and good in everything.
15. Words Hurt. I cry too, say only nice things to me, dad, your siblings. We will do the same.
Most Important: I Love You and I always will, no matter what, even if I take your phone away.
Californians, the Weather, and Earthquakes
Only in CA will you find a boy walking to the high school in short sleeves and shorts on a 47 degree morning, I'm sure he's betting on at least a high of 55.Only in CA will my little almost-5 year old ask on a clear, sunny, crisp 57 degree December day, "Can we put the pool out, I'm hot!"
Only in CA will you get Californias all excited when an earthquake hits, then hits again, then hits again all in 24 hours!
Only in CA do we throw around numbers in conversation like 3.7, 2.0, 4.1 and we're not talking grade point averages!
Yesterday we were shaken awake by one of those 4.1's. Earthquake that is. Normally something you go "WHOA!" and then fall back asleep to. But, all the kids woke. Mainly because DQ was freaking out. A few things fell from her bookshelf and she doesn't like the sound of walls moving around her uncontrollably.
I don't blame her.
It can be scary.
I was driving a driver's education car in the Loma Prieta quake of 1989. Trying to remind myself, the right pedal is the gas, the one to the left was the break and trying not to drive with two feet. My teacher marked me down when I did that.
Just as soon as I reached the stop sign, a rumble passed beneath the car. I don't remember running over a bear, but that's kinda what it felt like.
I looked across the street and saw a facade of the building where my hairdresser worked fall straight down to the ground.
It was surreal. The car was bouncing, people were running from buildings, my driver's ed teacher was yelling at me!
"Turn around! Wait, get out, let me drive! We need to get back to the school. I need to find my kids!"
When the rocking and rolling and shaking stopped, we flew down the street, the teacher mentioning to us to never run stop signs and speed as he was doing to get back.
Only a few blocks from home, I walked from the school to find our backyard soaked like a rainstorm had hit. The swimming pool had sloshed water about and I ran inside to see what else was amiss.
The kitchen floor was covered in broken dishes and nerves were shaken. News of the quake and how hard it hit the bay area was on the radio as the World Series was going on at the time and was suddenely interrupted.
7.1 was the initial report, though I think it was reduced to a 6.8 later on.
I told DQ that story last night after we were hit with 2 more shakers that registered 3.7 and 4.5.
She was even more scared and has permanently left a blanket and pillow on the floor in our room, just in case she has to run in there and sleep in the middle of the night.
Now I'm scared.
Tough Lessons to Learn
Last month I blew up.DQ was invited to a Christmas party and it was a gift exchange.
We gave some thought to a gift and sent her on her way.
When we picked her up, she had a light saber in her hand.
"What the heck is that?"
Well it was her gift in the exchange.
It wasn't random, each girl drew another girl's name, so why a seven year old boy's gift? Ridiculous, I was fuming.
"Who picked your name?"
Like a tween, I got a shoulder shrug and an "i'm fine with it."
I'm sure she wasn't fine because she tried pawning it off on her younger siblings and even they didn't want it.
I facebooked about it and found out via the friend grapevine that my daughter said once in passing that she WANTED a light saber for a gift. As a joke I'm sure, but someone was listening and that's what she got. While other girls got nice gifts like cozy blankets and necklaces.
Be careful what you wish for, Lesson One.
---
Last night we went out to Chinese food.
DQ does not like Chinese unless it's from Panda Express.
We didn't go to Panda Express, so her plate was left bare while we ate and she read on her iPod.
We get home and after an hour of complaining she was starving, she decided on Easy Mac.
It says right on the container, EASY.
She was so flustered and hungry and god forbid she was having a conversation with me at the same time, she put the mac in the microwave and waited.
A minute in she yells, OMG THERE'S SMOKE COMING FROM THE MICROWAVE!!
We go into the kitchen and stop the timer and what do you know.
The container and the macaroni was melting in the microwave, smoke immediately poured throughout the house.
Between hacking, we ask what happened.
Oops, forgot to put the water in the cup.
Don't skip steps when cooking, especially when starving. Lesson 2.
More drama ensued when the only thing left for her to eat (because she's picky) is Spaghetti-O's.
Last time she saw spaghetti-o's was in the toilet after she threw up from the stomach flu.
"I'm sure it wasn't the food that made you sick, you just had a virus!"
After plenty of whining and screaming, she ate them.
And didn't vomit.
You'll eat anything if you're starving enough and it most likely won't make you sick. Hopefully. Lesson 3.
Sigh.
I don't ever want to relive the tween/teen years again.
It's hard enough being an adult, learning how to deal with the lessons the tweens learn.
No Boys Allowed
Just as soccer is coming to an end, the days are getting more flexible and schedules aren't choking us with carpooling, enter mid-November.What, only the 10th. Well, it's almost the middle.
Tomorrow is my daughter's 12th birthday. TWELVE, going on thirty.
How does this happen?
Oh yeah, time.
It flies.
I feel it every day as my aging body rebels.
So ten girls, my house, and no plan.
It makes me kinda wacky.
I'm so used to being in control of parties, food, activities, jump house, pinata. Done.
Two hours in and out.
Not now. My daughter wants a 6 hour party, her own random activities, food, pizza, and cake.
"I just want to hang mom."
Hang for 6 hours. With 10 others, in our small house.
STRESS.
Plus I have to pawn off K and My Boy to grandma's because the tween doesn't want distractions.
Like farting noises and screaming toddlers.
I actually understand that, thank goodness tomorrow's a holiday and grandma is off work. (Thanks Gran and papa, you rock!)
So amid the party planning, there was a slight detour.
DQ wanted to invite 3 boys to the party.
Of course it's not a sleepover, duh, that would be an automatic HELL TO THE NO! But, my daughter has attended birthday and holiday parties with friends that included boys. Sure, fine. BUT...
But...this is our house and we say no.
But...3 of these boys may or may not be "boyfriends" of some of the girls attending.
And by may or may not, I mean heavy on the MAY.
No.
Can you imagine the drama of just the 10 girls aged 12 and 13?
Let's NOT throw 3 boyfriends into the mix, i'm not ready to be patrolling the hallway to make sure doors aren't closed.
Oh I think I have to take a xanax just thinking about this.
Don't get me wrong, it's not a trust issue. It's just not what we're going to do. We're not going to support it. Enable it. Encourage it.
Plus, DQ doesn't know it yet, but she will attend the high school prom with her dad. No dating until you're 25 darling. Sorry.
Now, off to buy candy, popcorn, and Mountain Dew.
Can you believe I've never had a Mountain Dew, we've never bought it for our household, yet it's a staple for most tween parties.
Wish me luck.
The Eyes Have It (and the Teeth Do Too!)
Last week, DQ got fitted for contact lenses.It was her dream come true.
She's complained about her glasses since day one, and I don't blame her, she's at that age where looks are everything.
Hopefully now, dodge ball won't be as embarassing.
She was beaming all week.
Yesterday, she had more hardware removed.
Braces off after nearly FOUR (I miscalculated and added a year previously) years, my tween can see her teeth!
Oh the gorgeous-ness.
Where did my baby girl go?
Dodge Ball Drama
Second year now that DQ has had a separate PE teacher.That's what happens in junior high.
It's also a man, who apparently likes to talk on and on and on and on.
DQ has never had a male teacher until 6th and 7th grade PE.
It's a terrible combination.
85% of last year, the sport they played was Dodge Ball.
Aside from the ass-inine movie, I don't recall that being a sport.
It's an elementary school (think K-3) recess activity.
Why do I hear about Dodge Ball all the time?
Every day all year, they are playing "Nation" a fancy name for Dodge Ball.
DQ gets her glasses knocked off every time they play.
We see the optometrist frequently for adjustments.
Today I hear she was yelled at due to lack of participation.
Boys steal the ball when she gets it.
And apparently she's not good at the whole 'dodging' thing.
"Can you please discuss with the teacher that Nation/Dodge Ball is NOT a sport and it must be outlawed?" is what I'm supposed to do at Back to School night.
Seriously, there are other sports to play, soccer, baseball, basketball...come on, there's even square dancing...and dancing is something DQ can do!
Volleyball, badmitton, track, yoga?!
Even monkey bar races would take more skill than nailing eachother with a big red ball.
That apparently leaves a mark all day when you get hit in the leg from your own teammate.
She speaks from experience.
Sweetness Overheard.
We spent most of the day at the beach today.The kids and hub tried out the skim boards they made the other day, and I'm happy to report that no one was hurt.
My Boy brought a friend along and while they were digging a huge sand hole in the earth I overheard this conversation between two 9 year old boys:
My Boy: My sister was in her first dance recital last week.
Friend: Cool.
My Boy: Yeah, her whole class was dancing and looking at the teacher back stage following her steps. K was the ONLY ONE who didn't have to, she new the whole dance by heart!
Friend: Cool.
Oh my goodness, how sweet is that?
Between the Nerf Sand Wars and talking about digging to China via their sand pit, My Boy thought it was important to share with his friend about K's dance recital.
I was so touched.
But, not so much surprised.
Ever since my son was little, he has looked up to his big sister and has adored his little sister.
I remember being a tad worried when he'd come home from preschool with PINK items.
"Mommy, it's pink because I made it for my sister!"
The love of it all.
He is such a sweetheart.
Daaaaance the Night Away!
It's here.Dance Recital, 2010.
DQ's week to shine, with an added bonus of little sister's debut.
5 costume changes. A few quick-changes with only minutes to organize and my oldest daughter is a star.
Ballet. Jazz (competition), Lyrical, tap production, jazz, with competition tap tonight.
I'm so impressed always by her devotion to dance. She arranges all her costumes daily to ready herself for the event. She changes with attention to detail, applying just enough makeup, straightens her tights, lines up the seams. Dances her heart out each and every time.
She is beyond needing mom backstage to help her.
Independent. Beautiful. In control.
Light on her feet.
K still needs mom.
At their first performance last night, I was line-mom for the eight 3 and 4 year olds. Brought back memories from teaching Kindergarten except with ruffles and curls to tend to.
The girls did beautifully dancing to "It's My Party" and they were all smiles and singing.
Each girl with a mind of their own.
K says, "I'm SOOOO eeeksited! Mommy will you buy me flowers when I'm all done?"
Backstage waiting to dance then waiting for final bows, we kept the littles entertained with bubbles, coloring books, snacks, books, and cuddles into the dark night. (backstage was actually outside behind the theater)
Tonight is the final night, I get to sit in the audience and watch my girls shine.
DQ will receive a 5-year award with the studio and I am a proud dance mama.
Giving flowers to my favorite girls.
Live.Love.Dance.
A Thousand Words Thursday
Memorial Weekend, 2010 Hub and DQ took turns learning (re-learning) how to skim board. The weather was perfect. The water a crisp 55 degrees (probably) and let's just say the road rash on the upper thighs, a learning curve.
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The Color of the Week is Hot.Pink.
The sun did come out this week.Just enough to put the needed smile on my face.
The sun wasn't yellow.
Nope, it was...
Hot.Pink.
Costume one of seven for DQ.
K's recital song, "It's My Party!"
And she'll cry if she wants to.
But, I'm pretty sure she won't.
"How many more SCHWEEP-aways until my cidal?"
About a month honey.
"Oh that is so close!"
Little Kids Trapped in Hormone-soaked Bodies
State testing went on for DQ last week.Math and Language Arts for 4 days, the kids were drained and needed a bit of fun.
In the past, her teacher has chosen one day during the school year to celebrate all the kids' birthdays in the class.
What a way to ease the stress and pressure than a big birthday party!
At first, I thought...6th and 7th graders, ages 11-13, really are they going to go for it?
Hells yah!
Trapped inside those hormonally-challenged bodies are children who love to have fun.
Together with their teacher, we blew up balloons and got the games ready and anticipated the kids to come in.
SURPRISE!
The kids entered the classroom and lit up with smiles stretched across their faces. "PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY? YES!" they screamed.
Seriously, they turned back into 6 year olds and had the times of their lives.
Frozen bubble-gum game went over well (first one to make a bubble wins).
I had groups come out and use sidewalk chalk and they were in heaven.
Boys were making football and basketball logos, girls were making their names in bubble letters. At one point, the perfectionists in them asked me for water to "erase" their mistakes. Gotta love over-achievers!
Often when I'm at the school offering my help to the teacher, I rarely get a glance in my direction from my embarassed tween. It was great to have her come up and tell me how she was "a mile off" in pin the tail on the donkey..."mom I had on a blindfold and no glasses!"
Even more, I loved the class, they are so sweet and overall nice kids. I most often do paperwork for the teacher so I don't get to spend time around them, but it was pretty fun.
Who knew all you need to soften a tween was some cake and games geared for age 3 and up!
A Thousand Words Thursday
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Her Wish Came True
So the girl got her wish!Went to the ortho today thinking we were going to get some of DQ's braces removed.
What we got was an extension.
After taking a look at her teeth, the orthodontist wasn't thrilled by some spacing going on with her top teeth. "That needs a chain!"
Then the lower right canine, "needs to be turned."
Bottom line, we need about 2-3 more months of work.
But the good news is, if we turn that little canine and get the gaps filled then we will NOT have to ever worry about phase two. Really! That's what she said and I believe her. Not to mention I put the bug in her ear that My Boy will be here sooner than later, so I think she's golden on getting two more kids out of the deal from our family.
So the big grin on DQ's face proved to irk me a bit, but this means we will be getting retention when the mess all comes off in a few months.
So we won't be eating apples whole and corn on the cob for dinner just yet.
Why is it so hard to say goodbye? "I just like them, I'm used to them!!" says my oldest daughter with a stubborn-ness of steel.
Well, it's not like we're pulling a limb off or anything!
Kids, I will never understand them.
Goodbye Tin Grin
I don't understand tweens.They're always throwing you for loop.
Tomorrow DQ gets part of her braces off, all of them will be off in 2 weeks.
She's been wearing them for about 4 years.
Apparently she's bonded with them.
I thought she would be thrilled.
Considering she has a double whammy of glasses and braces at an age where a pimple could destroy your self-esteem!
Nope.
She doesn't want them off.
She wants them on forever.
HUH?!
Phase one of her braces stint is over. It's time.
But, when you think about it, if there's a phase one...it's usually followed by phase two.
Well, that is $3700 more dollars. We paid $3700 for the first phase, 4 years worth. Now they want to begin and end phase two over the course of one year. We said no.
We don't have orthodontic or dental insurance so the only other option is to remove the braces until we decide phase 2 will begin.
If it does at all.
We may look at her teeth and say, "fabulous, you can live with that!" I mean it's leaps and bounds better than when we started. She only has a few teeth that have yet to be bracketed due to just having lost her last of her babies last year.
Not to mention, My Boy.
He's next in line for the tin grin.
I guess neither parent brought the naturally straight tooth gene.
sigh.
Our orthodontist isn't happy with us, apparently she isn't aware of the state of the economy.
She doesn't want to give us a retainer either, saying it only comes at the end of all phases of braces.
I'll have to get the "heavy" in there to talk to her.
Hubby, that means YOU.
So be ready, honey!
No Mom, You Can't Come!
My oldest went to Science Camp today.Away from home for 3 days, 2 nights.
I miss her already, it's been 5 hours.
She's in good hands, her teacher, the principal of the school (also a mom of an attendee), and all her friends are going.
To the beach.
To study sea life.
Kayak, hike, build sand castles, not too shabby.
I wanted to go.
Hubby wanted to kayak.
DQ said NO.
We're too embarassing apparently.
I sorta understand, I was 11 once.
I know she's channeling me at that age, I would have been scarred had my parents offered to chaperone as much as I do.
I'm jealous of the other 6 parents who went.
I want to be the cool parent that I think I am.
I wouldn't embarass her.
I would hold back the cutely talk that we still have as mom/daughter.
I wouldn't tease her, hubs and I both promised that.
Still no.
On the flip side, My Boy has secured me a spot on the trip when he goes.
In 3 years.
If he goes.
If the school budgets allow.
Which at this point looks grim.
But, it's the thought that counts.
And, I didn't have to make any promises.
Oh am I going to embarass him!
Just kidding.
Maybe.
Wedding Belle (A Thousand Wedding Bells Thursday)
Over winter break, we all had some nice down time. No school, no schedules, gorgeous weather, lovely.Some may say it was a good time for a wedding.
DQ took it upon herself to be the wedding photographer and overseeing the marriage of "Beary Mc Bearingson" and Miss K.
The happy couple were married in our backyard, near the swings.
Um...er...she's kissed her groom.
She has to carry him around, he's put on a little weight this winter.
HEY! Who's suggesting all this mackin'?
They are a very unconventional couple.
She's choking him, and smiling. Just like normal couples.
Here K learns that her dad may not be too happy about her marrying so young.
"That's okay," she says. She'll try again when she's "growed up!"
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Put a Ring on It
Single Ladies is running through my head non-stop.Maybe because I heard it about 4,581 times today.
Dance competition season is upon us.
In between numbers they play music, the DJ must be in contract with Beyonce.
Anyway, she who shall not be named performed in two dances today.
Oh yeah, we can't even call her DQ anymore on my blog.
Too embarassing.
Don't talk about me on your blog.
Typing that is even worse.
She's sitting next to me right now laughing, so I know she secretly loves it.
Where was I?!
Oh yeah, two dances, rocked them both.
Jazz dance is super duper cute.
Tap dance is amazing.
Fabulous.
Tappers feet are just so cool to watch.
I wish I had an ounce of SWSNBN's talent.
She just told me she's not talented.
Bupkis.
That I could be as good if I took a lesson.
But, I won't.
I can't.
I'd make a mockery of the dance biz, yo.
I just like to dance in the privacy of my own living room.
To Beyonce.
Single Ladies.
Booty shake and all.
While popping kisses in my mouth.
I've digressed again.
So two Platinum awards later, my girl did so great at her first comp of the season.
We get to do it all over again next weekend.
Double Platinum girls, you can do it!
A Thousand Words Thursday
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