The One Where I Don't Shut Up
My writing is mumbly jumbly at best most days.I'm a rambler, through and through.
I don't use spell check. It's raw, uncensored, verbal diarreah from me daily.
You're welcome.
The same happens in person. Sometimes it's so bad and I get all sweaty and blushy-like.
Like today. Day 2 of school and I tried to carry on an adult conversation with DQ's teacher after school.
Me--Did you have a great second day?
Teacher--Yes, it was wonderful, this is a great class!
Me--Same group DQ had last year, yep they are a great set of kids.
Teacher--You can't go wrong with accelerated students...most of the time.
Me--I just wanted you to know that I have a toddler at home, so if I can help by taking work home with me, I can do that for you. At home.
[Did I just say home 3 times in the same breath?]
Teacher--Oh thank you, that would be great, you can grade papers.
Me--Cool. I never did much of that when I was a teacher, I taught K/1.
[Here we go.]
Teacher--Oh yeah when?
Me--10 years ago. Before DQ was born.
[Duh, she can do the math. Oh and she's humoring you, don't say more!!]
Me--I want to support DQ's and MB's teachers as much as possible, I know what you go through.
[Shut it, shut it now]
Me--At home, not here. I can't being K with me.
Teacher--Okay, I'll write your name down. Is it Jen with 2 n's or one?
Me--Two.
[NO IT'S NOT, it's ONE!]
Me--I mean one. One in Jen. 2 in Jennifer.
[You're blowing it man! Even DQ is rolling her eyes]
Teacher (walking me out the door)--Great, see you tomorrow.
[Restrain yourself!]
Me--Okay. Bye.
[Phew, if you would have said HOME one more time she would have slapped you silly!]
Sad, isn't it? For more of my senseless drivel, check out my Guest Post over at Amy, Amy, Bo Bamey's!!
August 20, 2008 at 3:06 AM
I just wanted you to know that I enjoy your blog so much I just passed an award on to you. http://apronstringsandangst.com/i-heart-bloggy-love-two-awards/
August 20, 2008 at 3:52 AM
Yep, I'm a rambler too. Sometimes I can see the people I'm rambling to start to fade away and STILL I talk. See, you're probably already fading away and STILL I RAMBLE. I'm a rambling commenter...
August 20, 2008 at 4:22 AM
Jen,
I totally get what you're saying. My kid's teachers make me so nervous sometimes. I always feel like an ass when I talk to them.
August 20, 2008 at 4:23 AM
Awww....I find rambling endearing:)
August 20, 2008 at 5:04 AM
I love reading your blog.. you always make me feel like Im not the only one to put my foot in my mouth. I go to the office 2 times a week and I am always saying I can do that project for you if I can do it at home :-P.. Glad Im not the only one.
August 20, 2008 at 5:12 AM
Having children inhibits our ability to actually speak intelligently. Children are said to inherit intelligence from mom. I think they suck it directly out of us.
August 20, 2008 at 5:20 AM
LOL... I loved this post. I could see myself there. Minus the teaching part. I always seem to embarrass myself when I'm talking.
August 20, 2008 at 5:29 AM
LOL...I think you are in good company...I too have tried desperatly to seem so cool with the teachers and struggled with getting my foot out of my mouth in the process...
Thanks for the Monkey's music!!
August 20, 2008 at 5:47 AM
So funny! I can totally see myself doing that someday. I get the same way when I get excited or nervous about something. I just can't seem to control the endless chatter.
August 20, 2008 at 6:05 AM
It's 6 am and you had me giggling out loud this morning. I think as moms we actually lose our ability to make sense at times. Kinda sad isn't it?!
August 20, 2008 at 6:08 AM
LOL, Well Jen (or is it Jenn?) I don't think you'll have to spend many nights grading papers AT HOME.
Is it too late to switch schools?
August 20, 2008 at 6:31 AM
Lol!! Hilarious sweetie!!
August 20, 2008 at 6:33 AM
OMG! That sounds like the conversation I had with the boys' bus driver this morning. LOL!
August 20, 2008 at 6:42 AM
I think it sounded like a completely normal conversation. For me anyway!
August 20, 2008 at 7:16 AM
I have to admit after reading this I'm glad to see it's not just me that gets like this when it comes to talking with anyone at the kids school. :) You're definitely not alone. http://spiceworld.us
August 20, 2008 at 7:18 AM
That is so me..babble babble...slobber...get choked on my own spit as I talk so fast that my brain can't keep up...see?!
btw, how DO you spell check in the new compose thing? No options. (And there's no "h" at the end diarrhea. I only know that because I have to write it a lot!!!) Luv ya!
August 20, 2008 at 7:30 AM
LOL! I am the same way! I talk first, think later. It frequently gets me into trouble...
August 20, 2008 at 7:41 AM
Did you turn red? Because I do the same thing and turn red. Why can't I think straight some times?
August 20, 2008 at 7:48 AM
I am sure she doesn't think your too crazy! see you this after noon!
August 20, 2008 at 7:56 AM
hehehe that made me giggle this morning :)
August 20, 2008 at 8:10 AM
Oh my gosh I get so nervous around my kids teachers. Whats up with that? I'm like at least ten years older than most of them but yet they make me feel like I'm about to get detention or something.
August 20, 2008 at 8:44 AM
Hysterical. I SO get where you are coming from. I always worry about being "that" mom, the one the teachers roll their eyes at when they see me. Its honestly my biggest fear. I think I'm good so far this year, I think they think I am normal. (Granted, I did send in a stack of paper work about my kid. Who am I kidding?) But its only day 2 of a new school. PLEEEENTY of time to screw up still (further). Yikes. Anyway, v. funny post.
August 20, 2008 at 9:44 AM
That is so funny, great post. I am headed over to check out your guest post. I just did my first guest post today and it was- TERRIFYING! Yikes. I have no prob jacking up my own blog, but somebody else's? That is scary!
August 20, 2008 at 9:50 AM
Great post, very funny.
Spell checking for the mouth is a much needed accessory for myself as well. I can't verabally spell to save my life.
August 20, 2008 at 10:05 AM
this is hysterical! i do this all the time and the whole time in my head i'm saying to myself "shut up, stop talking, shut your fricking mouth!". i always make an ass out of myself and the worst part is that i know i'm doing it while it's happening and i just can't stop myself.
August 20, 2008 at 10:25 AM
I don'thave kids and I do that all the time. Something about the brain moving fater than the mouth or whatever.
August 20, 2008 at 10:40 AM
I always manage to make a complete jerk of myself in front of people I most want to make a good impression on. This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I hate it when I give the wrong pleasantry. Like when I say, "Have a nice day", when I meant to say, "Thanks" or something like that. It's a wonder I can even dress myself.
August 20, 2008 at 11:10 AM
You sound like a nervous guy trying to get a date.
And you sound...like me.
Like a dork.
Not that you are a dork, but I mean, you know...I'm a dork.
yeah. So....
Anyhow...gotta go.
August 20, 2008 at 11:18 AM
Thanks for the laugh- I needed it-that was a funny,sadly familiar and awkward exchange. I've done the same kind of thing many times- probably why I haven't met many people out here because I just keep quiet now.
August 20, 2008 at 11:33 AM
LOL! That will be me next week. We meet Sissy's teacher in the morning then J-Man's teacher that night. So I get 2 chances to make a fool of myself in the same day. Go me! I feel your pain.
August 20, 2008 at 12:01 PM
I can relate - only my rambling is wayyy worse trust me you aren't that bad!!
August 20, 2008 at 12:03 PM
you know we are bread to make asses of ourselfs in front of teachers as adults... since we spent most of our childhood fearing them... glad to see that even those who were once teachers have the same fear :O -
August 20, 2008 at 12:38 PM
I think it is because we don't know how to handle ourselves in adult conversations in real life, because it is so rare that we get it! I am sure the teacher is just thankful you are willing to help out.
August 20, 2008 at 2:02 PM
*snort* That was a funny one Jen. I can picture it. You know your subconscious was screaming "I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THIS CLASSROOM!!! WITH KIDS!!!! I DEAL WITH KIDS ALL DAY!!!! I'LL DO WORK AT HOME!!! HOME!!!! HOME!!!!!" That's why you said home out loud a gazillion times! HA!
I don't blame you.
August 20, 2008 at 2:24 PM
It wasn't that bad. I'm sure she appreciated the offer. When I taught 4th grade, I had stacks of papers up to my eyeballs that needed to be graded. I would have LOVED a parent volunteer to do that for me...and extra bonus that you are a teacher too. :)
August 20, 2008 at 3:04 PM
I wish I could judge you, but really? I told someone the other day that my birthday was Feb 23...which is my husband's birthday. **sigh**
August 20, 2008 at 3:14 PM
haha I do the same thing...but image my looking like my head is going to explode cause of the color of red my face is (think maroon)....::SIGH::
August 20, 2008 at 3:34 PM
I personally worked with the teacners at my daughters school and still I have a hard time talking to them!
August 20, 2008 at 4:04 PM
Were you sweating too? Sometimes I can just feel it comin' on.
And I wonder if THEY can tell that I'm sweating, or stumbing over my words.
I HATE IT!
August 20, 2008 at 4:04 PM
Were you sweating too? Sometimes I can just feel it comin' on.
And I wonder if THEY can tell that I'm sweating, or stumbing over my words.
I HATE IT!
August 20, 2008 at 4:29 PM
I feel the same way sometimes and I hate those awkward pauses so I try to fill them with stupid blather. I'm an idiot sometimes...
August 20, 2008 at 9:08 PM
That is NOTHING compared to what I can spit out. Just follow me around and see what I say. My friends even laugh at me. My FRIENDS. I am a total rambler. I say awkward things, things that make people sit there and roll their eyes and go realllllly did you just say that? I'm not inappropriate, just slightly slow sometimes. Okay, like, ALL OF THE TIME. That's why I love the internetz. You can spell check and actually semi-plan out what you want to say without completely losing it and stumbling all over yourself. Although I do that a lot online too.
Is that Phineas and Ferb? Oh God Jen.
Any song with 'gitchi gitchi goo' in it...lawdy.
I love you anyways. Or maybe because of it.
Ooh! This next song is pretty, who is it? Let's go check: oh! Billy Joel. Nice. I guess I can forgive you for the Phineas and Ferb then.
Yes, it has taken me THREE songs (the first was some Miley Cyrus thing I think) to write this comment. See what I mean? PLANNING.
August 21, 2008 at 8:14 AM
Me too, I can be such a rambler. I can feel the words coming out, but can't seem to stop them. But hey, atleast you offerd to help!
August 21, 2008 at 9:32 AM
I made an ass out of myself with the teacher on the first day of school too. I mean not that you're an ass. Well, you know what I mean right? See...there you go. Me with foot in mouth and rambling!
I'll tell you the story over coffee someday. Like you need further evidence that I'm an idiot!
:+) And, you go girl! 44 comments! Wow. My tops is still 5 - even on the Vegas posts! Ugh.
August 21, 2008 at 12:15 PM
That is too funny and unfortunately been there done that too!!!
Still chuckling....
August 21, 2008 at 12:29 PM
that is too funny! Why is it that sometimes the words just don't come out right when we want them to? I put my foot in my mouth all the time. Hey did you just add the code to add your button? I am putting it on my blog right now.
August 21, 2008 at 12:30 PM
that is too funny! Why is it that sometimes the words just don't come out right when we want them to? I put my foot in my mouth all the time. Hey did you just add the code to add your button? I am putting it on my blog right now.
August 21, 2008 at 12:40 PM
You I love. I actually think we might be twins separated at birth, girlie. hehe.
August 21, 2008 at 1:23 PM
I love this post..
ramblings are the best!
:)
August 21, 2008 at 1:31 PM
Bwahahaa. I also can't stop myself from rambling. That conversation you were having with yourself in your head? Totally relate.
August 22, 2008 at 10:36 AM
oh jen, you are too funny!!! i love it! what a great rambler you are...but i think that really once i had bradley i lost my ability to have a normal conversation?? why?
August 22, 2008 at 5:42 PM
OMG, everyone totally does it, so don't worry! We ALL talk like that, I think the teachers are totally used to it. If someone comes in and talks all lucid and organized she will think they're on drugs or something ;-)
August 22, 2008 at 8:25 PM
This happens to the best of us. And if so, I must be one of the "best." ; )
August 23, 2008 at 7:48 AM
Too funny.
At least your intentions were ultra good.
So nice of you to offer to help her out.
August 23, 2008 at 8:34 PM
It's not that bad. And, it least you ( and we ) can laugh about it now. Happy POW!
August 28, 2015 at 10:43 PM
ha!
I ramble like a lunatic. I mean its bad.
You know why I cant have a blg? I mean besides the babbling? I dont do spell check but my typing is bad real bad. So bad that sometimes it is a marvel anyone caan make heaads or tails of it. I even mispell my name. I enter contests or will make comments and not be looking and will spell my first name rllrn - close but no cigar.
ellen beck on the form