Not a Jump House, but a Jump SLIDE.

It's birthday week for K and I.

Well more for K, I tend to spend about 3 birthday MONTHS celebrating all that is me.

And, yes I totally deserve it.

That's what my hubby says.

And, I believe everything he says.

He's like the internet, he never lies.

So after the plethora of baseball meetings that are totally cramping my reality TV plans during the evenings this week, the weekend is TIME TO PARTY!

First, it will be all Lalaloopsy up in here with probably close to 400 hundred kids coming to celebrate K's SEVENTH birthday.

Okay, so I invited about 25 kids, and you hope and pray guess about half show up right?!

Nope, not our parties, we invite 25 and 40 come.  I'm not sure how that happens, but siblings of kids and neighbors, and even teachers from the school show up.  It's a mad house of fun.

To boot, we ordered a jumphouse..and not the box-ed in, dog-pile, WWF kind, it's a SLIDE.

It's going to be like Wipeout for kids. 

Just add the 35% chance of rain and all hell may just break loose.

Fab.

I don't know how many more kiddie parties I'm allowed but if this is the last one, they we're going out with a bang.

So then after they deflate the slide and pull the last kid off the plastic, it's my party!

Myself and 13 others are going to stack ourselves into a limo like I did back 3 years ago,
http://www.themomjen.com/2010/02/duh-nuh-nuh-na-nuh-nuh-they-say-its-my.html and we're going wine tasting then to dinner!

OOH it's going to be fun and crazy, and wild and fun. 

Did I mention I'm turning 40!

I'm going to try not to take a turn at the jump slide because I can already forsee a broken hip.

BUT, if that slide is still there after wine tasting, anything can happen!

Tooth Fairy Alert: A Special Request

Hubby and I and 3 other couples just returned from a New Year's-slash-early 40th birthday celebration in Vegas.

I'd tell you what happened, but with that whole "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" pact you make when you get off the plane and all...

It's pretty much top secret.

Or completely boring.

Or completely amazing.

I'll just say no one was tattooed {I think} and there was no tigers in our room and we may or may not have seen Chumlee from Pawn Stars.

Okay. Done.

So we arrive home and drive to meet the family and out jumps my littlest K smiling with THIS FACE:

Holy toledo, the kid can whistle now...or stick a straw right through that gap....or...wait....how many teeth were in that spot?!

I don't know about you, but that is a massive void and the tooth fairy better be on her game because at the last dentist appointment the dentist said her adult tooth is WAY up there.

Like, she wasn't suppose to lose that tooth for another 2-3 months or so.

Like, that adult tooth won't be here for another 4-6 months.

Oh well.

Of course the excitement builds as she anticipates who will be visiting under her pillow that night.

Mom, does the toof {and yes, now she lisps} faiwwy bring other stuff besides money?

Like what do you mean?

Like a suitcase. 

Uh, what now?!

{Friend from school} got a suitcase thingy when she lost her tooth.

Like to pack clothes in for a trip?!

NO! Like the one I got with Rapunzel on it with whip gloss in it.

Ohhh! Yes, like a little tin lunch box!

Uh huh! Uh huh! {nodding crazily}

Yeah, no.  I'm pretty sure she only brings money.

 What's the tooth fairy bring in your neck of the woods?

This is 40: Clothes Shopping

So my teen wants to shop every day if she could.

I used to be like that when I was her age.

Now it's a struggle. 

I'm super indecisive, I have no clue about fashion, and I'm short.

Super short, like 5'1 and that's a stretch, short.

Everything I love in fashion is made for 6 foot amazonian women with no waist, boobs, or butt.

I have the no butt thing ROCKED, but the rest, not so much.

I love floor length sun dresses.

I love skinny jeans.

I love boot cut jeans.

NONE of that looks good on a short person.

None.

It just makes you look shorter, and weird-like.

I love a good heel but then my toes go numb and I walk funny and that look is SO 1987.

SIGH.

So I'm strolling the Hollister Co. store, Gap, Forever 21, Old Navy, H&M following teens around and I want to cry.

Where does a short almost 40 year old shop?

Most things don't fit right,  or are too young for me.  If it fits right, I look 85 instead of 40.

My mom who was with us is in her 60's and has a million times more style than me.

How does that even happen?

She's super hip too.

I mean we walk into Hot Topic and the music blaring on the stereo is a song SHE KNOWS. 

I turn around and look to see who's singing and it's GRANDMA.

HOW do you know this song that's playing in this skater/goth/hip/ clothing store?!

Duh, it's "I Got You Babe." my mother tells me.

Okay it's a cover, but wow. 

This is 40 huh?!

Clothes don't look good, I'm getting a neck thing my 6 year old likes to call a GOBBLE, and my 60-something mom is cooler than me.

Fab.

Mama and Her Ducks

Wow, my babies are growing up.

Which One is More Weird? Christmas Gift Edition

Last year my oldest learned a lesson the hard way.

I tell my kids Be Careful What You Wish For.

This year it happened again, but it wasn't a birthday gift exchange, it was for Christmas and it's even more weird.

So my 6 year old must have told her friend she likes deer.

I don't know if it was in passing, related to reindeer, or she was reading a book about deer, but K's little classmate came over and brought her this yesterday:

Oh, what is it you ask?

A deer's antler.

Duh.

From this girl's backyard.

Where apparently it has been sitting for 12 years.

And, there were a lot more too.

K wasn't home at the moment, but I stood there in front of this girl and her mom and I was speechless, mouth agape, and there were a lot of seconds of silence.

The mom tells me that K told her daughter she wanted a deer's antler for Christmas and she happened to have one. 

So the right thing to do was for her to wrap ribbon around it and give it to K.

The mom just washed it with soapy water, so it smelled.

But, not of soapy water.

It smelled like....

...dead deer with a hint of soap.

Or wood.

SOOOOO K gets home and sees it under the tree.

So you like deer I ask.

Um, I didn't say I wanted it for Christmas.

Well {Mia} said you did and here it is.

Oh.

Be careful what you wish for!

She stood there just as I did by the door, kinda shocked, baffled. 

I'm still trying to decide what is more weird.  That my first grader is asking for deer antlers for a gift. 

OR if the person she told had one to give her. 

Mind. Blown.

Mama Wants to Jam

Aren't there days when you just want to get your groove on?

Sure maybe a few glasses of wine help, but let mom put on some tunes and rock out if she needs to.

After days of making lunches, driving here and there and everywhere so the kids have scouts and dance and baseball and soccer and and and...

Mom deserves a night in...to dance...and drink wine...and have some fun.

Then we have that responsible teen saying, "mom, I need to go to bed."

And, the six year old asking, "is it time for bed YET?"

And the husband just sitting there asking, "when can we watch Survivor?"

SERIOUSLY.

You guys are a ball of fun, and by fun I mean a ball of boring.

SIGH.

Sigh again.

It's a Wednesday, I get it.

Work and school tomorrow.

I totally understand.

But, COME. ON.

Music heals the soul and yes I know all the words to "Things That Make You Go HMMM..."

And, "Baby's Got Back..."

And, "Funky Cold Medina..."

And, "Landslide" by the Dixie Chicks originally sung by Stevie Nicks.

Sometimes mama just wants to hear her jams.

And dance.

Silly-like.

And, seriously I get reprimanded.

I'm on the computer reduced to listening music with earphones in my own house.

I'm an adult.

"MOOOOOOMMMMM, turn it DOOOOWWWWWNNNN!"

Seriously.

Ppppplllltttt!

Family Photos Courtesy of #DisneyHolidays

So it's that time of year again.

Time to pull out the stretchy pants to make room for those turkey and pie pounds.

Oh and it's Christmas Card attempt time too.

Last year I had a fabulous Christmas photo that I posted here on the blog.

But, I never mailed them.

Seriously I have about 50 or so floating around the house.

I may have left one for my mailman and gave one to the checker at Safeway, but other than that, no one saw the unbelieveable cuteness.

Well except for you guys.  I think.

So this year I had a plan.

No plan.

Just get a quick shot, throw it in black and white and let the decor from some printing company make it look good.

This is how that turned out....
DQ knows where all the cameras are on those rides now, she plans it.  K, she's apparently not phased by the darkness, speed, or thrill of it all.

SO.

Still looking for that special opp.

How about here at Cars Land?
Oops, no dad.

How about here in Downtown Disney...
No dad or DQ.

How about now...
Good gracious, 3 of us missing.

Nope, that isn't me, it's Minnie.

For the love of Disney....What is it going to take?

No parents, but I'm calling it, success.