Won't You Take Me To...Crazytown!
My love for drama tv is bubbling over tonight with the start of the Bachelor.
This time Jason Mesnick is back to find the love of his life, after DeAnna Pappas turned him down in the final bid for her affection. I rooted for him in that last show. I also could have predicted that she'd dump Jesse as well. He was such a
But Jason stole many hearts, including mine. Not because he was hot and could bounce a quarter off his abs, but because he was a dad.
*I'll wait as you all go "AWWWW!"*
Jason has 3-year-old Ty, and this time it's not a dirty little secret, it's out in the open from the start. And, 25 women will claw their way to nab him and *insert the wicked witch voice here* his little boy too!
Which is also a little weird that he's at the house with him. With daddy downstairs mackin' with every 3rd girl. Weird.
So with hubby's glass of wine in hand, and my water bottle we sat and watched the show.
The whole intro about Jason was also a mini infomercial about abs and chest hair. Does this guy work shirtless too? We get it, he's fit. Fabulous, on to the limos...
Can we say "train wreck" class? Holy toledo where did they find this bunch, at the Crazy Carnival?
When you hear the words, "stalker," "obsessed," "hot dog toppings," and "don't you love my fake teeth" all in a matter of an hour, you know you're riding the crazy train....
Queen Crazy--and the award goes to Renee. The crazy-eyed (hubby's words) one with the Vision Boards, remember her. Um. Yeah. Because she cuts and pastes words from magazines onto cardboard, all her dreams come true. Thankfully she got the boot, probably because she said Vision Board about 82 times and Jason was getting scared.
Boobs Award--this goes to Nikki. Nikki got Jason's first impression rose based solely on her cleavage I think. It was right in his face all show and well it would have been fitting if he'd stuck the flower in her dress.
Dental Dork--the dental hygenist steps out of the limo and all you see are these grotesque fake teeth. Ha ha good one. Introducing Shannon. Later we see her chatting one on one with Jason rattling off his personal info, social security number, and birthdates of his brothers, all the while saying the stalker's motto, "I'm totally NOT a stalker." She also adds that she is ready to have children after the end of the rose ceremony if he was in. Freakishly enough she was given a rose at the end of the show. Maybe ABC said, lets keep her for some added ratings, we'll throw in Disney passes for Ty.
Towards the end of the show, a twist within a twist occurs when the ladies are asked to vote OFF their least favorite girl in the house. Jason is looking shocked as they ultimately chose Megan, a mom of a 14-month-old boy. He had just said he connected with her.
Chris then tells the crowd, PSYCHE, Megan isn't going home she is actually getting a rose to stay. *enter Nelson's laugh* WAHHAH!
In the classiest possible way, Megan turns to the crowd and gives a few words of her own to the likes of B****** or A******* or something and then accepts the rose. I bet Jason fell in love with her on the spot.
As they scrolled to future footage of the show we see DeAnna back and telling Jason she's made a huge mistake! Like we didn't see that coming. Flash to Jason on a balcony crying.
The B Train to Crazyville leaves every Monday at 8 on ABC.
January 7, 2009 at 2:39 AM
OMG! I literally just got done watching The Bachelor online & decided to catch up on blogs & I found this post! I really don't think words can express how much I LOVED it! I wish I was as funny as you & could've written this! I was dieing laughing! I could not agree more... these girls are crazy! And DeAnna coming back... wow! So set up, but whatever we will eat it up of course!
GREAT POST! :) Sorry for rambling forever!
January 7, 2009 at 4:41 AM
Love it.....BUT you are right the women leave alot to be desired! I think they picked these weirdos on purpose knowing Deana was coming back...what an idiot though (Deana) for passing him up in the first place...she has to totally feel like a heel!! Can't wait until next Monday!!
January 7, 2009 at 5:23 AM
I always comment when I read your stuff....but the reality thing I am lost on.
So this is just me.
Saying 'hi'.
January 7, 2009 at 5:25 AM
You crack me up! I needed this laugh this morning. This season, the women really do seem crazier than in the past. I'm glad the vision board woman is gone. Oh & the wedding planner! She was another scary one. She already had their wedding planned, lol. The dental hygenist was a bit un-nerving as well. And I personally don't like Megan... so she'll probably be the one standing in the end! LOL
January 7, 2009 at 5:55 AM
I can't EVEN believe I forgot to watch! Grrrr!
January 7, 2009 at 6:05 AM
i haven't watched a bachelor show in forever! but, you have got me hooked just reading your outtake on things. i may have to catch up on it via computer and start watching next week:) thanks!
January 7, 2009 at 6:13 AM
Yes, but damn its worth every minute of my precious time!!
January 7, 2009 at 6:22 AM
Why do we do it? WHY?! Maybe we can twitter next Monday. Great post!!
January 7, 2009 at 6:29 AM
Great recap...I'm there with you babe!!!
January 7, 2009 at 6:29 AM
The Vision Board girl was a total freak and sad since she was 36 and still doing the whole vision board AND Kathie Lee Gifford talked about vision boards that morning on the Today show and I thought "what idiot over the age of 14 would believe in that shit?" Thanks for the recap- I saw most of it just not the rose ceremony.
January 7, 2009 at 6:35 AM
It's funny how these women think they are the one on the first day they meet him.
January 7, 2009 at 6:38 AM
Oh, snap! Thanks for posting this. I totally missed the first night of the Bachelor. How could I? Oh, geez!
Well, I feel like I'm all caught up thanks to your great description. I vow to never miss another episode.
:)
January 7, 2009 at 6:38 AM
I was thinking they were all crazy too. Although I kind of like the hot dog topping girl. Something about the widow bothers me but I can't figure it out. Maybe a little too high maintnance.
I can't believe DeAnna is coming back. Should be a great season.
January 7, 2009 at 6:48 AM
I thought the bachelor was hilarious...If I were Jason...i'd run the other way from all of them...they are all scary and strange! He can do way better and that's my first impression!
January 7, 2009 at 7:12 AM
I loooove this show and anticipated it for quite a while now. When they showed Deanna come back, I could have screamed, or did I? I faintly remember someone saying over and over...."No, No she can't do that!" It was me, yep!
January 7, 2009 at 7:12 AM
JEN! Enough, do NOT make me have to start watching this....must stay strong...out of principle.
January 7, 2009 at 7:54 AM
i LOVE it!!! My mondays are complete now...yanno fansofrealitytv.com or something like that has some super sluethers that think they have who jason picks all figured out...lots of spoilers-if you are impatient like me ;-)
January 7, 2009 at 8:16 AM
Just reading about it was entertaining! The hubby and I are going to have to check this crazy train out! :) Thanks for the tip!
January 7, 2009 at 8:16 AM
I can't get past the part where you mention "hubby's glass of wine and my water bottle"....what is that about? Why no glass of wine for Jen?
January 7, 2009 at 8:59 AM
I "deliberatly" missed that show...thanks for the update!!
January 7, 2009 at 9:20 AM
Hate to admit it but this show holds not interest for me. But I'm more than willing to "watch" it through your eyes and humor!
It does sound like a trainwreck and usually that means lots of funny!
January 7, 2009 at 9:38 AM
Yep - I watched. I loved Jason last season, although I have a feeling this season we are going to see him in a different light.
Anyway, your synopsis was dead on (as always). I'm not sure there was one girl in there that was normal. If I had to hear one more person talk about wanting kids or having kids. OMG, can you BE more transparent?!?! Seriously, they all acted so stinking ridiculous!
Ok, so I have to tell you that I always dubbed Renee (Queen Crazy) with a nickname...Big Head. HOLY CROW - did you see that thing. She's like a female George Lopez. Ok, I'm sorry that sounds so mean, but it was just so weird. Her body was so little and her head (or the illusion of it b/c of her hair) seemed so big. I was glad to see her go (definite wacko - vision board, ok....)
Anyway, I'm going to try to watch this season - half the time I forget it's on! And if I can get past hubby saying "I can't believe you watch this!!!!", I might make it!! :)
Honestly, I thought the previews were the most interesting part. I CANT believe DeAnna comes back. Whoa!!!! Should be interesting!!!
January 7, 2009 at 9:49 AM
AWW *SIGH* Jason yes he is a little hottie and those Abs OMG
Ok, I am not impressed with any of these women yet!!! And the whole DeAnna thing WOW!!
January 7, 2009 at 9:54 AM
You know what I just remembered? The one with the 14 month old baby!!! Uhm... maybe you want to be past the nursing pads stage before you're out there looking for a new husband chick! (Did he keep her? Can't remember)
January 7, 2009 at 11:13 AM
I started to watch this the other night...but I can't remember why I stopped! lol
January 7, 2009 at 11:28 AM
I wasn't going to watch this season, but after reading your recap, I think I may change my mind.
January 7, 2009 at 11:30 AM
I get wrapped up in all of these senseless reality shows too. Other favorites include Real Housewives of OC and Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. And all of them are train wrecks waiting to happen!
January 7, 2009 at 12:08 PM
I blogged about the Bachelor today too. Great minds think alike :)
I am so glad this is back on. You summed the girls up pretty well. The hot Dog Topping Girl & Vision Board girls were too funny.
January 7, 2009 at 12:32 PM
I have never watched the Bachelor but I might have to after reading your run down. *lol*
Linked over from ThreeBoys1Mommy and I think I'll hang out for a while if that's ok. I'm really enjoying myself.
January 7, 2009 at 12:36 PM
I watched, too. Shannon is a total nutjob... I cannot believe he kept her around for another week. My bet is that she doesn't stay long...
At least I hope she doesn't!
January 7, 2009 at 12:41 PM
yes, I loved Jason too. And decided I hated Deanna when she passed him up & made him cry. The Bachelor is SO my guilty pleasure...love your take on it!
January 7, 2009 at 12:51 PM
Sounds ridiculous but isn't it so much nicer to watch your drama on TV instead of in real life.
January 7, 2009 at 1:52 PM
See, I don't even need to watch it because I have your highlights! :) Still, I think R and I could have a good laugh together. But we do watch other shows together, and I love that.
January 7, 2009 at 2:08 PM
OMG I hate reality tv! Why do grown people need to find love on tv???
January 7, 2009 at 2:54 PM
I have never really watched this show much, but you know I am thinking I might have to check it out!
January 7, 2009 at 3:32 PM
Jen,
This show is an absolute "train Wreck". The amount of plastic surgery and vanity is enough to kill a small country. My question is. Is this really , reality? what has our society to come to?
January 7, 2009 at 6:30 PM
You know, I never watch this show. I don't. I mean seriously, who finds a mate this way? LOL!!
January 7, 2009 at 7:37 PM
I missed the show, thanks for the recap! I really don't like watching the first episode though, it's sooo annoying the way they all act around him, so fake!
January 7, 2009 at 8:21 PM
Watching last night I was completely thinking how I preferred watching the group of guys last season as opposed to watching a group of girls acting like nuts! Yes, vision boards girl was over the top! I hope he finds a gem in the group!
January 7, 2009 at 8:50 PM
I so have my train ticket and am ready to go! Even though I think Jason is kind of a weirdo, I do admit he's hot. (Smokin'.) I'd ride his train...JUST KIDDING LOL!!
January 7, 2009 at 8:58 PM
Somebody in our house was hogging the tv...I have to watch it on abc.com. He's so adorable!
January 8, 2009 at 7:21 AM
thanks for giving me another reason to waste time!! Genni and I watched it online since she home sick - we are both totally hooked - thanks for nothing ;) Ok, the dental dork IS a stalker - if you have to say that you aren't a stalker - YOU ARE!! the vision board chick - I know that author is "in" but she was not good advertising for him!! I think it's WRONG to bring that DeAnna chick back - she broke his heart - she should have to move on and get over it, not try for another 15 min of fame
just my 2 cents - with Genni's input
January 8, 2009 at 7:57 AM
Yep, I am totally watching this train wreck as well!
January 8, 2009 at 9:18 AM
I definately watched it on Monday and can't wait for more!!!!
January 8, 2009 at 3:09 PM
I'm a junkie for reality TV and Love the Bachelor! I even remembered Melissa from the Dallas COwboy Cheerleader reality show.
January 8, 2009 at 6:15 PM
i love your recap, the dentist girl is totally scary!! there are some freaks on this season, i am really not sure that i liked any of them!!
January 10, 2009 at 8:51 PM
I haven't watched this show in a few seasons but I'm thinking that I really need to get back into it. This guy looks pretty cute and the whole bringing back the old Bachelorette thing is too funny. Yeah, I'm definitely adding it to my already bursting at the seams Tivo.
January 11, 2009 at 8:13 AM
I completely agree, that was the craziest episode yet.