The One Where I Don't Shut Up

My writing is mumbly jumbly at best most days.

I'm a rambler, through and through.

I don't use spell check. It's raw, uncensored, verbal diarreah from me daily.

You're welcome.

The same happens in person. Sometimes it's so bad and I get all sweaty and blushy-like.

Like today. Day 2 of school and I tried to carry on an adult conversation with DQ's teacher after school.

Me--Did you have a great second day?
Teacher--Yes, it was wonderful, this is a great class!
Me--Same group DQ had last year, yep they are a great set of kids.
Teacher--You can't go wrong with accelerated students...most of the time.
Me--I just wanted you to know that I have a toddler at home, so if I can help by taking work home with me, I can do that for you. At home.
[Did I just say home 3 times in the same breath?]

Teacher--Oh thank you, that would be great, you can grade papers.
Me--Cool. I never did much of that when I was a teacher, I taught K/1.

[Here we go.]

Teacher--Oh yeah when?
Me--10 years ago. Before DQ was born.

[Duh, she can do the math. Oh and she's humoring you, don't say more!!]

Me--I want to support DQ's and MB's teachers as much as possible, I know what you go through.

[Shut it, shut it now]

Me--At home, not here. I can't being K with me.
Teacher--Okay, I'll write your name down. Is it Jen with 2 n's or one?
Me--Two.

[NO IT'S NOT, it's ONE!]

Me--I mean one. One in Jen. 2 in Jennifer.

[You're blowing it man! Even DQ is rolling her eyes]

Teacher (walking me out the door)--Great, see you tomorrow.

[Restrain yourself!]

Me--Okay. Bye.

[Phew, if you would have said HOME one more time she would have slapped you silly!]

Sad, isn't it? For more of my senseless drivel, check out my Guest Post over at Amy, Amy, Bo Bamey's!!

56 supporters in group:

  1. Willow said...

    I just wanted you to know that I enjoy your blog so much I just passed an award on to you. http://apronstringsandangst.com/i-heart-bloggy-love-two-awards/

  2. Belle said...

    Yep, I'm a rambler too. Sometimes I can see the people I'm rambling to start to fade away and STILL I talk. See, you're probably already fading away and STILL I RAMBLE. I'm a rambling commenter...

  3. Deb said...

    Jen,

    I totally get what you're saying. My kid's teachers make me so nervous sometimes. I always feel like an ass when I talk to them.

  4. Brittany said...

    Awww....I find rambling endearing:)

  5. Lindsay said...

    I love reading your blog.. you always make me feel like Im not the only one to put my foot in my mouth. I go to the office 2 times a week and I am always saying I can do that project for you if I can do it at home :-P.. Glad Im not the only one.

  6. Weaselmomma said...

    Having children inhibits our ability to actually speak intelligently. Children are said to inherit intelligence from mom. I think they suck it directly out of us.

  7. atrailerparkmom said...

    LOL... I loved this post. I could see myself there. Minus the teaching part. I always seem to embarrass myself when I'm talking.

  8. Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

    LOL...I think you are in good company...I too have tried desperatly to seem so cool with the teachers and struggled with getting my foot out of my mouth in the process...

    Thanks for the Monkey's music!!

  9. Susan said...

    So funny! I can totally see myself doing that someday. I get the same way when I get excited or nervous about something. I just can't seem to control the endless chatter.

  10. Ranch Girl said...

    It's 6 am and you had me giggling out loud this morning. I think as moms we actually lose our ability to make sense at times. Kinda sad isn't it?!

  11. 3boys247 said...

    LOL, Well Jen (or is it Jenn?) I don't think you'll have to spend many nights grading papers AT HOME.

    Is it too late to switch schools?

  12. Chelle said...

    Lol!! Hilarious sweetie!!

  13. ComfyMom~Stacey said...

    OMG! That sounds like the conversation I had with the boys' bus driver this morning. LOL!

  14. Janel@Dandelion Dayz said...

    I think it sounded like a completely normal conversation. For me anyway!

  15. Spice said...

    I have to admit after reading this I'm glad to see it's not just me that gets like this when it comes to talking with anyone at the kids school. :) You're definitely not alone. http://spiceworld.us

  16. jill jill bo bill said...

    That is so me..babble babble...slobber...get choked on my own spit as I talk so fast that my brain can't keep up...see?!

    btw, how DO you spell check in the new compose thing? No options. (And there's no "h" at the end diarrhea. I only know that because I have to write it a lot!!!) Luv ya!

  17. JenniBeanV said...

    LOL! I am the same way! I talk first, think later. It frequently gets me into trouble...

  18. Tiffany said...

    Did you turn red? Because I do the same thing and turn red. Why can't I think straight some times?

  19. Jamey said...

    I am sure she doesn't think your too crazy! see you this after noon!

  20. ciara said...

    hehehe that made me giggle this morning :)

  21. Darcie said...

    Oh my gosh I get so nervous around my kids teachers. Whats up with that? I'm like at least ten years older than most of them but yet they make me feel like I'm about to get detention or something.

  22. Caroline said...

    Hysterical. I SO get where you are coming from. I always worry about being "that" mom, the one the teachers roll their eyes at when they see me. Its honestly my biggest fear. I think I'm good so far this year, I think they think I am normal. (Granted, I did send in a stack of paper work about my kid. Who am I kidding?) But its only day 2 of a new school. PLEEEENTY of time to screw up still (further). Yikes. Anyway, v. funny post.

  23. The White House said...

    That is so funny, great post. I am headed over to check out your guest post. I just did my first guest post today and it was- TERRIFYING! Yikes. I have no prob jacking up my own blog, but somebody else's? That is scary!

  24. MIke said...

    Great post, very funny.

    Spell checking for the mouth is a much needed accessory for myself as well. I can't verabally spell to save my life.

  25. Kelly said...

    this is hysterical! i do this all the time and the whole time in my head i'm saying to myself "shut up, stop talking, shut your fricking mouth!". i always make an ass out of myself and the worst part is that i know i'm doing it while it's happening and i just can't stop myself.

  26. scargosun said...

    I don'thave kids and I do that all the time. Something about the brain moving fater than the mouth or whatever.

  27. Susiewearsthepants said...

    I always manage to make a complete jerk of myself in front of people I most want to make a good impression on. This kind of thing happens to me all the time. I hate it when I give the wrong pleasantry. Like when I say, "Have a nice day", when I meant to say, "Thanks" or something like that. It's a wonder I can even dress myself.

  28. Jonny's Mommy said...

    You sound like a nervous guy trying to get a date.

    And you sound...like me.

    Like a dork.

    Not that you are a dork, but I mean, you know...I'm a dork.

    yeah. So....

    Anyhow...gotta go.

  29. Tenakim said...

    Thanks for the laugh- I needed it-that was a funny,sadly familiar and awkward exchange. I've done the same kind of thing many times- probably why I haven't met many people out here because I just keep quiet now.

  30. Elle said...

    LOL! That will be me next week. We meet Sissy's teacher in the morning then J-Man's teacher that night. So I get 2 chances to make a fool of myself in the same day. Go me! I feel your pain.

  31. Jamie said...

    I can relate - only my rambling is wayyy worse trust me you aren't that bad!!

  32. Marla said...

    you know we are bread to make asses of ourselfs in front of teachers as adults... since we spent most of our childhood fearing them... glad to see that even those who were once teachers have the same fear :O -

  33. Tena said...

    I think it is because we don't know how to handle ourselves in adult conversations in real life, because it is so rare that we get it! I am sure the teacher is just thankful you are willing to help out.

  34. Jenny said...

    *snort* That was a funny one Jen. I can picture it. You know your subconscious was screaming "I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THIS CLASSROOM!!! WITH KIDS!!!! I DEAL WITH KIDS ALL DAY!!!! I'LL DO WORK AT HOME!!! HOME!!!! HOME!!!!!" That's why you said home out loud a gazillion times! HA!
    I don't blame you.

  35. Kelli said...

    It wasn't that bad. I'm sure she appreciated the offer. When I taught 4th grade, I had stacks of papers up to my eyeballs that needed to be graded. I would have LOVED a parent volunteer to do that for me...and extra bonus that you are a teacher too. :)

  36. Anissa Mayhew said...

    I wish I could judge you, but really? I told someone the other day that my birthday was Feb 23...which is my husband's birthday. **sigh**

  37. Rebecca - I'm a Canon girl! said...

    haha I do the same thing...but image my looking like my head is going to explode cause of the color of red my face is (think maroon)....::SIGH::

  38. Allison said...

    I personally worked with the teacners at my daughters school and still I have a hard time talking to them!

  39. Ann said...

    Were you sweating too? Sometimes I can just feel it comin' on.
    And I wonder if THEY can tell that I'm sweating, or stumbing over my words.
    I HATE IT!

  40. Ann said...

    Were you sweating too? Sometimes I can just feel it comin' on.
    And I wonder if THEY can tell that I'm sweating, or stumbing over my words.
    I HATE IT!

  41. Petra said...

    I feel the same way sometimes and I hate those awkward pauses so I try to fill them with stupid blather. I'm an idiot sometimes...

  42. flickrlovr said...

    That is NOTHING compared to what I can spit out. Just follow me around and see what I say. My friends even laugh at me. My FRIENDS. I am a total rambler. I say awkward things, things that make people sit there and roll their eyes and go realllllly did you just say that? I'm not inappropriate, just slightly slow sometimes. Okay, like, ALL OF THE TIME. That's why I love the internetz. You can spell check and actually semi-plan out what you want to say without completely losing it and stumbling all over yourself. Although I do that a lot online too.

    Is that Phineas and Ferb? Oh God Jen.
    Any song with 'gitchi gitchi goo' in it...lawdy.
    I love you anyways. Or maybe because of it.

    Ooh! This next song is pretty, who is it? Let's go check: oh! Billy Joel. Nice. I guess I can forgive you for the Phineas and Ferb then.

    Yes, it has taken me THREE songs (the first was some Miley Cyrus thing I think) to write this comment. See what I mean? PLANNING.

  43. Dee Light said...

    Me too, I can be such a rambler. I can feel the words coming out, but can't seem to stop them. But hey, atleast you offerd to help!

  44. Rochelle said...

    I made an ass out of myself with the teacher on the first day of school too. I mean not that you're an ass. Well, you know what I mean right? See...there you go. Me with foot in mouth and rambling!

    I'll tell you the story over coffee someday. Like you need further evidence that I'm an idiot!

    :+) And, you go girl! 44 comments! Wow. My tops is still 5 - even on the Vegas posts! Ugh.

  45. Quirkyloon said...

    That is too funny and unfortunately been there done that too!!!

    Still chuckling....

  46. Kristen Andrews said...

    that is too funny! Why is it that sometimes the words just don't come out right when we want them to? I put my foot in my mouth all the time. Hey did you just add the code to add your button? I am putting it on my blog right now.

  47. Kristen Andrews said...

    that is too funny! Why is it that sometimes the words just don't come out right when we want them to? I put my foot in my mouth all the time. Hey did you just add the code to add your button? I am putting it on my blog right now.

  48. Ann(ie) said...

    You I love. I actually think we might be twins separated at birth, girlie. hehe.

  49. Kelly said...

    I love this post..
    ramblings are the best!
    :)

  50. Janine said...

    Bwahahaa. I also can't stop myself from rambling. That conversation you were having with yourself in your head? Totally relate.

  51. Clare said...

    oh jen, you are too funny!!! i love it! what a great rambler you are...but i think that really once i had bradley i lost my ability to have a normal conversation?? why?

  52. Shannon said...

    OMG, everyone totally does it, so don't worry! We ALL talk like that, I think the teachers are totally used to it. If someone comes in and talks all lucid and organized she will think they're on drugs or something ;-)

  53. Elaine A. said...

    This happens to the best of us. And if so, I must be one of the "best." ; )

  54. Carol said...

    Too funny.

    At least your intentions were ultra good.

    So nice of you to offer to help her out.

  55. Formercitygirl said...

    It's not that bad. And, it least you ( and we ) can laugh about it now. Happy POW!

  56. tannawings said...

    ha!
    I ramble like a lunatic. I mean its bad.

    You know why I cant have a blg? I mean besides the babbling? I dont do spell check but my typing is bad real bad. So bad that sometimes it is a marvel anyone caan make heaads or tails of it. I even mispell my name. I enter contests or will make comments and not be looking and will spell my first name rllrn - close but no cigar.

    ellen beck on the form

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