Full of It Friday


Guess what?! My "column" got picked up by the girls at MomDot!! I'll be featuring this ever-so-funny [humor me ladies] Q & A session every Friday.
MomDot is an amazing site filled with tons of weekly contests, featured bloggers and boutiques, entertainment, and overall a spankin' good time!
Feel free to check me out over there and continue to send me your questions, concerns, and issues via email and you might see yours answered at MomDot!
I'm there today, stop by and say HEY! ;)
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Darn it McDonald's haven't you memorized my car yet.
The ladies at Java have my coffee ready and right EVERY time I come through the drive-thru.
You see us like once a week.
It's 2 GIRL TOYS, 1 BOY TOY with our Happy Meals.
Not 3 for a boy. Not 3 for a girl. Not 2 boys, 1 girl. Not oops I forgot toys in all boxes.
HOW hard is it?!
It's on the screen I can see, it's on the receipt, it's on the screen you're looking at.
Bloody 'ell!
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Call it bragging. I don't care.
My daughter got her mid-quarter grades and she has straight-A's.
Her math grade?
A mere 99.34%.
No thanks to me, that's all her dad.
But, BOOYAH. That girl is on fire!
So proud!
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Dear State of CA-
Pass a budget already. We've been waiting for a $900 check from you for 3 months now. Um, we're not rich, and that would cover nearly a house payment. So pick it up over there, dammit!
Signed, the Mom's family
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AWWWW! I'm growing up!

My blog read Elementary School for the longest time.
Someone grab me a cap and gown!
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Want to read more Friday Fragments, check out Mrs.4444 at Half-Past Kissin' Time.

What Time Is It?
Ask The Mom time!*cue a funky rendition of HSM's song but add in "It's Ask The Mom Time...it's med-i-ca-tion!"*
OH, and NO phone call today from the lunch ladies!! (I scared them!)

You all have the floor again. Ask away.
Need to talk? Confess? Questions about life, kids, love, insects, blogging, things in my freezer, photography, advice on marriage, music, tweenagers, potty training, entertaiment, your Mother In Law? Shoot.
I've got time. Oh how much time I have.
As always, my disclaimer is that I am NOT a professional anything, just like to push my own stuff to the side and help my fellow man. Or woman. Sometimes I don't help at all.
Email me at themomjen@gmail.com or feel free to use the comment section. See how flexible I can be?
Check HERE for past Q&A.

You Wanted to Know, Part 2
*Don't forget to enter my contest!!*
*remember, I am not a professional...anything. Just a girl, helping my peeps (pun intended) while I ignore my own issues for a bit.
Do you ever plan on having more kids? I think we've struck the lottery with 3 healthy, smart, fun children. I think we're going to stop gambling in that department so to speak.
How do/did you know when your family is/was complete? When we had one, we knew we didn't want only one. When we had My Boy, we felt lucky to have a girl and a boy. Our 3rd was a blessing and 3 has always been our "number." It definately feels like our hearts are full.
Having a hard time here accepting that I am done having babies. I had a tubal with my third c/s and now have regrets -I think. Do you think this is common? Completely common. I feel that a man getting the big V would feel the same way also. These procedures put 'an end' to a period of your life that has been so emotionally, physically, and mentally altering. Focus on the next stage in your lives. Cultivate and enrich their lives as they grow older with you.
Gas prices have gone down to 4.27/gal. here in Fresno. What are you paying over there? We paid $4.43 this side of the hill.
Is it wrong that I fear having IM hold my ...member while I pee? (she said she wants to) Um...uh...no, don't be afraid, but maybe practice your aim, she may think you're messy.
Can someone (oh ...say...an ex wife) actually change and become reasonable and accommodating after 3 years of nasty attacks? For your sake I would love to say yes. If you can, be as reasonable and accommodating to her. Make yourself approachable and pray that it rubs off on her. If children are involved, do it for their sake if it's their mother. If not, you can only control yourself, there is a reason why she's an ex.
All right, what the heck do I wear to a beach wedding in Cabo? I have my fallback position - a 'flowy' black dress, but it just doesn't seem perfect for the occasion. I'd wear something that compliments you and your style first and foremost. You want to be comfortable and feel good in what you're in. Second I go with color. With that kind of backdrop, a great tropical color would totally work. If you still feel like black is best, accent it with color in a shawl or perhaps your jewelry.
Is it wrong for the 17 year old "not really" boyfriend tells "not really girlfriend" (our 16 year old) the he thinks her mom is a MILF? Like you've already said, it's truly disrespectful to your 16 year old. I hope your 16 year old can realize this boy still has some growing up to do and focuses her life in a different direction.
Ok How do you get an almost 5 year old boy to wipe his own butt? I thought I was the best parent ever when I got him potty trained but I'm SO tired of hearing, "Momma come wipe my butt". And I tried to teach him but he's scared he'll get poo on his hand. LOL And he poos about 4 times a damn day. Try using flushable wipes by the toilet. The moisture helps clean him and doesn't stick like t.p. does. Placing the wipe across his hand will help protect it from any extra mess. Immediately after, have some foam antibacterial soap ready for him to wash up. An incentive chart for this could come in handy too.
Tips for keeping blue eyeshadow in place? As I write this...I am wearing blue eyeshadow (and eyeliner) on several areas of my eyes that I did not apply it to. :-) I don't wear eyeshadow because I don't know how to wear it and I hate when it creases. Try Avon.com, I'm positive they have great tips for makeup.
Just how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Probably a cord, cord and a half.
How can I get more comments on my blog? That's my question. Silly, huh?!
What do find is are the best websites/communities/advertising whatevers that help drive traffic? No, not silly at all. Comment on other blogs, most people enjoy reciprocating, sharing the love. Join a blogging community like Mom Bloggers Club, Cre8Buzz (links on my sidebar) as well as Entrecard. I'm not doing advertising, i've yet to find anything that really brings in $.
So how much time do spend networking every day? Probably 2 hours spread over the day.
Do you think it is ok for married men to go to strip clubs without their wives? Yes, as long as it isn't my husband. If it's kept secret, red flag. Something else is wrong, I'd figure that out. If he 'claims it's a male bonding thing' he's lying. If he says he gets nothing out of it, he doesn't need to go.
At what age should you let your daughter shave her legs? Would you let them use a razor or just like a Nair product? I'm going to say, when the hair on her legs starts to bother or embarass her. Remind her though that it's a maintenance thing, once she starts she will need to keep it up. That may make her think twice, who knows? I'd probaly start with a razor and some shaving cream.
What is best way to get our dog to stop stinking- or better yet, to not let his smell permeate into my house? Lick salt off of your hand, bite a lemon, and take a shot of Patron. Chances are after a few of those, you'll forget you have a dog.
Thanks again for all your questions. I'll try and work on my Masters in Psychology before my next session.
You Wanted to Know...Part 1

What is your favorite white wine?...have you tried the Barefoot line? If $ were not an issue, what is your favorite wine? 2007 Pietra Santa Amore Pinot Grigio rings in at $24.00/bottle. I'm sure there are many others that I would fall in love with in any price range, but what I've had, this is my favorite.
And how did you get into photography? Have you taken classes or just self taught? I've been taking pics for years, just keep snapping every chance i get. My dad has always been a great photographer so I was always inspired. Now that I have a decent camera, I'd love to take a class, just haven't yet. Don't forget I use photoshop and have many "actions" and such to help enhance my images. They're not 'all me.'
Why do priests at funerals say, "She's in the lord's arms now," even when she didn't even believe in God? They hope that this gives you peace. Often people who don't believe don't think to plan a funeral for themselves that isn't faith based. Those who set up services are usually the ones seeking the words to comfort them.
Where do you think people who don't believe in God go? I don't even know where the people who DO believe in God go. I would like to believe a lot of things, but I fail to think that if you don't subscribe to a particular faith that you are left in a limbo for the unfortunate.
When did you start blogging and why do you continue?I started in March. I've wanted to blog for a while, but it took some time to figure out Blogger and such. I'm a scrapbooker, so I looked at blogging as my virtual scrapbook that friends and family can all keep up with. I've always wanted to have my real scrapbooks up to date so people can see what we're doing NOW as opposed to 2 years ago. Blogging fills that need for me. Plus, I have a lot to say in my crowded mind, so it's truly been therapeutic.
Is it normal to feel like running away when you're a SAHM? Maybe one day a month I feel this way. Totally normal. It's hard to be NEEDED 24/7, 365 days a year. It takes a lot from you, from your core. Don't get me wrong, I would never change my lifestyle. I've always gotten plenty of emotional deposits from choosing to stay home with my kids. But, on occasion, the desire to do something else for a day, a few hours is there.
What do you do for fun? Well blogging is fun. Hubs and I go to the movies. I spend time with my girlfriends (movies, dinner, Bunco, playdates, coffee). I play Bingo sometimes and it's fun when you win.
What are your hobbies - besides blogging and being a mom? Scrapbooking, reading, photography...
How do you get rid of an annoying habit that you have? Well...I have an annoying habit of biting my nails, and the skin around them. If I was adamant about ridding myself of this, I'd dip my fingertips in an unpleasant solution so that if they made contact with my mouth, disaster would ensue. If I had say a TIC where i'd cuss everytime I got in an uncomfortable situation, I'd probably contact a real therapist and search for the answers.
Why are boogers salty?It must be a chemical reaction in your body when you excrete fluids..like your sweat is salty, tears are salty...You nostrils excrete salty mucous.
Do you like underwire bras? They are mandatory for me.
How often do you shower? Daily is my goal, skipping a day is risky.
What's it like having a spaz as a friend? It's like the mothership calling me home.
Our daughters are about the same age. Mine will be 10 in August, and holy moly...wow! One minute she is an absolute sweetheart, and the next a bundle of hormones. Can you commiserate? YES! I thought I was moody...MAN! She can play the role of Two-Face in the next Batman movie. It's a stage, it too shall pass but be replaced with another even more challenging one. Can't wait...:S
Why, around 40, did my boobs start migrating to the land beneath my arms??? AND, do you know of any retail item that will retrieve the boobs and put them in their rightful place? Fly south did they? Yeah, I know. Hubby helped me out on this one. Two words, duct tape.
Ok, I am so ashamed of this...I have a 14 month old, and a 26 month old...neither of which I can get off the bottle. I feel like such a failure, but as long as the baby was using a bottle, the toddler wanted one, and he would steal them and throw fits, and I am weak, so I gave in. Now, I want them both off the bottle, but it just seems impossible. How can I accomplish this on my own since my hubby works all the time and still keep my sanity? If Suri Cruise can do it, so can your kids. No really, it depends on the fish you want to fry. If your kids are happy and healthy and don't have bad teeth....it's not the end of the world. K still has hers. My older two made it to Kindergarten not taking the bottle. Offer the cup, offer, offer, offer, but don't stress.
What do you use to edit your photos and how did you learn to use your camera and the software you use? I use Photoshop CS2 to "play with" my photos. I've been using it for a year and a half, and I taught myself as well as learned tips and tricks from friends. Photoshop has so many ways to add "actions" and settings to enhance pics (sepia tone, color pop, vintage, etc.). It takes a ton of time and practice. As far as learning to use my camera...that is ongoing.
The Mom is Accepting New Patients

Need to talk? Confess? Have a question for me or my Hubby? Questions about life, kids, love, insects, blogging, things in my freezer, photography, advice on marriage, music, tweenagers, potty training, your new dog perhaps (Tena). Shoot.
I've got time. Oh how much time I have.
As always, my disclaimer is that I am NOT a professional anything, just like to push my own stuff to the side and help my fellow man. Or woman. Sometimes I don't help at all.
Email me at themomjen@gmail.com or feel free to use the comment section. See how flexible I can be?
Ask The Mom, Part 2
*I am NOT a licensed therapist, doctor, or shaman, I just play one on my blog, often to avoid my own issues!
I have one 18 month old son. How do I keep him eating well? Right now he is getting three teeth and one molar in at the same time. He just wants yogurt and crackers. Okay, sometimes a bagel. How can I keep him eating well, any suggestions...even beyond teething time.
What about freezing some pureed veggies and fruits into ice cube tray sized portions and having him 'chew' on it to alleviate the pain and give him some nutrients. Bread some chicken, pork, or turkey cutlets and fry them up. The breading will get crunchy and may feel good on the gums. If you're really worried...Ensure is something that I know people have their kids drink (I personally haven't tried this).
Have you made any money on your blog?
12 cents when I had the google ads on. That's all.
Is it possible to survive on only 5 hours of sleep every day?
Yes, but it's not advised. If it's due to a baby, then I had to CIO with our 3rd because I NEEDED to sleep, and so did she. I'm not suggesting anyone let their kid scream...but if they are dry, not sick, and clearly wanting attention...let the baby cry for a little bit. Easier said than done, but that's why i'm NOT a professional.
I have a 2 1/2 year old boy that won't stop playing with his pee-pee. We have tried everything from distraction to naughty mat, to having him wear onesies. It has gotten better lately but only because I threaten to smack his hand if he does it in public. We have talked about how it is a private thing and he can only do it in his room, etc. He had surgery on his boy parts in Dec and later that month was when it really started. I think part of it is that it is a comforting thing for him, part is habit and part is that it feels good. Do you have any other suggestions?
I didn't have this issue with my son, but I know a few women that did. It seems that they ignored it when it was at home, done out of boredom, or because it felt good. But, if it happens in public (and in front of family or friends), they should be reminded that it isn't 'appropriate' or okay...whichever they understand best. Also, there might be a physical thing going on as a result of the surgery so one thing I'd do is mention it to his doctor.
What type of camera are you using?
I have a Canon Power Shot S5IS, and I love her.
What is your favorite Merlot and Pinot?
Merlot is a red, and reds are not my thing. I've tasted a few nice ones on wine tasting events, but not enough to have a fave. I'm assuming you mean 'red' Pinots as well...again I couldn't give you a favorite, sorry. I just tend to get headaches with reds, no fun!
What do you and hubby do on date night?
If there is a good movie out, we catch one. Most often we just go to dinner and chat without interruptions. Sometimes we clean house, and that's not code for anything but cleaning house. Sometimes we go to Costco or to Barnes & Noble. Yaya and Papa offer about once a week and it's for about 3 hours since it's usually a work night for them.
Do you listen to music while you blog/read blogs?
Yep, usually my playlist or Jango. Sometimes I listen to comedy on You Tube videos.
Are 3 kids easier than 2 like they say?
I'm not sure I understand the question. I've always heard that from one to two is the hardest transition and after that it's a cake walk. I don't want to say anything is easier or harder than something else because it's relative to perspective. When My Boy was a baby he was colicky. It made it hard to give a lot of attention to DQ at that time and I felt helpless. With K, now there are 3 people needing my attention at any given time and that's just as challenging. My older two love to play with and entertain K, so that frees me up a bit. And when DQ's at dance, MB is around for K, vice versa with Karate. I know that we always wanted to have more than one child so they would have eachother. Honestly NONE would be the easiest, but life would be so boring and unfulfilling to us for sure.
Why, Thank You for Asking!

I was pleased at the number of questions I received, so as promised I'm following up with my answers.
How do I get my 2 year old boy to stop hitting at random? Time outs are not working...
I have a friend that has a 'biter' and she's tried biting her child back to show them it hurts. I'm not sure I'd do this or try it by 'hiting' back...but I'd definately use my words to convey that hitting is not okay and it HURTS. How about having them hit something like a pillow if they feel that urge?
Do you live in middle California? Northern California or Southern California?
My television station's news broadcast refers to my 'area' as the Central Coast. We don't live on beachfront property though, but it would be lovely.
Can each day have 48 hours instead of 24? I just don't have enough time to accomplish what I need to! Help!
I suggest you stop sleeping all together...you can sleep when you're dead. Totally kidding, I just read that somewhere. Anyway, make a list of "MUST-DO's" for your day...no more than 5. Order them by priority, check off as you accomplish. Reassess at the end of the week. If you are still not getting your things done, re-examine your schedule.
How do I keep my identity as a person, a woman, when my entire being is absorbed in my three children most of time????
Make time for yourself. It MUST be a priority. Enlist your husband, mother, sister, neighbor to watch the kids for a few hours EVERY week. Mothering is hard work, hard 24/7 work! Go to the movies, get a pedicure, sit at the coffee shop with a book. 2 hours a week isn't a lot to ask for your sanity.
Best wine you've had recently? I too purchase wines solely based on the bottle. I like light, fruity wines.
Ooh I love a sweeter wine, Pinot Grigio's tend to be sweeter than most Chardonnays. I'm going to go with even a cheaper, less dazzling label...Fetzer Pinot Grigio or even the Fetzer Gewertzaminer!
What version of photoshop do you use on your photos? Do you do your own web design? How do you change your look so often?
I use Photoshop CS2 for my header designs, photos, and signatures. I had CS3 on a trial and enjoyed it, but stuck with what I was comfortable with. I design my headers, I enjoy changing them often because I can. I do this with my furniture in the house to. Mixes it up. I guess I get bored of some things easily. Plus designing is a fun hobby for me.
My doctor says I need to exercise- I HATE to exercise- I work full time, have a husband who travels,2 kids, 2 dogs,a house and a blog to take care of?Do you have any suggestions?
Get a Wii...fun for the kids, Wii Fit for Mom! We don't have one, but everyone who does swears the workouts are really fun and beneficial. Weekends, go for a family bike ride, walk the dog, go for a hike. Doing it together as a family instills good habits for the kids too.
I have boy. And I love him to pieces. He's almost 18 months old and full of cuddles, spit and vinegar. He's been at the same home daycare since he was 10 weeks old and she's a great lady. She's good to Ben and we like her for the most part. BUT, she turns NO sick kid away even though her policy says she does. She doesn't want the parents to come get their kids when their sick and miss work, but we're suffering b/c of it. How do I bring this up?? I'm getting ticked b/c we have had more germs brought home than humanly possible and we've been sick roughly 2,350 bazillion times each this year. I just think half of these germs could have been avoided.With Love,Sick of being Sick in Seattle
If you really care about her then you need to tell her that keeping sick kids at daycare is affecting your family. Doctor bills, prescriptions, pain, suffering, is it really worth it? Can you talk to the other parents that leave their kids there as well? She believes what she's doing is helping you, but in fact it isn't, she needs to know now.
My man is having legal troubles with his "ex" She is threatening our blogs to use against him.Can she do that?
Well, i'm not a lawyer, but is the blog saying damaging things about her? It sounds like desperation, but I can't honestly know the answer to this one.
Getting motivated to get in shape is never my problem. It's STAYING motivated that's hard. Any suggestions?
I hear ya on this one. I know you can only be accountable for yourself if you truly want to make a change, but enlist a friend and do it together, it would be twice as fun and possibly keep you on track.
How do I get my daughter to stop eating her boogers? It's seriously makes me wanna puke.
Sounds like she's deficient in the salt-goo-mineral category. Offer her a sour gummy worm when you see those little fingers heading from nose to mouth. If it were my little 2 year old I would tell her, "boogies are yucky, wipe them on a tissue, or your brother." that probably won't help at all, though.
I told you, I'm not licensed for this job.
Is there a place on your blog that I can click on to see all of your wine bottles? I remember seeing one about a dog but can't remember what it's called.
Thanks to this question, I just created something to show off my wine labels. You'll find Charlie's Chard Dog House in there too!
What's your secret? How do you come up with such witty stuff? And how do you keep a balance between personal blogging and blogging for other's entertainment? Or are you really THAT funny all the time, Jen? (Could be.)
I am funny all the time!
Kidding. Um...no secrets. I read a lot of other blogs and I know what I enjoy from each of them, so I try and put those types of things in my blog to make it fun for everyone. I am a people pleaser by nature, so if I make others happy or make them laugh that makes ME happy too. About being witty, I never thought of myself that way...people say I have a 'dry' sense of humor in real life. I still don't know what that means. I'm painfully shy in person, so all the wit comes from within my head and comes out in print. It's all me, but just tuned in a different key. Does that make sense at all?!
*disclaimer: I am not a real therapist, I only play one on my blog, often to avoid my own issues.*
This will be a recurring feature so look forward to more Q&A sessions with the sometime Therapist, most often Patient, The Mom.
Group Therapy

Make yourself comfortable on my 'couch.'
Do you need to talk? Have a burning issue you need to resolve? Would you like to ask me some questions my kids, my Hubby, my eclectic music choices? Do you need to know which aisle the detergent is in at Target, I can help. Relationship troubles? Does your 2 year old rule the roost?
I'm not a real therapist, but I play one on my blog. Well, sometimes I'm the patient, sometimes the doctor....anyway...Post your questions in my comments section. When I get a good handfull, i'll answer them in an upcoming post.